Tipping is governed by two separate races to the bottom:
* Buying social prestige amongst your group by showing generosity.
* Buying better service by showing generosity.
Both these result in motivation in favor of tipping more and against tipping less. Both of these require your tips to be above average, and not everyone can be above average.
What makes it somewhat tricky is that tipping to show generosity is a type of virtue signalling. And virtue signalling generally doesn't work if you admit you are doing it for self serving reasons. Since the best liars believe their own lies, our brain is resistant to acknowledging that these are the true reasons behind tipping. It prefers to pick justifications that align with the virtue being signalled.
There’s no stigma around giving more tip than expected, and there is stigma around giving less. This asymmetry drives tips upwards over time.
You might tell your low tipping friend they’re being rude, driving the bottom end up, making average higher, meaning a really generous tip has to be even higher.
> I obviously can't state "I'm going to tip you 20%!" at the beginning of the service – I'd look like a deranged person.
When I’m at smaller restaurant where the staff doesn’t know me well, and want to signal “I’m going to tip you well!”, I’ll often get an expensive drink at the bar beforehand and massively overtip.
The staff obviously talks to each other, and in my non-scientific study, this fairly consistently results in a better service outcome.
I've started paying cash more at places that have tipping screens for what I consider to be a service that a tip is not required. For example the local donut shop has a tipping screen for them spending 1-2 minutes of time to get the donuts.
The point of tipping is to empower the customer and measure their satisfaction. Because the customer has a considerable portion of the bill at his discretion, staff are going to be focused on making his experience as enjoyable as possible. This is what the restaurant owner wants but couldn't feasibly accomplish through direct management.
I used to be very uncomfortable with this power over people's pay; who was I to determine how much money someone was worthy of? But it's not about that. It's about rewarding good service and having a good incentive structure. It's about making sure that the customer comes first.
In this day and age I imagine tipping is also good documentation for performance, should someone need to be fired. Otherwise, the owner might find himself on the wrong end of a bogus discrimination law suit.
I'm not trying to give a complete story (if you are interested in a more complete story, I do suggest the linked article), just context as to how/why norms around tipping can change.
I have to laugh at people who wring their hands over tipping at restaurants. The guilt and anxiety that the custom of tipping induces is kind of silly.
There's a simple calculus to tipping that some people just can't seem to stomach:
Tip based on the amount
they'll spit in your food.
That's what you're paying for. Clean food.
In general, the reality is that tips only improve service after a customer or group has been recognized as a good source of tips.
Tips are bribery, not commission. Once tips are recognized for what they are, the motives for all participants becomes clearer. If they're never going to see you again, a good tip is rendered meaningless.
The entire point of the tipping system is to have a high variance. The promise, but not guarantee, of tips is what is supposed to incentivize better service.
Good example. Perhaps they're trying to encourage you to tip in whole numbers, further away from your "mental anchor" than you would with a number like $8.99.
Maybe a $10 meal nets a carefree $2 tip whereas a $9.99 meal merits a meticulous $11.49 total in the customer's head.
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