No more good reasons than historically. The media is to blame for much of the hysteria around what we should be doing as parents. I would've gone out of my mind as a kid if I was raised the way parents are expected to inject themselves into every facet of their kids lives. I need my space, even when I'm in a relationship I don't want anyone injecting themselves in my space. Not my parents, not my partner, not my kids, nobody. If you never make your kids deal with being unsupervised and alone for periods, they will never be able to be alone, which will make them dependent on spouses and partners constantly for their emotional well-being. That is unhealthy for themselves and their partners.
Obviously we can't know the consequences of society's overbearing and overzealous parenting "rules" until our kids become adults, but mark my words, they will come back to bite our kids in the asses if we don't give our kids room to breathe.
Parent has a point. We accept this level of attachment in children, but do not encourage it, because, well, it is not really necessary, and could be detrimental, to daily survival. This level of attachment may be helpful to the original poster, but it is a valid question as to whether it is actually good for them in the long run.
I grew up in one of those "children are meant to be seen, not heard" households, so attempts to be helpful and part of things was always rebuffed with "no you'll just getting in the way and break something". Made resentment of being given chores arbitrarily that much more intense, because why would I want to help now?
Of course, being older now with my own home I work hard to keep things tidy as a point of pride, no kids but if they ever come along I'm going to make sure if they want to help out that they feel involved and maybe learn something in the process-the kind of parents I wish I had.
A child's peer group has more influence over those questions than parents do. It's no excuse to neglect your children, but society places far more blame on parents than is warranted IMO.
Isn't this a good thing to not encourage this so that your kid don't end up with mental issues because of your failed marriage and his childhood where you never saw them ?
That's a really good point! I agree that we should be supportive of parents in the face of circumstances they can't directly control, rather than stigmatize them or hold them to an unfair standard. Thanks for explaining it that way.
I also think we can both do that and work to continue to improve circumstances, which to me includes recognizing that the circumstances can be improved.
Sure there are trade offs, and your position is understandable.
Self reliance and freedom are important but I don't see the value in not being able to call for help when help is needed.
As a parent you can still make the decision to not pick your child up if they are tired and want to be picked up.
This sort of shaming about how exactly someone should be, and how they’re failing to live up to expectations by not doing what parent is doing, is presumably exactly why this material exist. Thanks for illustrating to everyone why this might actually be useful.
Because people do not like to be treated like cattle? Parents want to have some control over how to raise their children, even if sometimes it leads to adverse effects.
The problem with allowing children at home forever is a lack of forced maturity. Why bother figuring out life as an adult when instead you can continue to live carefree as a child? That is problematic in that it continues to reinforce entitlements and expectations that are associated with dependence and risk aversion without consideration for the costs and consequences therein.
As somebody with a high school senior I am ready for my kid to enter the world. It’s not that I want to get rid of her but instead as a responsible parent I want to push in the controlled direction of accepting greater independence and responsibility. In putting that stress upon my child, which was a normal expectation 20 years ago, I am helping my child develop continued maturity well beyond her peers.
Completely agreed. If the children and parents are happy and healthy, whatever is happening in their home is working for them and it's absolutely not my place to question it. Everybody is different.
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