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Take 6 months and hire a coach or go to therapy to figure out what you really want.


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Take a break. 6 Months, a year, however long. In that time do physical work, don't work with your head. Look back at the end of your break and decide what you want to do. For perspective you need distance.

Another answer is to get a coach, who can hopefully step back and see if you're doing more harm than good to yourself, instead of just lone-wolfing it.

Take a break then, and try again in six months.

Find someone who walked your dreams. Stick to him for a year. And things will be much clear.

Thanks for sharing, this is good advice. Best to just focus on changing my mentality. Why do you say 2 years though?

- first take care of your health, physical and mental both. - Try smaller goals, for a week, then month. Any change would take some time so don't rush. - I would say don't go in relationship immediately until you are completely sure - I am grown up in developing country where people have much more challenges in life you might not imagine but they do their best one day at a time. Past is gone, focus on your daily routine. - See if there are any local NGOs where you can be a volunteer - Invest time in your skills based on your preference and past experience.

All the best and things will change for sure.


Oh hey advice from the passive aggressive guy. 6-12 months? I definitely kill myself within 2 months if nothing works out.

Work on yourself until you are genuinely happy for him.

i agree with this. sit down and figure out what you need to do in the next few months to succeed. if that means changing focus or direction, make it happen. if the path you're on now isn't going to work, you'll have to change or fail.

Just leave, seriously. I spent way too much time in the same situation waiting for things to get better and they never did. I did this twice; once for 6 years and one for 2. It won't get better, but it will make you worse at your craft. The only regret I had was I should have done it sooner.

It sounds like you have planned yourself into a box. Maybe it would be better to take it a step at a time and see how it goes?

Thanks for the advice. Once this shitty feeling of self hatred passes away, I plan on doing exactly that.

Figure out how to want to do things again.

my therapist told me I can’t do three things over the next year: change where I live, change my job, and change my relationship status

There are a lot of people who have had certain times in their life when they would really benefit from following this advice.


You need to start setting demands, and move on.

Take a break, take care of yourself. Be careful with energy levels and then you will know when is the right time and what you want to do.

What's always helped me is identifying what I want and creating a plan for getting / achieving it.

In that plan I identify the risks at play, and the mitigating actions I can take for those risks.

This process help me understand my feelings, gain perspective, get out of limbo and get myself back on 'offense'. I hope it can do the same for you.


Do what I always contemplate doing in these situations: go work on a kibbutz for 6 months until your head is clear.

Set it aside for a month or two or six and allow yourself the space to gain some perspective.

You’re probably too “in it” right now to make good decisions.

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