Meant for a reply to the adjacent Godel_unicode but the nesting limit (?) precludes that:
No, rude asshole criticism is extremely rude. Well-pitched constructive criticism is a gift, although you'd be right to say that when addressing strangers it's easy to come across as a demanding prick. So if you can provide that feedback for improvement along with sincere praise then criticize away.
There's difference between arrogant criticism and constructive feedback. Most of those who rudely criticize are those who rarely create anything. Instead they are mostly into commentaries.
Indeed, I think effective criticism is bound up with kindness. I know the times I've been an ass while criticizing somebody aren't about fixing the problem; they're about me looking smart at somebody else's expense. At best, I'm making them work past my obnoxiousness to get to the hopefully valuable bits. At worst, they discard the criticism as pure meanness.
On the other hand, if I'm really delivering criticism because I'd like someone to get better, then it usually works best when I make it easy to see that I'm on their side.
Rubbish. Constructive criticism requires input on specific paths to improve the situation. Telling someone they're a douche is just applying a generic insult. It's not even criticism of any kind, as douche is nonspecific.
You shouldn't dismiss a criticism just because it's delivered rudely. At the same time, why deliver a criticism rudely? What does that gain over delivering it politely?
Usually, if you're delivering a criticism, the intent is to inform the other party of some type of flaw that exists that you've observed or experienced. If you hope they fix that flaw, you're bound to get better results delivering the criticism politely than rudely ("you get more bees with honey than vinegar").
Sometimes you do have to deliver the information in a more abrasive fashion because you've painfully exhausted all polite approaches and the criticism has to be conveyed (usually because time sensitivity), but it should not be the first approach, it should be a last resort. Personally I argue that should only be done if there is a imminent danger of some sort (e.g. no, you're wrong the house will explode if we don't turn the gas off and put the fire out), otherwise you should simply agree to disagree before that point and try again another time or hope the other party may think about your argument more.
The default state of most people is that any criticism is a painful insult. I deliberately try to accept and learn from criticism, and have been told I take criticism unusually well. This pleases me.
That doesn’t mean I accept assholes. I used to accept them, but I learned to rid myself of them at the same time I learned to accept valid criticism.
Unfortunately I don’t know how to reliably give feedback that others find easy to accept. I wish to do better.
There are ways to criticise that don't mean being an asshole about it. The problem is that people have a tendency to act like an asshole when giving criticism, which is abusive to the person/people on the other end of the criticism.
Assholes don't write a 10-pages letter to help you do your job. They especially do not help you do your job.
Scott is unlikely to be an asshole. His, was a friendly comment. From what the author wrote, the comments allowed him to ponder and make the manuscript better. So constructive criticism does work.
One may, but that wouldn't be "nice", which is what I was talking about. Being able to critique something without being rude is certainly important for professionals, though.
From personal experience those who give the most useless kind of criticism tend to be very aggressive when receiving even the mildest form of constructive criticism, or even suggestions.
However criticism of code or architecture should be encouraged and seen as a constructive thing as it lets you discuss different approaches and why the current approach was taken and how it can be changed or improved.
Criticism and debate in Math, Engineering and Science should be encouraged.
No, rude asshole criticism is extremely rude. Well-pitched constructive criticism is a gift, although you'd be right to say that when addressing strangers it's easy to come across as a demanding prick. So if you can provide that feedback for improvement along with sincere praise then criticize away.
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