Agreed. That is how you end up with constantly escalating self-medication in my experience. When I realized all psychiatry had to offer me was drugs I was highly skeptical of (and yes, I did try a few), I decided to just switch to drugs I actually like. It does the trick, but it could be hurting my long term health more than it's worth. I certainly don't seem to be making any progress in my productivity or the quality of my choices, both of which could use a lot of improvement.

I take armodafinil. When I won't have to work for money in a few years, I'll still take it, because it allows me to do things I care about.

I think this is a lot like the whole debate around depression: unless you've been affected, you won't understand or know what you're talking about.

I think you would benefit greatly from a different kind of treatment, with an antipsychotic. Your comments remind me so much of a brilliant person in my family who was able return to his high-level FAANG job after beginning antipsychotic treatment.

Of course you have. You just didn't know it. People don't wear placards around their neck announcing "I'm on psych meds!"

Mine was a life of extremes, put simply I stopped caring about myself during that time and I poured myself into my work as I wanted to have something to show for what I felt was more than likely going to be a short Life.

I didn't think I was going to get rich doing any of that, in fact I lost money for most of it's existence and I never paid myself in order to pay everyone else and keep the lights on until we accomplished our mission statement, the only thing that saved me in the end was the skill set I developed made me marketable in fintech and I got head hunted to go work for a Megaorp.

I spent my Life doing what I wanted and lived a perilous and risky life and got addicted to the adrenaline rush and still deal with bad PTSD to this day. I take your words to heart, and I'm glad it worked, but sadly a family member who had a schizophrenic break down really early in life (teens) just passed from a heart attack this week; her health really went down hill after having been put on SSRI meds after that. But she also had substance abuse problems with alcohol, that run on both sides of her family, that exacerbated an already bad situation.

I'm devastated, I'm glad it worked for you, but honestly... I'm not sure it's as cut and dry as you make it out to be.

Back then I was trying to cope with my situation as best as I could, without medical insurance for most of that time, but I'm also the kind of person that goes to Ukraine during this situation and goes to help feed and process Ukrainians/Russians/Belarusians at the Mexican border in order to feel anything other than pain and sorrow if I have access to resources to do so. I'm not exactly seeking a medical escape, so much as trying to play a part in trying to accelerate the Human Condition in it's current form as I fear extinction is a real possibility.

In short, I was trying to fix my Weltschmerz with seemingly noble but self-destructive behaviours because I didn't want to give in to the often depressing and bleak realities of the World. I didn't nor do I want to feel any number than I already was back then.

I've since worked on it after the aforementioned situations forced me to re-evaluate my value system, and gain some perspective on my limitations.

Sounds like you did lose who you were, medications change your personality and that's not something I want for myself. More power to you for undergoing that change, though.

So whenever you now have to carry out a task you simply dispassionately do it? Taxes, cleaning the house, starting projects you do not understand yet...

There is no putting it off for days or even weeks?

Really trying to understand this as I assumed that doing this is at least to some extend pretty normal.

Do they have a drug to treat this condition yet? Maybe that’s what has been missing from my life.

Not at all. I am still me.

> Do you take weekends off the meds to be yourself?

No. I can be myself and still take the medication.

> I remember feeling like on meds I was an alternate personality - a different version of myself that I never felt comfortable as.

There are different types of medications. The only side effects I've experienced is less of an appetite and my mouth feels more dry than usual. I drink more water as a result. If the medication changes you, there are other kinds you can try. As I mentioned, I take medication that is not addictive (adderall is addictive, for example, and must be carefully monitored).

> if I can just buckle down and get some real work done

I remember that feeling before I knew what I had. I remember the drives into work, feeling excited about what I had waiting for me, and thinking over the problems. But when it came time to actually do it, I'd get easily distracted, and by the end of the day, have nothing to show for it.

Were you prescribed any medication? Just getting a diagnosis is good, and learning some tools to help you cope is great, but honestly medication has done wonders for me when I was taking it. (I'm not going to say which specific one, because I'm not a doctor, and what worked for me may not work for you.)

> And job market has not been so good unless I get enrolled in shady consultancies, which I don't want to.

What sort of shadiness are you talking about? If they're just crappy build-out-six-CRUD-apps-a-week shops, but their paychecks don't bounce... well, rent doesn't pay itself, you know? On the other hand, if they're doing something explicitly immoral or illegal, then yeah, avoid those.

