i'm not sure how "not sharing my emotions" and "being non-social" are connected. i socialize with co-workers, but we are acquaintances for the most part. i reserve sharing my emotions for intimate friends and significant others.
I can relate with this. I only socialize for sex and/or money (e.g. networking). I have zero interest in anything else.
From my point of view everyone does the same, but can't deal with the isolating nature of it all and need to decorate it with friendships and similar unwritten rules and then act surprised when they don't work
I also enjoy time alone a little too much. I don't care to make much of an effort to socialize. Sometimes I wish I cared more, but meh. Still, I am a social animal. I live in a city, with other animals. I make sounds that other animals understand, and I can understand them too. I wear my emotional state on my face and I can perceive the emotional state of others by looking at them. I rely on my community to meet my basic needs, trading my services for food, shelter, and other things that please me. I am a human, a social animal.
We have different definitions of socializing. Commenting on a piece of news or opinions to enhance our thinking and gain knowledge/motivation/ideas, I don't call that socializing. I haven't made any connections through this platform and if I don't check the HNews for a week, I don't feel sad or missing anyone. But that's me. Someone else may be more (in)vested in here and consider HN as an integral part of their social life. I won't judge them.
Hmmm, I hadn't thought about the social aspect before. Now that I think of it, I do sometimes have a hard time being social after being deep into some complicated problem.
It's something that became pretty clear to me over the past year - if you don't get excited by this kind of physical contact you're probably a little different from others.
That's OK. I not only don't celebrate that way, it'd make me uncomfortable even for a peer I like to hug me out of excitement. It's not what I want but it's what other people want and it seems to be the norm.
You may end up learning that this may hold you back professionally at some point unless you can stay in a role that doesn't value social signaling, as these behaviors are basically expected, and not performing them will get you excluded, unless you find a way to surround yourself with people who have shared views on this sort of thing, which is really hard to find out because it's implied.
At least that's what I've been thinking this past year of isolation where I have been very happy to not feel obliged to do the social things everyone else so desperately wants to go out and do together.
I'm on the lookout for backcountry camping trips I can do once things are "back to normal" so I can continue my isolation while everyone is at restaurants and parties.
Oh, I'm not saying I can't be social. I'm just saying that I wasn't in the past—because of some wrongheaded assumptions—and so don't have a network to build off of.
Social interaction requires you to relate to other's experiences. When I'm often in the zone, I not only feel more distant, but also have less to say as usually I read less then, don't go out much.
Moreover, I often feel dissatisfied of myself while I don't have some tangible results at work. Then I feel shy and can't enjoy the moment. People see that (and especially girls I think!).
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