Honest question: have you tried writing first? I communicate with a few people via email every few months. It might start with a forwarded email, or just a quick how-do-you-do, then it deepens into long multi-paragraph replies over the course of days. Being able to sit down to write and rewrite what's been going on without someone watching the little typing bubble means I can get more in-depth with how I've been feeling. I would give it a shot. Try sending people a quick email. If they never reply, no biggie. If they do, you may be surprised at the result.
Try cold emailing people. Really, it helps. Find a list of people doing like-minded things and just shoot off a bunch of emails. You can ask them a question, or comment on something they did or wrote. Some won't reply, but most do.
This is interesting, as I sometimes do this. I don't like just writing an email requesting something and flinging it off to someone without talking to them in person. I put everything I need into an email. I'll then pop over just to say hey and explain. I guess I do this with people I don't usually communicate with.
I do this sometimes, but I don't email the people. It's a personal exercise. It was recommended to me by a therapist. While it does lift up my spirits and fill me gratitude and compassion, it'd make me feel worse if the person on the other side didn't respond for whatever reason... You've been lucky with your reply rate so far.
I like the idea, though. I'll give it a shot at sending them in the future.
This reminds me: some of the best "therapy" is to react to something in a draft email (with no recipient), then close it, walk away. Come back at some point and see if what you wrote makes any sense, needs to be communicated, or should be avoided altogether.
I find my initial writing almost never aligns with what needs to be done. But the process of writing it - in a reactive state or not - helps clarify that decision and slow it to the right (or a better) outcome.
I still find it useful to write those emails, even if I'm asking to talk to someone. The email serves as an agenda, it forces me to reason through the issue, and it serves as a long-term record of the issue. But the request for the meeting should come first.
Another tip: when writing communication (like email), start with TL;DR. Explain quickly who should read it and why. Start with the important stuff first, follow up with details and less important stuff.
If I initiate contact I always keep my first email extremely formal and polite. You never really know how the other person interprets emails (they could be a total snob for all you know) so it's better to play it safe.
If they respond in a more "casual" way, then I write back in a tone that matches theirs.
If I am writing to apologize about something, I try to write it in a more personable manner so that I can connect with them on a personal level. This generally diffuses any tension and makes people more sympathetic (at the cost of making you look less professional.. but something that's just worth it)
Yes. But what if the problem was actually with you. Why email you in the first place? Just tell us your story in few short lines, and everyone will judge from his perspective. The other party can have the ability to reply, too.
I agree, or you lose hope in the process. You're not going to get a reply the first time or even the 100th time, but if you believe that it works and keep modifying your approach in the email, it can work. I've tried sending cold emails and I got a reply after the 12th time. I try to tailor the email to each person. It's more time consuming and I can't send them as often as I want, but I find this more effective.
If they want a reply, they should write a clear question. If it's just long rambling without any apparent question or call to action, how should you respond anyway?
I'm one of those who ignores (or rather, doesn't respond to) more emails than I should. But if it's something really important then people will send me a second email with clear instructions. And after a while they'll learn to do so in the first email.
I'd add the tried and useful technique of having your first email be purely relationship creating: say, respond to a recent post with a useful thought, or point out a minor bug somewhere on the site
Having sent a decent bunch of emails to bloggers, I've also noticed that smiley faces increase response significantly, but using them makes me feel a bit cynical, so I usually don't ;-)
You can just do this with your friends! Send long emails and establish an expectation of reply-at-your-convenience. It's a tricky norm to get started but once it does it's quite rewarding.
Most important realisation for me personally: keep emailing.
As an introverted dev trying to sell I often assume silence means they don't care and they hate me. I've learnt this is almost always wrong - the recipient is typically just busy or indecisive. Stay polite/respectful/human but keep at them and don't let the void kill you.
Still figuring out the details but getting over that was quite a profound feeling and has turned out pretty useful in life generally
Agree with the premise, and it can be more effective to choose a different medium for your follow-up communication. Someone not responding to email? Try sending an IM or giving them a phone call.
This really, really works, and these are great tips.
A couple of other factors:
* Write when someone is less likely to be flooded with other emails.
This is obvious but non-trivial. We are most likely to want to email people when they are busiest, because they have recently done something to get everyone's attention.
* Do some research to figure out the best means of communication. For Patrick, and for most people, it's email.
On the other hand, Nassim Taleb, an author, despises email. He is very active on his Facebook page.
And, a good chunk of the work I did last year stemmed from a cold call to a company's receptionist. They are small, and so I was only one step away from the person who could instantly make a decision. If an email would have been better, she would have told me so rather than passing the phone over.
You probably already know who the 3-5 people are in your field who could make a difference to your work. It only takes 5-30 minutes to write a good email, and there's no downside.
reply