This is important. When I went on anti-depressants (for pure-o OCD), my intent was to get some breathing room and learn to manage my symptoms better.

I've definitely been able to do that, but it's lead to a few cases of thinking 'hey, I should be able to stop taking these now', which have all gone poorly for me. I think I'm better able to cope now if I don't have access to medication, but I won't be stopping again any time soon, it's too risky for me.

I am immensely grateful for my anti-anxiety medication.

The only people I've ever known to have said this, were not qualified therapists, councillors, or psychologists. Isn't that interesting?

> No, no, no, no.

I'm sorry you struggled, but I think you misinterpreted my post. I never suggested that people must go medication-free, or that therapy is the only option.

The point is that optimal medication treatment still requires effort to learn healthy habits, facilitate self-discipline, and improve one's ability to focus.

If you need medication to begin that process, so be it, but taking medication shouldn't mean that you neglect the self-improvement aspect of this. The medication can be a springboard, but it's a mistake to give up on self-improvement and hope that medication can do all of the heavy lifting.

This is not a structure. It's a situation.

> I know it’s tempting to assume everyone else is just morally bankrupt and hedonistic because they’re flawed

No - the only assumption is yours you're making here. No one is saying that.

> no one in their right mind would ever “choose” to “take more and more drugs” knowing that was the endpoint

No one said they would.

I would gladly trade places with if you you honestly think this. I am homeless living with a mood disorder caused by an Autoimmune condition (Neuropsychiatric Lupus) that was misdiagnosed as Schizoaffective Bipolar Disorder for the last 30 years of my life. I cannot work.

So I kind of understand how you came to have this point of view. Since anyone on the internet, and usually some of the most successful people, can put up a blog and complain about their very common phenotype to moan about how losing their gloves amounts to a disorder.

And any short amount of research on nutrition could probably fix their issue but instead they go to pharmaceuticals.

For the purpose of trying to fill in that knowledge gap, let me say that as someone that just casually browsed the comments, you originally came across as tone-deaf and disconnected from reality. After the comment attempting to dismiss mental disorders, you came across as actively malicious.

If you're serious about just trying to help people, try harder than telling them to work harder on a forum almost exclusively populated with well-off professionals.

this is the thing i don’t get: for someone who’s by nature not accustomed to doing things in the prescribed way, how can they be expected to resolve that via the prescribed way?

i.e. i have to meddle through insurance, appointments, specialists that cost $$ for an assessment which _might_ lead to something useful or might just tell me things i’ve already learned via other means while waiting 2 months in line (actual ADHD specialists are in high demand) and then follow through with monthly checkups and such. if part of my issue is “i just can’t do things that way”, how can the expected solution require me to overcome that before getting treatment? it’s circular; it’s a contradiction.

> We shouldn't be so hesitant to medicate. It can be extremely useful, especially in combination with other management techniques. This stigma against medication hurts people.

i have a lot of friends for whom others would label non neurotypical. i’d never use that word myself, because i’m in such a bubble that i literally don’t know what the word is supposed to mean. but they point out my habits enough that it’s clear “you should see about a diagnosis”.

of course i haven’t, for reasons you can infer from the earlier paragraph. but these friends did turn me onto some QoL improvements like alarms, journaling systems, etc, and i also found that some meds help. it’s better, but now i’m stuck in a situation where i ration meds because the only way to get them through a system i understand involves paying 10x what i’d pay if i could jump through hoops for the professional medical system.

someday i’ll get around to actual diagnosis, but, well, i’m very good at finding excuses not to. it would be nice if i could be allowed to pursue these things in my own way instead of people using the law to block off as many alternatives as they can. allow me options, let the knowledge be easy to find, and sure promote awareness so that i can understand sooner that and how my mental experiences differ from what is normal or healthy. and then let me try these different options and figure out what works best for me. why can’t i have this?

You are the one who found the answer. You did the work, you didn't give up until you found a solution. Does it really matter what the solution is? Maybe in a broader sense, some solutions are better than others. But I am advocating that things can get better because our choices and actions, and you can do it. And you stated that you have.

If you read my other comments, you will see that I agree with you. That people need help, they can't do it on their own, I certainly didn't.

But no matter what happens, no matter how much help you give someone, if they don't do something also, nothing will change for them.