You're making the assumption that him knowing they were false meant he had a choice in saying them.
When it comes to psychosis, your knowledge and your actions can become completely disconnected. For my manic episodes, I'm fully conscious and aware of what I'm doing, with no ability to stop what I'm doing. I'm in the passenger seat of a car driving off the cliff.
A lot of what you say, I read it and say it's actually very consistent with him believing it.
People who suffer delusions often aren't stupid or even unconvincing. A lot of that intellectual effort you're describing, piecing together plausible details to justify their falsehood, can go into it. Someone I know who suffers these issues had a reputation in the family for being creative, a good storyteller... The hospitalizations and psychiatric diagnoses came later.
Are you really in a position to declare that that was not the case? Do you posses all evidence, or is there actually a chance that there are things about the situation that you don’t know?
Also he was mentally ill, his brain worked differently than normal. Rationality depends on perspective. He was probably acting with rationale according to his experiences.
> I have nothing to declare about his mental health - and neither should you.
He told the world he was schizophrenic, as well as describing at various times his (clearly schizophrenic) rationale for certain things, such as the random number generator that he believes God uses to talk to him. It's not a secret, and it's not something anybody is just guessing about.
I could not disagree with his opinions more. I think it's perfectly reasonable for him not to want people to pass around stories of what he did when psychotic, I also think that plenty of people may not take issue with him because of this bipolar episode, but that they are willing to use it in an effort to discredit him.
I also think that you are unreasonably dismissing the possibility that people take issues with him for reasons other than his opinions. Your contributions in this thread seem to argue that one can either think his mental illness is a cunning distraction and irrelevant because he is such a bad person OR his opinions are good. It is a bad argument.
I think he argues quite harshly against himself and says that his actions cannot be excused. He seems to harbour quite a bit of guilt and shame around this topic.
For context, bipolar is one of the highest suicide risk diseases due to this. When you come out of a manic episode you tend to feel intense shame and guilt for your actions. For reference, 1 in 2 bipolar will attempt suicide in their life. 1 in 5 will successfully end their life in the long run. So it is important to take his real admission of guilt and request for forgiveness into account.
please do, they are certainly caused by his schizophrenia. In much the same way a Tourettes sufferer cannot control their compulsion to say inappropriate things.
There are several key words such as 'stress' or 'overwhelming' or wanting to quit but being unable to, but what is often common to persons suffering of delusions of a manic extent (btw, I think they seized some cocaine from him as well if I remember correctly) is believing they are on a special mission to accomplish something world-changing and even expressing intent to sacrifice their lives if it were needed, zealousness, being over-invested emotionally in the 'idea' and perhaps most importantly, the unlikeness of their belief or idea actually manifesting as envisioned.
His message is very self-centered and does not mention other people (joining him or helping him reach his goal). It is not unreasonable to think/realize that his belief is/was failing to fit with his socio-cultural background, especially considering he was mostly running the op alone.
There were mentions of admins that were paid lowly sums compared to what he was making, I assume they had very limited attributions and he was the only one in true controlling capacity.
Throw in the necessity for secretiveness due to the nature of the op, the ensuing distrust and suspicion and it is a safe recipe for psychosis as a result of stress.
Is his point that his own mental illness, which caused him in the most recent episode to hurt himself with a barbell, that because he "felt" that his weapons were technology based, that... no harm no foul (outside of his own personal self-destructiveness), therefore, HE should not have actual guns? This is at odds with his last statement of "weapons in the hands of people with malicious intent are the problem."
>the only people that came to physical harm during this episode as a result of my actions were two mes, one of whom i killed by smashing my head into a desk, and the other i killed by bashing a barbell onto the bridge of my nose. both instances of self-harm occurred because i was convinced someone had to suffer for all the wrongs ever done in the world, and the voices in my head told me i could take it out on someone else and it would all be over. i chose to try to kill those voices rather than let any harm come to someone i loved.
Somehow he "took control" of his manic episode and luckily did not harm someone else or kill himself, and he believes it was a thread of reality related to technology that "saved" him?
I would caution to seek medication/treatment if not already doing so... that is a tenuous line of safety to tread that in his manic episode he could believe in the "safety" of technology to fight off the paranoia.
Can't really blame him much then, likely only the truly psychotic would have been depicted as mentally ill back then simply because didn't know what psychology was and thus definitely skewed his samples all over the place.
Then again, I'm probably just stating another unproven assumption.
When it comes to psychosis, your knowledge and your actions can become completely disconnected. For my manic episodes, I'm fully conscious and aware of what I'm doing, with no ability to stop what I'm doing. I'm in the passenger seat of a car driving off the cliff.
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