> Female sexual attraction favors secure men who don't talk feelings.
No, no. Women love it when men share their feelings. But they've gotta be the right feelings. A man should be brave and confident and supportive and strong and happy and secure. Maybe he worries about things a little, sometimes, but then he's OK again and he always has a plan.
He's unafraid to open up and be vulnerable, of course, but what he's being vulnerable to is never anything that would be a burden on anyone else or reduce his usefulness to the woman.
> They are attracted to men, but are not turned on by big muscles and aggression and alpha male posturing or what have you.
Not finding desirable the traits that you think are masculine traits does not mean that they do not find masculine traits desirable. It just means that what you think is the masculine traits, is wrong.
> No data point other than every guy that I know who has close friend girls, never had problems with masculinity or something
It’s possible you’re mixing cause and effect here; like, it’s not implausible that men with the sort of issues mentioned would have difficulty relating to women as people.
>Women have almost no intellectual curiosity. It is just how they are wired. If you want to have great conversations about anything meaningful, you must find a man.
You are hanging around the wrong women if that is what you are really interested in (I suspect not). I would be careful generalizing your experience with certain women to the remaining 50% of the human race!
> Men should learn not to pursue office relationships.
Of all the cases I know of office relationships (and I know a LOT) the man have been pursuing and being pursued roughly 50/50. I have not found observable differences in the ability of both sexes to be horny and able to get into a big mess in the workplace.
> Men were much more attracted to their female friends than vice versa.
Interestingly, that goes against my experience. At university, there were a number of girls that I liked but considered way out of my class, that I later learned fancied the pants off me.
There were also girls that I knew fancied the pants off me, but I wasn't having any of it, because I thought they were clingy, or too crazy (even for me). I'm pretty sure I dodged a couple of bullets back then.
> I don't cultivate such relationships unless I don't feel attracted to the woman in question.
This is certainly a common dynamic, with a lot of cultural reinforcement, but my point was simply that it's not the fault of the woman but rather the man who's trying to will something into existence and, in many cases, pretending to be something he's not.
>> hurting some women emotionally by only wanting them for sex.
I can definitely say as a man that in the context of some women in my life I would be hurt if sex is the only thing they wanted from me, too.
I don't necessarily see how the whole free-love movement is supposed to be responsible for my delusions about what kind of a lover I am currently hanging out with, though.
Funny thing about that, it's women (for hetros) that are the determination of what is 'desirable'. As a man, I agree with a lot of those who are discouraged with dating and running through the unwinnable rat race.
> I’ve often found it easier to establish friendships with women, but (being straight) they get complicated. Either I develop feelings, or they do, or there’s a suspicion from someone’s parter about the real nature of our relationship. It’s just too problematic.
I find it pretty weird to suggest you can’t have an overtly platonic relationship with someone. I’m a straight male, tall, relatively attractive, and on the wealthier side of my social circles. I’m married.
It’s very easy to behave in such a way that it’s clear I have no romantic interest in other women. I have never once felt that a woman failed to understand this and behave in kind.
I assume your personal experience with regard to women have been quite limited, if you have never met a women who cared about anything beyond "getting compliments".
>As a man, I've been fortunate enough never to have been put in a situation where I've had to doubt that interest in my work was merely a ploy to get me in bed.
Um, this kind of thing happens quite often to men.
That has absolutely not been my experience.
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