I've always found that if I couldn't motivate myself to do something then I probably do not want to do it on some level and should be doing something else.

If that could be you then one solution is to take a break from work and try figure out what you'd rather be doing. You'll know because you'll feel drawn to it.

(I'm only half-kidding)

Unfortunately, I still have the problem of motivating myself to get started on my own chores. I have a much easier time helping other people with theirs.

Hitting the gym is one of the few activities I still pursue with a relative consistency but wouldn't be there without the minimal self-discipline required to get my butt of my chair or bed and go even when I don't feel like it. In fact that's the hardest part; huffing and puffing for the next hour or so is easy in comparison.

I keep telling myself that I'm using it as an excuse and that it's really laziness, but if I'm intellectually honest with myself I don't really believe that. It's like I miss some hormone that motivates me, similar to perhaps a gay person missing the sexual attraction to the opposite sex and not having any way to change that, in a world where nobody is gay and nobody gets why you don't have that genuine, inherent attraction.

Feel free to elaborate a bit on how you eventually got out of this if you'd like, I'd love to hear more. Perhaps it'll help me, too.

Thanks for sharing in any case :)

It's really hard for me to self-motivate. I get into slumps where I don't make progress on anything, then I spend a lot of time feeling bad and thinking about what to do, and then loop back to not doing anything.

If you look at Maslow's Hierarchy of needs, 'esteem' needs is right below self-actualization and what you and I do is bounce between these two levels. When you work alone and can't self-motivate, how do you satisfy the need for a sense of accomplishment, for power and prestige, for respect so you can self actualize?

Sometimes all I need is a goal. The right goal can kickstart my desire to do things and progress makes me feel accomplished, but these goals are hard to find.

Sometimes all I need is a checklist. Checking things off as done is a great motivator for me but it requires having things I need or want to do.

When I don't have a goal or a checklist, I hop on hackerrank and do practice problems. The ranking system is an ok motivator, I get the sense of progress and accomplishment when I complete a problem and I don't feel like I'm wasting time like when I get that from a video game.

After a while, I realize hackerrank isn't really doing much and I want to get out of the loop. This is when I start planning every half hour of the day. I write it out for the next day at the end of the day, set alarms and do whatever the schedule says. It's no longer up to me, I have to follow the schedule. When I'm writing the schedule, I think about things I might be interested in, things that would help others, things that would bring me health, wealth and happiness. I consider how much and what I could get done in half an hour, write it down and do it. Eventually I find something I like and it starts filling my schedule. After some time, I stop scheduling because I'm doing that all day. Then I usually get bored and start the whole loop over again.

Every 100 days I have a reset day (it's in my calendar) to stop and identify what brought joy and accomplishment and try to stay out of the feel bad loop.

I'm not motivated by anything, and I don't feel the need to be. Instead, I focus on what's right in front of me—whether that's one task at a time or all the tasks in my inbox—and I do them.

There are times when I am inspired by something outside myself—a great article, a movie, or a song—but most of the time, it's just me and what needs to get done.

And this works for me! It might not work for you, but that's okay. We all have different ways of staying on track and keeping ourselves motivated.

What's helping me is the concept of precommitment.

I have a simple system. It started as a simple weekly wager with a coworker: Every Friday, have a plan for your weekend. Complete that plan during your weekend. Failure in either part costs you a coffee, failure in both costs you lunch.

Those plans can be whatever you want. Ranging from taking care of basic life chores, to working on projects, to getting exercise, and to whatever else might seem a priority.

This doesn't fix the lack of intrinsic motivation to get started per se, but does add another, extrinsic, motivation. More wanting to save face than worrying about the hit to our wallets - both of us willing to tease each other and ourselves for being too meek in our planning when we succeed, or for being too ambitious or lazy when we fail. (Edit: Also out of a sense of competition.)

I'm still searching for intrinsic motivation, but at least as a stopgap, extrinsic motivation through precommitment is doing wonders for my life. Given that it took me a decade or so to figure out this much, I'll more than happily take it.

I wasted 3 years of my non-work life 20s playing an MMO (DAoC if you're curious), and I've had more failed relationships than I care to count (in a good one now though). I could have let that sort of thing get me down, instead I use it as motivation. No matter what there will come a point where you simply have to suck it up, and that means doing stuff even when you don't feel like it or you can get away with not doing it.

This isn't an insult to you, but you probably had it pretty easy your whole life so you've never had to dig down deep for intrinsic motivation. You've taken the first step of realizing that what you are doing now is not what you want to be doing. The next step is taking action to change, so get off your ass and get to it.

I enjoy high altitude hiking/mountain climbing so I'll leave you with this quote that I think epitomizes willpower and motivation:

"When I rest I feel utterly lifeless except that my throat burns when I draw breath...I can scarcely go on. No despair, no happiness, no anxiety. I have not lost the mastery of my feelings, there are actually no more feelings. I consist only of will." Messner on the first solo ascent of Everest

I personally think that, if you're lacking in motivation to do something but you realize it's something that needs to be done, you're lacking in self-discipline. Instead of waiting or hoping for motivation, you need to be disciplined and /do it/. Start with sleeping discipline: go to bed at 11 sharp, get up at 7 sharp, and stick with it. Excercise disipline: force yourself to go for a run every night, whether you feel up to it or not. That kinda thing.

With procrastination, the general advice is to force yourself to sit down and do something that needs to be done for five minutes. Surely you can do five minutes, right? Then reward with an instant-gratification thing. The general advice is to do 30 minutes, but I'd go down to just one minute or something if it's really bad.

Ask for help / monitoring, too. My brother had serious procrastination / concentration issues when he had to finish one of his last assignments. I was asked to help him out; I just asked him where he was, what needed to be doing, and er. Well, I just sat and read something while he worked.

So, self-discipline, and a friend to help you keep focused on the task at hand. Ask him to shock you if you reach out for distraction or something.

I have same problem as you but I fail to develop even simplest routines myself. I do things periodically only when there is outside pressure to do them periodically. Like going to school or to work. Otherwise I do things only if they bother me directly or I have spark of enthusiasm to try something out or straighten something out.

I could just sign last paragraph of your comment with my name.