Not going to solve any problems by getting stressed at them. Have to approach them with a level head and detachment or you end up with emotional outcomes.
> If the situation or problem is such that it can be remedied, then there is no need to worry about it. In other words, if there is a solution or a way out of the difficulty, you do not need to be overwhelmed by it. The appropriate action is to seek its solution. Then it is clearly more sensible to spend your energy focussing on the solution rather than worrying about the problem. Alternatively, if there is no solution, no possibility of resolution, then there is also no point in being worried about it, because you cannot do anything about it anyway.
This is all well and good, but what if you don't know there is a solution. Only "worrying"/thinking about it will you know if you can find one. And then the solution itself might be difficult to reach or people disagree with your solution etc leading to stress.
Don't take yourself so seriously if that creates anxiety and stress. If everyone around you expects you to be serious about it and that makes you feel uncomfortable in general, take that message from your brain seriously. It can become an everyday torture that takes you down to terrible places. People have praised and deride my solutions. Life goes on either way. I don't solve problems because I want to please people. I solve problems because I want to understand the causes and effects of everything. EVERYTHING! ;)
I used to get stressed listening. Now I just re-frame the problem to solve as "making the other person feel better" -- this way I don't feel the urge to offer solutions.
As engineers and problem solvers, we should know how to define the problem properly.
From my perspective, the best antidote is to always use logical, intellectual responses to problems, rather than an emotional response.
Let me guess: engineer?
There's absolutely a personality type that prefers to solve all problems with logic and clear thinking, which is a very good thing when you're dealing with engineering problems.
When you're dealing with people, though, that kind of response can be actively counterproductive. Anyone who's had a significant other "vent" and respond negatively when you try to turn to problem solving will probably recognize this dynamic.
Not all people and all problems are amenable to "logical" solutions.
Controlling negative emotions is a very good thing. But there are many ways to achieve that. Turning to rational problem solving is just one mental tool, but it's not fit for all occasions.
Or the "solution" is for people who have issues but don't want help fixing them not to vent to people who don't have the patience for that. Listening to woe -- especially woe stemming from problems with easy solutions -- is emotionally draining.
Like the GP said, it's a two-way street. Understand your friends and loved ones and compromise.
``So one way to solve X is precisely to not make a big deal of it, and remove the anxiety component.``
Weight gain? Cancer? School shootings? Climate Change? Air Pollution?
Worrying all about that bad stuff is counter-productive and causes stress which makes it worse...
With this genius method they all can be solved by removing the 'anxiety component'(also known as reality), therefore making the problem go away..eventually, you just need to stop caring about the problem!
In my experience, the best problem solving techniques begin with a discussion on the problem itself. If one side is unwilling to take the other side's grievances seriously, then no progress can be made.
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