I don't want kids because it means I'm legally tied to a woman who can take the majority of my income. The bias against men in the court system is a huge turn off.
Not to mention that there is no shortage of people who want to give you parenting advice, especially in schools. I deal with enough politics at work. The last thing I want is to double my burden.
I consider the "child neglest" laws to be a major consideration against having children, ever.
Unfortunately, they seem to spawn here and there like a plague.
Obviously I don’t know you and my advice might be off, but maybe it will help. I am also male - but I know several women who were at your situation, and opted to go at it alone (through a sperm donation) or with a non married partner (like being divorced from day zero), and are very happy about this decision.
You really want children, and I think that you will regret it very much if you don’t have them. You also want love - but that’s not something that is so easy to find with so much pressure involved.
Of course it’s not ideal - but life never is. So go make these children. You have all of life to find love.
I can afford children but swore to never have them nor marry, for the following reasons:
* Life is a hellhole. My children must witness my (and my hypothetical spouse's) deaths; witnessing death is a fucking hellish experience, I motherfucking do not desire to force that experience on anyone let alone my children.
* The world will continue. The Earth has spun and travelled around the Sun for time immemorial and will continue to do so regardless of any decisions I make. My existence and any existences I might create are utterly and absolutely pointless in the grand scale of the universe.
* The human world (in contrast with the world at large) is a fucking hellhole. I have absolutely no desire to bring new life into this human world and tell them, with a straight face: "Welcome! This is hell I brought you into. You will suffer many tragedies, you will be wronged so many times you won't bother keeping count. No, I can't help you. Have fun." What the hell am I, a sadist?
* I have many other activities, dreams, and goals I wish to accomplish that do not and perhaps even run completely counter to having children. Life is short: I only have so many hours left and none I can or will spare for offspring.
* I find the idea of compromising my life with a spouse to be a violation of fundamental human rights. Who am I to demand my spouse to bow to my wishes? Who is my spouse for them to demand I bow to their wishes? The answer is noone: I and any hypothetical spouse are noone. All men are born equal, with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Thusly, I swore to never marry and (also consequently) never have children. I am far too busy with my own life, kindly and sincerely please fuck off.
So yes, I can afford children. Many children. No, I won't have children. I can't wait until I am automagically ejected from the marriage market I never even wanted to be a part of.
32 male here. I actually love kids but my partner and I decided it’s not a good time and if we do want kids we should adopt. There’s still plenty of kids still without parents...
I'm surprised there's so many men that genuinely want kids. I've never had that desire, I know it's more commonplace in women. Most of my friends who have them were basically doing it for the wife even though they loved their kids when they appeared on the scene. But it was not something they would have chosen.
But anyway good for them. I'm glad I never had any and I have no regrets.
Not married? What you do with your body is kind of the whole deal there, never mind just having kids. Yet the decision about kids is very, very one-sided.
Not sure why you're downvoted. I suppose you're not contributing too much to the conversation, and it seems a little sarcastic (or something), but i often feel not having kids is a forgotten option. My SO and I chose long ago not to have kids (independently, fwiw), and people often look at us like we have two heads (.. each, heh).
Back in the day I discussed the no-child option with my wife. We are both cool with it, but neither of us really stood a firm ground so we eventually gave birth to my son. It has been a mixed experience and I totally get why people don't want kid(s).
I usually have an open mind to other people's personal choices. I rarely judge other people's personal choices. This is probably one of my few good qualities.
These arguments are not mutually exclusive. It's expensive, it's risky in general (health issues etc.), it's risky for the mother (can be left alone with the child), it's risky for the father (can be left alone and be forced to pay a lot of money each month), it takes time, it takes energy.
But before all this happens, you need to have the intention to have a child. Most males wouldn't think about having a child if they're not in a stable relationship. And if all your needs are satisfied, why even bother?
Sounds like extra work and and an unwanted nuisance to my life of leisure. Plus I love alone time, I could never live with a woman long enough to breed with her.
Whenever I walk in public, all I can think is jeez ... there are so many random people. Seems like we need better planning. People just have kids on whim, to satisfy themselves, like a life goal. It doesn't make much sense to me. I think mostly ladies want children.
Please don't strawman me by suggesting that I'm saying only married people have children. The article also talks about the lack of desire to have children due to the desire for independence, and talks about how it's also a factor in the lack of desire for marriage.
The courts are heavily biased towards women, and even the general public looks down upon a man alone with children.
I’ve spent time with a girlfriends kids and taken them out, got some nasty looks. Extremely unnerving.
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