Why all this talk about sex for "entertainment"? Am I in the minority since I have sex because I have an urge to do it? It's never been about entertainment in my brain.
This is an interesting difference because I'm a man and at bare minimum I need to see that the people doing it are really into it. I need enthusiasm, but prefer to see or read the development of how it got to such a boiling point. I also like teasing better, sex is a mind game, you play it with your brain, and it lasts more than 3 minutes that way too.
Those folks who are not interested can say, "Nah." and if their partner presses the issue that's definitely problematic. A signal of "I'm not interested" should be the end of discussion, there are plenty of tools for folks whose partners aren't in the mood.
That said, there are many folks who aren't enthusiastic about the act itself, but have enthusiasm for the outcome. Many asexual folks I know, for instance, are enthusiastic that they can do something that makes their partners happy, even while not particularly enjoying the act. You are interpreting my definition in only the narrowest possible lens.
Not really, the other elements of sex are what keep 'regular' sex interesting; the connection, the variety of foreplay or positions, the fact that there's a real person there :D
I won't pretend to know much about the science behind it, but my understanding is that a habit of porn removes the link between being horny and then becoming sexually aroused. So instead of getting an erection because you see your sexy wife, you're getting one because you're so used to watching porn at 2 am before bed. And the extremely graphic and immediate nature of porn means that habit is a very strong one. It's like a chocolate bar in the immediate gratification and overwhelming of your senses. Whereas sex with a wife is more like a delicious but wholesome meal you sit down and enjoy. And that continues to be delicious no matter how much you eat it.
Oh, and since when was wanting your wife to dress up as Princess Leia seen as kinky? :P
I don't think that is it. I have sex whenever I want with my friend with benefits and masturbate twice a day, morning and night if I don't have sex. It is just not fulfilling long term. Sex is like eating, something you do because your body wants you to di it, but is not something my mind really cares about. I don't want to create something awesome to have sex, I already have all the sex I need, I want to create something awesome beacuse that is more important to me.
That's rubbish; you may not be in the mood, but you still consent to it - wanting to do something isn't the same as being horny. The point isn't about being horny, it's if you want to do it - being aroused is a factor you're introducing.
I know. That's a bit of a problem. Once you get into it there is nothing that can replace that adrenaline rush. You are getting so bored when you are in a relationship and have to stop doing it.
In the case of #1, you start to lose your association of fake or staged sex acts with real sex acts, and hopefully are able to re-educate yourself on what real sex is actually like.
In the case of #2, you deprive yourself of a completely natural pleasure.
I would put my bets behind quitting porn over stopping masturbation if the goal is to develop a healthy outlook on sex. I'd love to hear someone on the other side's thoughts though.
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