Many people simply spend the increases in their pay while fantasizing about what they don’t currently have.
Live in the country … “I need to be in the city where I can access more events and people to fulfill my life. The countryside is boring and making me feel x.” Live in the city … “I need to be in the country where I can have more solitude and enjoy nature to fulfill my life. The city is overstimulating and making me feel y.”
Some of us are nomadic by nature and simply want some place different every few years. Others want stability and remain in places for decades.
I used to fantasize about new places, expecting the change in environment alone to be impactful. Now I realize that changing locations will not by itself impact my life for the better, but the act of searching for a new home, discovering new places and meeting new people is exciting and invigorating.
Moving physical things sucks though, so minimizing physical possessions makes this lifestyle much smoother of course.
Imagine you make a comfortable living at a tech job. Now imagine you find out all your co-workers make three times as much as you. Feels bad, doesn't it? But you felt comfortable before.
I'd recommend a middle path. Homestead, but adopt some modern conveniences where it makes your life comfortable. Reject the things that would just lead to more difficulty, expense, complication. Then disconnect from your friends for a while and see if you don't start to feel good about your life again.
Personally, the more I'm out in nature and just comfortable enough, the more I think everyone else is crazy for living in cities. It's really beautiful and quiet and interesting out here. And I really appreciate every little advantage I have. Just being able to lie in my bed, snug and cozy, with a glass of wine, some mushroom risotto, a movie on the laptop, and the whole world outside just quiet and blanketed in pristine snow ... How could anyone ask for more?
I resonate with this as I type this from NYC, a city significantly more nature-starved than London. I was pretty impressed with the parks and greenery in London. My friend there bought a unit in the first floor of a townhouse with a backyard in a peaceful but convenient neighborhood. Such an apartment would cost at least double in NYC and those sort of places are rare.
I'm definitely not a rural person, but I do think that living in nature has a strong correlation to happiness. I don't think the average person in a concrete jungle like NYC is happier than in a random village in the Amazon jungle or the Swiss alps. I don't regret my time I lived in NYC though other than that I stayed too long. It's fun for a time in one's life while one is young, but it's not a forever place for most people.
Most jobs suck. "Find your passion" is bullshit career advice because a job by definition means selling your freedom (if the job was so much fun they wouldn't need to pay you because people would do it for free). Unfortunately the reality is that we must make money to afford a modern lifestyle, and thus if you want financial freedom you will probably need to get a job (yes you can create your own business, but until that takes off you need to pay the bills somehow).
I quit the rat race and left NYC to travel the world. After 1.5 years of traveling I started to run amount of money and I reluctantly decided to start working again - this time remotely. But to my surprise I found that I actually enjoyed the new job and had missed having that sense of responsibility (or maybe I liked finally seeing my bank account balance go up and was trying to rationalize it, who knows). But eventually the job started to suck as I realized it was a deadend job and felt like I wasn't respected. I was miserable and performing the job was a chore, but I stayed because I didn't have the courage to quit a job that paid so well for so little work - the same position I was in in NYC before my world travel.
Finally that contract ended, and I was again free from work obligations. This time I set my goal to create my own tech projects with the hope of eventually monetizing them and living off of that. Finally I enjoyed programming again because I was building whatever I wanted.
A job fell in my lap with another startup, and I initially didn't want to take it because my focus was on my own work. But in the end I decided to give it a chance as I figured it could be a valuable experience, and I can always quit if I don't like it. The job turned out to be awesome. Awesome people, interesting problems, and I get a front row seat at an early stage startup. The downside of course is that I have not been able to put as much time on my personal projects as I'd like, but I am still working on it on the side, and we'll see if I can manage them both.
Leaving the rat race to travel the world led to some amazing experiences with high highs and low lows. I went from being sick of software engineering to wanting to build my own tech startups - which is my main work goal now. It took me traveling so much I got bored of it until I got inspired to want to build tech things again to solve my own problems. But maybe you'll leave forever and prefer being a park ranger in the words - who knows. We're all different.
