I love dense urban areas, but I'm not sure I buy the human connection angle. I've never felt so alone when living in cities. Something about constantly being surrounded by people makes you less likely to want to get to know them.
Now that I live a bit more rural, I've found myself much more likely to get to know people. It helps that things aren't always busy or packed, and I can linger a bit more and have more pleasant conversations.
A lot of people in cities barely know their neighbors. Living rural you'll likely be part of a community where everyone knows everyone. I'm seven years in and going to town the other day took an extra hour just because I was chatting with people I ran into. In a city you are more anonymous.
I've had more social interaction thrust upon me living in a rural community than I have ever been subject to while living in a city. You can't avoid it out in the country due to the fact your neighbours will incessantly invite you to events they are hosting, drop by to see how things are going, ask if you need a hand the second they see you working on something outside, etc.
Given a smaller total number of people, the number you have meaningful interactions with on a day to day basis actually winds up being higher since each person isn't just another 2 - 5 minute encounter but someone that you see regularly, who likely lives nearby, who knows other people that you've met, and frequents the same locations. It's a tighter knit.
You also don't have the luxury of choosing the people that you establish a rapport with, whereas living in a large centre I could easily pick and choose the people I associate with based on how much they agree with my views and opinions. I may not agree with the people I know now 100% of the time but we make it work, being polite and reasonable seems to come with the territory.
Really couldnt disagree more. You will meet just as many interesting people in cities. The only difference between urban and rural areas is what generally makes people interesting I think.
This is because more and more people are moving to cities.
When you are in a city, you have everything at your fingertips. You don't like your current friends? No problem, 1 million people live here, I can find more.
When you are in a rural area, you live in a town of 1,000 people, you know everyone and everyone knows you. You can't be alone. You can't go out and find new friends. You can't find a new plumber or electrician - there's only one of each in town.
Rural areas have much more connectiveness, but not urban areas. There are so many people, I really don't care about the people who live 2 doors down. In a rural community, you do.
Of course, not all people in rural or urban areas are like this, but generally yeah.
I remember one time, after living only in a large city for 2 years and never leaving it, I went to a rural area and went for a walk along this street. Some dude was walking the other way. He smiled at me and said "Hello." My immediate reaction was, "What do you want? I don't have any money to give you." That was my automatic thought. I knew he wasn't a panhandler, that is a city thing, and the rural area I went to was upper middle class rural area. But that was my first thought. "Why are you talking to me, what do you want, I have no money to give you."
It makes me wonder then if there's scientific proof if people who live and work in dense urban metros like NYC are less lonely compared to those in suburban or rural areas i.e. most people are walking, taking public transit, almost constantly surrounded by people and crowds.
Rural neighbors all feel the real possibility that they can feel lonely, so they all reach out to each other.
City people have too many people to please, so the relationships aren't very strong... No one is comfortable being themselves, the relationships start to feel fake. Everyone ends up feeling lonely.
I'm not saying there's no utility in society having large cities. Both sides have plusses and minuses, which is why people move to rural and vice versa.
Depends on the apartments, depends on the rural community, I'm sure.
Most places I've lived, I've made an effort to get to know people, and I'd trust them to pick up my mail, I'd feel like I could pull together with them.
But, I've always lived in medium-to-large cities, and mostly in apartments, so from my perspective, this image of cities-as-isolating-rural-as-friendly seems more like a sentimental anti-city caricature than anything matching reality.
I think the important distinction there is between rural and suburban.
I grew up in a rural small town and now live in NYC... I love my neighborhood in the city for how extremely walkable it is, the breadth of diversity in people, food, opportunities etc. However I do often miss, for example, going for aimless drives with no traffic or stoplights, finding solitude on a dirt road 5 minutes from home with not a house or person in sight, hiking, camping, shooting and snowmobiling essentially right outside the door.
In the burbs I still get the same kind of 'trapped' feeling I'll sometimes get in the city, but without the benefits of living in a dense city: endless things to do, many friends within walking distance, and tons of places to share a drink or meal with them.
I have found that the suburbs are far friendlier than cities. In the suburbs, I knew a lots of my neighbors, and making friends was very easy. In the city, nobody talks to anybody. City people are just unfriendly or theyre sick of other people or something
> Four-in-ten rural residents say they know all or most of their neighbors; the shares are smaller among those living in urban (24%) and suburban (28%) areas.
Oddly, I find much more community engagement in rural areas. While cities often feel more isolating,even with more people. In a city, people are always there, a nusiance or a boon. But in rural areas, human contact has a higher value, and is often treated as such. Just my observations from living all over the US.
I took that part of my comment out, I thought it wasn't relevant. But since we're here: I am unlikely to meet people like myself (or those who I would friend) in an urban core. More likely, I will end up friends with people I work with remotely or the parents of my kids' friends. And quite honestly, on a Friday or Saturday night, I'd rather be working on my workbench on a project alone after the kids are asleep.
I prefer to take my chances in a rural area, and having to bootstrap community, versus tolerating an urban lifestyle.
Moving to a rural area is even worse. In principle I can maintain friendships with people separated by any distance from me, but there's no substitute for being in a highly populated area in terms of making new friends. And the more highly populated the better.
The rural lifestyle you're describing has a much higher ecological impact than an urban lifestyle. And many people now, myself included, prefer a lively city where I meet and see lots of people, rather than the isolation of rural life.
How is it a signature of urban environments? I moved from the countryside to a city a few months ago and have already made more friends than I did in years in the country.
Urban living is more anonymous and alienating than rural living.
There are too many people in a city to form relationships with everyone, you don't know 99.9% of the people you see in daily life because there are so many moving around. On the other hand in a small village, most times you see another person it's a repeated interaction and you have met that person before.
So the rural conservative view and values on social interaction is more based on repeated interactions with people you already know, whereas the urban liberal has values and prefers systems that work well with anonymous people; the government needs to step in to help people in need (because their neighbours won't).
Now that I live a bit more rural, I've found myself much more likely to get to know people. It helps that things aren't always busy or packed, and I can linger a bit more and have more pleasant conversations.
YMMV.
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