I think he's talking about later in life, middle aged or later. It is clear that kids have much less maturity and ways to deal with things and need help when an adult usually does not. Even if they could, they have a lot less options to do anything by themselves, for example they can't just quit and move away (leaving aside that as an adult you still need a certain level of money to do that).
Also, in all those discussions I think it would be safe to assume "statistically speaking" unless being able to show one individual counter-example proves or disproves a point being discussed. Usually statements are not made under the assumption to be valid for every single person unless it is explicit.
> One huge difference between adults and non-adults is adults tend to grab every opportunity to improve their skills, and understand that those don't come that often.
Not most of the adults I know. Nor most of the teenagers either, for that matter. Actually, I think "grab every opportunity to improve their skills" describes children under 10 more than any other age group.
Well, from what I've heard regarding the frontal cortex, adult decision making is fully crystallized on average around age 25. So it kind of makes sense why on average society these days doesn't trust kids with important stuff.
Though, you know, statistics. There are outliers :-)
If an adult child said they want to stay home, cook for you and clean the house, and maybe look after younger siblings, most people would say they need to grow up and get a job.
>Adulthood is a hard transition and some people need more time
I live in the US, and everyone in my social network (age 40 to 60) was booted out of their parents house around age 18. And my piers in their 50s appear to be doing the same with their kids. Adulthood is the original "fake it till you make it" situation. Parenting is as well. Assuming there's no health issues at play, parents are doing their children a disservice by not allowing them to become adults.
Merging the discussion of kids and adults is a fallacy anyways since authority figures in a child's life hopefully know about preparing for the future and have the child's interests at heart to some extent.
As people grow up though authority figures have more of their own incentives and the people they are commanding have the figure things out for themselves which makes for a much larger grey area.
The issues described are dramatically worse for children since they don't have any agency over their own lives or the ability to actually grapple with these issues the way an adult can (emotional maturity really helps!)
If I read that correctly there is little support for the 'age' component of adulthood and a lot of support for 'required to act independently without a safety net'. It might explain why people who were 16 in the 19th century were considered ready to kick out into the "real" world.
In my own experience I did a couple of internships in my high school summers which required that I live away from home, plan all my own meals, budget my expenses, manage my housing situation, and track everything required to succeed in my internship. I had some really eye opening experiences (like having my motorcycle be in the shop and catching the bus to work but getting on the wrong direction and ending at the depot far from work.) That experience helped me "grow up" in many ways, and it was one of the reasons when I had kids my wife and I gave them responsibility as soon as we thought they could take it, so from age 10 on for example they did all of their own laundry. At 12 they were called on to cook a meal for the family from time to time, Etc. If nothing else that helped them be more functional when they got to college.
Adulting is not evil; it is a consequence of discharging your responsibility and functioning as a human being. Kids will be kids, that has nothing to do with responsibility. I could ask my child to go to work - he'll be completely inept at it. He would be, truly and genuinely, childish.
I view my kid as a roommate - one I have responsibility for. As they become capable, they obtain agency and will be asked to deliver on that agency, within the limits of their capacity. Sometime around 16, I will expect them to execute the full tasks of an adult, barring rent. In turn, I will operate as a counselor and guide at that point, giving them a cushion when their attempts fail; the cushion will be mostly removed when are 18.
Childhood in the WEIRD view is a recent innovation, dreamt up by the middle & upper middle class in the 1800s, much like teenagers in the 1900s.
These ideas of what constitutes normative behavior for specific ages are contingent on our cultural matrix and are not hardcoded.
Children used to get more practice with making meaningful decisions and what not than they typically do today. A lot of 18 year olds aren't really prepared to behave like adults.
I'm not excusing it. I'm just making an observation.
And I'm not blaming parents for that. The world has changed and it's harder than it used to be to simultaneously protect kids and give them room to grow.
Oh boy...so what do you tell your kids an adult is? Someone who does whatever it takes, no matter if they need to, no matter who it hurts right?
It's a highly misguided view that breaks down as soon as you hit life's roadblocks and require someone else to help you out.
Perhaps "children" is a bit derisive, but I'd argue that someone who hasn't really accomplished anything outside of the protective cocoon of their parents' home(s) and income is less than an adult.
Also, in all those discussions I think it would be safe to assume "statistically speaking" unless being able to show one individual counter-example proves or disproves a point being discussed. Usually statements are not made under the assumption to be valid for every single person unless it is explicit.
(Edited)
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