In any case I think people should do whatever the hell they want, as no money is worth wasting one's life in misery. Worst case scenario you don't like living in the nature and can return to London to work at another bank with a renewed sense of gratefulness. Of course most likely you probably won't ever return to the same exact old life. Maybe you'll work remotely for a startup from the woods, or become a writer, or go completely offline and just live a simpler life. Who knows. It doesn't matter as long as you're doing you.
Either way best of luck on your journey, from one rat rat escapee to the next.
> (1) Create compelling reasons for someone to not want to live in a city. For instance, allow one to work remotely.
A lot of folks who work remotely prefer the city since it gives them all the amenities that an office usually would like food (restaurants), gyms, cafes and an environment with a lot of people.
Some of us certainly do love city life. My current job is remote, and my family could live anywhere; we chose to give up our spacious house in a charming small town, with a lawn and a garden and separate home offices for me and my wife, and move back to the city, where we now live in a two-bedroom townhouse. No more home office - I visit a coworking space instead - but we're in a lovely walkable neighborhood near the heart of it all. We are much happier here and wouldn't go back.
I grew up in rural Pennsylvania and moved to Pittsburgh for Uni about a decade ago. My wife and I are making plans to move to the country, for me returning, but for her living there for the first time.
When in the city we both feel low levels of chronic stress. This is alleviated when in rural areas.
Right now our worries are finding a place for the right price, sufficiently removed from other people, close to enough places that we care about, access to fast internet.
I have heard from real estate agents that this desire to move to the country is becoming increasingly common. I don't know really why that is, but I have to imagine that the ability to work remotely has something to do with it.
I did exactly this for a year and my quality of life suffered so badly that I nearly had a panic attack so i just sucked it up and moved into the city. I mean look: I like living in the city but when I consider that I could eject and live in the country i continue to encounter the reality that i would be disconnected from the majority of my community and the most interesting and well paying jobs.
I moved from cities to a mountain village where 40 people live at the high point of the year. Best thing I ever did. I still like some cities but the different pace made realize we are just winding ourselves up needlessly. It is indeed an addiction which you do not need to achieve what you want (exceptions aside ofcourse).
Grew up in the countryside, population 3K. Very happy about it, it has given me deep friendships, safety and a deep love of all things nature.
Moved to a big city to attend a good University. Worked for global corporations 15+ years, got more airmiles than I imagined possible and loved every second of it.
Now I've got kids and live in a mid-size city, work is 30 minutes walk, and I'm starting to think that I should move to the countryside to give the same chances I had to learn to love nature.
Well, that's me: my wife and I left Seattle a few years ago, moved to a very small town in a very rural area, spent about a year and a half there, then gave it up and came back. Country life was lonely and boring; we are much happier in the city.
Counterpoint: as a late 20something software engineer, I'm taking the opportunity to work remotely as motivation to move to a (cheaper) city and live right in the heart of downtown. Now that I can choose where I work, I can move to a city I love that's a bit cheaper than my current location, own a house in an awesome neighborhood, and hopefully take much more advantage of what the city has to offer. As of now, I've done very little exploring in my current (very large) city because 1) I live on the outskirts to be able to afford my rent, 2) I had to drive almost an hour each way to get to work, and 3) I was so "busy" due to my commute that I was exhausted in the evenings and busy with keeping the house in order on the weekends.
Frankly, working remotely is giving me the opportunity to actually participate in the city culture I wanted so badly, but on a scale that's much easier to digest and enjoy.
Funny, i'm doing that - sort of, but i just like having a fair amount of space. I still want the same job, good internet, modern features, etc. I just want it on 10 acres so i have minimal neighbors lol.
For me it's about recharging. Something about being on computers all day makes me dislike the suburbs. I don't dislike my job, but i really enjoy being in my yard, growing things, the simplicity of maintaining my yard/gardens, etc.
