> There are various subreddits where young people ask for advice and other young people with no experience are giving advice that might influence others negatively.
I've yet to see a relationships advice thread where the top comment isn't "get divorced immediately"
Which is scary, because these people are taking OP's comment at face value and only hearing one side of the story.
Although the number of 'white knights' on that subreddit is very high which leads to very skewed opinions on who is the asshole for relationship advice.
Pretty much the same as /r/relationshipadvice. I would advice everyone not to listen to __strangers__ opinions on the __internet__ on behavioral subjects based on a short description.
Go to any relationship subreddit and you'll see countless comments where the slightest misstep is treated as some indellible sin. It's terrifying how quickly these people would forsake a loved one. So many unbelievably jaded and cynical people influencing the thoughts of others.
A fairly specific example of helpful antagonism that this brings to mind for me:
There are a lot of Reddit posts on the regular that describe an obviously terrible and sometimes borderline abusive relationship, followed by a plea about how to improve their partner's behavior. The most helpful responses tend to be the purely antagonistic ones that reject the premise entirely and bluntly tell the person to leave the relationship in a way that a syncophantic LLM never would.
A more charitable interpretation is that people have gotten into situations bad enough where they've ended up seeking advice from strangers on the internet. (Not every relationship squabble ends up in a reddit post.)
You don't need to spend very long on that subreddit to see that it's just as susceptible to the typical narrow-minded, black and white Reddit justice as every other subreddit. When it's not crystal clear whether the OP is asshole, there is little room for any kind of nuance and people pile on. It's very similar to relationship_advice. Full of people who should be well aware that they don't have the whole story and that life can be complicated, but don't really care, since it's not their life, so it's easy to tell people they're an asshole or that they should break up with their partner of 5+ years or some such.
Tbh, it reeks of self-help guru. It's almost a meme now, along with "delete facebook, hit the gym, lawyer up" circlejerk you see in relationship forums.
If he's the one who can't handle the breakup then shouldn't he be the one to leave? The knee-jerk assumption that _she_ should leave is an example of the implicit sexism that sucks about our industry.
> . If your SO is strung out all the time, and you have no ability to support yourself, what would you do?
You should work out your issues, remove the things in your life that are causing you harm. (That relationship) Then date later. Moving from one bad relationship to another is a huge redflag.
Well, the top-level comment is describing what's basically an "XY problem problem" equivalent on relationship advice subreddits.
(XY problem problem is when you ask a question about X that's somewhat unusual, and every reply assumes you're an idiot suffering from "XY problem", and therefore ignores your question and schools you on some random thing.)
Whenever anyone posts anything about their partner that isn’t purely positive, people will come out of the woodworks to tell them to end the relationship.
From this one little anecdote you can’t judge that relationship.
The most depressing part of this whole affair is the masses of 'relationship advice' that was foist upon her. It's amazing how much bad relationship advice you can get out of a bunch of people that are otherwise normally complaining about how they can't get a relationship.
Personally, I suspect giving into peer pressure to go visit him right now is likely to have been a bad move, but we'll see.
It's not that i disagree that work/life balance isn't a serious issue, and a worthwhile topic of discussion, but why do people keep posting these threads in this sort of manner?
Asking advice of strangers without any suitable knowledge of you or your significant other, or your relationship is not going to result in good advice, if one is genuinely unsure of where life is leading.
In fact, most of the threads started in this manner, contain so little information that one can do little but caricature the participants. If you seriously want relationship advice, there are relationship/marriage councilors, if you think it's worth sorting out.
Advice is also particularly pointless, again lacking any proper context for relating to the situation at hand.
So i'm left wondering why these threads are started. Are these attempts at trolling? Flame bait? Is it an attempt to get something down on paper, to clarify the author's own thoughts on the subject (in which case, why post it to Hacker News)?
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As to the respondents, how on earth are you making the judgement that he should or shouldn't leave his girlfriend, given a total lack of knowledge regarding his startup? How can you possibly engage in a responsible cost-benefit analysis (even if it's not really quantifiable anyway), without receiving more than a 215 word description?
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