For many of us, just laying down to "relax" tends mean either scrolling through news, or closing our eyes and getting lost in racing thoughts while trying to resist the urge to take out our phone scroll through news...
Obviously, that's not great, so strategies to relax more naturally can be really helpful.
Saying "just relax, it's natural" is like saying "just be a marathon runner, it's natural". Both may be true, but in 2023 it can take some work and help for us to get back to those natural abilities.
There's a reason mindfulness and meditation is a thing people do for mental health. If we could all easily just, you know, chill out, then a lot of issues people face with anxiety and stress wouldn't exist :)
Because it gets you "in the zone", where you can temporarily forget the stress. Also, exerting control over something is a great way to deal with one's lack of control over something else.
It's not so much a self-help article as it is a you-can't-help-it article. It's about recognizing that sometimes there isn't anything you can do and that there is no need to feel pressure. In lieu of that, you just relax and let these moments pass. For some people, that realization can bring happiness.
Well, that sounds nice in the abstract, but I can relax when I notice that I'm worked up on something.
I understand the philosophical point you're making, but it's an abstract, philosophical, existential stress that you're talking about, not everyday stress. Simply the non-enlightened state of mind, caring about distinctions etc.
And then you go on explaining how you can't rationalize yourself out of that state-of-mind. That's true. When you want to relax you step back. You don't "engineer disturbances" or whatever. You step back and calm down. You breathe, you shake off the ballast etc.
> So, in order to fully relax, one has to engineer disturbances that are less stressful than the stress you are trying to eliminate, and to modify your approach as you go.
It also gets complicated because there are feedback loops in the system. Manipulating one thing, brings up another thing to deal with etc...
I think you're trapping yourself in your own traps. Relaxation isn't an intellectual thing like that. You don't need to think through all the small-scale biology of muscle contractions to walk, either.
It depends of course what kind of "relax" we are talking about. Do you mean getting rid of anxiety? Where you can worry about the fact that you worry? Sure those are tougher nuts to solve just mentally. You often need external things for that, like exercise, therapy, medication etc.
But I often feel worked up on some issue to the point of faster heartbeat etc, and then I feel like "hey, let's not get worked up so much" and then my heart slows down again. People are often advised to "count to 10" in such cases. This monotony looks a bit like meditation-chants. Perhaps it's a kind of mini-meditation, I don't know.
One thing I know is that trying to engineer it, thinking with that usual nerdish attitude doesn't help (at least me). Relaxation is an action, it's not a logical mathematical derivation.
Exactly. It's not a way to relax, it's more like spinning your wheels in place and having the engine overheat from all the wheel spinning. You just feel worse and worse the longer you stay in that state.
Yeah, you've got a good point. I've been trying to focus on stressing less recently especially over my job.
I'm just a super type-A, "wanna make an impact" kinda guy and I know this sounds dumb but I feel like I'm letting mental weakness "win" if I don't tough it out. Just writing it out, I know it sounds nonsensical.
I guess I just want to make sure things are good and thoroughly fucked before I bail, you know? ha
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