You make a good point (and it takes guts to admit being a bully): the anti-bullying strategy is to make the bully pick a different target.
You don't have to be "un-bullyable", you just have to be less bullyable than the next guy.
However, I still believe it's possible to fight back in a non-physical manner. My experience has always been that wit is sharper than fists, so I plan to teach my kids to fight back with language, not punches.
The only way to dissuade a bully is to hurt him. Bullies look for easy victims, and back off when they themselves are made vulnerable to you in some way.
This works because in general, most bullies are giant pussies. When they find out their target won't just accept their mis-guided aggressions but fight back, they just find a new target that won't.
> I learned early on that when you tattle on the bullies, they come for you twice as hard the next time. The only workable tactic was to distance yourself and hope they found someone else to pick on.
For anyone who is bullied, or has kids who are being bullied - this is a very weak tactic. When I was bullied in school what worked was a) allies and b) violence (I had the good fortune to grow up in a place where schoolkids never carry weapons)
What's up with that? Bullies go after the weak. You describe yourself as daring, in that you'd talk back if provoked. You weren't their target demographic.
It’s called “right back at ya”, a quite effective (online only though) strategy. “Give the other cheek” and similar BS is not going to work with crazy lunatics and bullies.
I never actually said that was the best response to bullying, just one possible response. It's what worked for me, and I think it can work for others as well. Sometimes breaking a bully's nose will make them leave you alone, sometimes it will just escalate the problem.
I think it's unwise to universally swear off any tactic when dealing with an oppressive situation, from simple bullying to an authoritarian government. You have to determine on a situational basis which tactics are going to be most effective, and then follow through with them.
Yes, but that's the point. I never picked on someone who I felt would fight back. I don't know how I developed this intuition as a kid but it was fairly accurate. The thing is if the kid fought back then I would probably have picked someone else. It must be hard for the bullying victim but it's something that has to be done.
This link you gave is interesting. My corollary to this is as a victim, never do favors for your bullier. It only makes you look weaker in their eyes and it will only spur them on. For me, the only solution is to fight back and make yourself not look an easy target.
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