Hacker Read top | best | new | newcomments | leaders | about | bookmarklet login

If you don't like Tinder, maybe don't use it?


sort by: page size:

Don't use tinder.

There's multiple upsides: you don't become another slab of beef in the meat market. You don't get profiled and that profile sold. You can't be a target for mockery on Reddit/FB/etc.

I mean, I get it, sex is fun. But it's never required an app.


I'm not interested in their product, but if I were, I think the thought of the amount of intimate data that Tinder collects from its users would keep me well away.

Not a Tinder user so I might be wrong, isn't Tinder used for a hookup app so people shouldn't really complain about how it's bad for dating?

Not be on Tinder.

it's called Tinder

>Swipe on a few Tinder profiles and see if you can strike up a conversation.

I would strongly advice against that. Research has shown that the use of Tinder decreases the self-worthyness of in particular male users.


If you are looking for anything but sex on tinder, you're gonna have a bad time. There are very few relevant relationship signals on the app.

Don't look at tinder subreddit then.

Tinder? I’ve never used it but it’s used by a lot of people I know for legitimate dating.

Don't use apps for dating unless you want to compete on appearance and you want some good looking but boring, superficial and uninteresting tinder person.

The only way to actually like someone, not just push a button that says like, is to spend time with them in real life.


I was thinking of social networks mostly. Tinder is an antisocial, hookup app

Tinder's UX is about delivering the illusion of choice. Swiping through an endless carousel of potential companions keeps users on the app.

Whether they're real or not is the user's problem. Worst case scenario, they get fed up and go to OkCupid, which has the same parent company, and the same dehumanizing swipe based UI. Or they could go to Match.com, which I think is the parent company.


Is Tinder the right place for somebody in your frame of mind? It's plainly a meat market, not a great place for somebody who's looking for more than something really short and shallow.

Not that I have an alternative, just... really negative on Tinder.


Yeah, this is huge. Hardly anybody I know ises Tinder. Even though it doesn’t cost money, it’s behavior is blackboxed and it has all the gimmick features that ruin the whole experience.

Dating is an intimate personal thing. I would rather not do it at all than give up my dignity.


I'm not sure by what stretch of the imagination Tinder isn't useful, maybe not to you personally but to its intended audience.

By that standard, I could say hammers aren't useful because I personally don't have a use for them, or payday loans aren't useful because I'm personally opposed to them.


Many people in tinder are using it for real dating, not just hookups. Many bios include "Not looking for a hookup".

The best solution here is to simply not use Tinder. It's just a waste of time. CMB and Bumble are far better and have much better people. Tinder just seems to have some ultra-attractive and probably fake profiles for their "daily curated matches", and then a bunch of extremely undesirable people who haven't figured out that everyone's moved on from Tinder to better services.

Tinder (and presumably, dating apps in general) are in reality likely horrible for actually meeting people [1] [2].

[1] https://theoutline.com/post/3402/tinder-is-not-actually-for-... [2] https://theoutline.com/post/3711/the-tinder-struggle-visuali...


One of the problems with Tinder is its nebulous ethos. Is it a dating app or is it a hookup app? It seems to pretend that it's both without committing to either one, which muddies the water and I don't think that works terribly well.

Tinder is brilliant in that it focuses entirely on vanity, ego, and lust, far more so than any of its predecessors. Thus, it has taken a large portion of the dating market away from sites like OKCupid, which had virtually nobody on it in the LA area when I last used it nearly a year ago. Once upon a time, I was an overweight nerd with no money, yet I somehow got dates through OKC. Those days are long gone.

The only alternative I can recommend is real life. Nothing beats it, and it's the only way you can know you aren't wasting your time. Go to meetups and actually talk to people and figure out how to improve when you screw up. Being able to get to know people, even if they don't end up being dates, is pretty awesome. It means actually having to grow as a person, but I would bet on a higher success rate than with any dating app/website.

All dating apps I know of are a joke. Bumble is hilarious because it actually makes an existing problem worse and sells that as a solution; women don't want hundreds of messages from random penises, and they're very unlikely to initiate a conversation.(i don't blame them) Match, Chemistry, PoF, and all those old-school sites are borderline scams that charge a fortune. Match will send you daily emails telling you how many likes(is it "winks"? i can't remember now.) you're getting, but none of that seems to manifest on the site itself. It's the ol' bait and switch.

next

Legal | privacy