In my case, the current situation adds 10 hours to my personal time. Thinking hard about moving to a remote-only position next. Sadly, moving closer to the workplace is out of the question because no force on earth will bring me to live in a densely built up city ever again; I reject urbanization for myself. I'd rather enjoy a green, quiet countryside.
I definitely agree that getting a property is a good idea. I feel much better and it's easier to stay away from news & social media whenever I go to countryside, where I have lots of free space and things to do outside. In an apartment there are only so many things one can do, and too many screens nearby, especially for a remote-worker like me.
Maybe urban life works for some people, but it definitely causes boredom to me, and social media & news are a distraction from that.
I have the opposite dream right now: I've spent almost my entire life in large cities and now that I'm in my thirties, finally have a career going, and am no longer obsessed with my sex life, I'm longing to move out of the city and somewhere a bit more suburban. I don't want kids or a wife — I just want space to be able to walk around half naked if I want to, sing at 4 in the morning if I feel like it, and indulge my own weird rhythms. I'm a software developer, and my company actually allows me to work remotely, so I'm seriously considering making the move. I seem to become more productive when I have more space, so even from a productivity standpoint the idea probably makes sense.
I actually love going on long walks, so the thought of walking a half hour to buy groceries if I don't buy a car seems ok.
I've spent the last decade or so in San Francisco, and none of the local scenes really attract me. There used to be some cool artists around, but a lot of them got priced out. Maybe some other city has a more thriving cultural life, but San Francisco's isn't doing anything for me. I just have to figure out where to move.
Well, I hope that we both manage to figure out a way of life that is good for us.
Something else I want to add is that I think the biggest pro I got from living in big cities, is that I have the mentality and hunger to make the best out of myself. Having a house, family, being able to travel etc. Obviously working remotely and getting a proper salary contributes to all that.
People here, especially 20-30 have the mentality that there is no future and there is nothing to fight for in life. Due to this atrocious crisis and all that comes with it, they have it as a fact that they won't be able to buy a house, they won't be able to travel and generally they let themselvs without trying to improve their situation. My wife tends to have those questions from time to time, like what am I doing here, am I progressing career wise, are there things to do, and after talking to her for a bit showing her a brighter side to what life has to offer she comes back to normal.
>but if you only need to show up once a week tops in your office, you can tolerate a longer commute
Depends on your family situation. Sounds fine for couple with kids but most single and childless people still want to live in the big city close to their friends and support network.
Moving to the countryside could mean you get to live for cheap in a big house all by yourself, but it could also mean a crushing lonely depression if your closest friend is over 1h away and need to schedule meetings ahead of time instead of spontaneously meeting for a coffee in the neighborhood on the way back from work/gym.
I am working on leaving a city where I live and moving out to the country side about 2 hours from where I am now. For me it's cost of living, independence, having a garden, and having enough space for my things. I'm no longer working in the city, my job is fully remote and it doesn't make sense for me anymore to pay the premium to live in the city.
However, I'm not sure that moving will fix your issue. You can still spend too much time on Twitter and listening to news podcasts and YouTube channels, you don't need to be in the city for that.
In fact, maybe staying in the city would be actually better for you. You can socialize, go walk around in the city, try out new restaurants, chat with all kinds of people, and realize that despite your favorite YouTuber saying society lost its ways, you can actually have normals conversations with most people.
Remember, whatever makes you miserable, in this case, you can just "stop it" a la Bob Newhart.
Live in the country … “I need to be in the city where I can access more events and people to fulfill my life. The countryside is boring and making me feel x.” Live in the city … “I need to be in the country where I can have more solitude and enjoy nature to fulfill my life. The city is overstimulating and making me feel y.”
Some of us are nomadic by nature and simply want some place different every few years. Others want stability and remain in places for decades.
I used to fantasize about new places, expecting the change in environment alone to be impactful. Now I realize that changing locations will not by itself impact my life for the better, but the act of searching for a new home, discovering new places and meeting new people is exciting and invigorating.
Moving physical things sucks though, so minimizing physical possessions makes this lifestyle much smoother of course.
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