I am sensitive to those kind of noises, so I tend to give more weight on the feedback of people like me. Took me some time also to understand that most people don't always realize noise sensitivity can vary much between people and their own experience and that their baseline is way off other's baseline.
I've noticed that my reaction to other people's noises differs significantly depending on the type of noise.
If my neighbor is renovating at 10pm because she's a single mom trying to flip a house while also working 2 jobs, I turn on a noise generator in solidarity. If that same neighbor starts listening to music with too much bass, my initial reaction is more negative until I realize I may be creating noise too when I'm yelling at video games or sports and she may not appreciate hearing that.
I believe a strong sense of community is the missing link in a lot of these stories. Understanding is typically a necessary step before acceptance, and most of us don't have the time or take the time to establish that understanding. The world is so busy these days, and our time so filled by all forms of electronics, the only time we run into each other anymore is if we happen to be working on our gardens at similar times.
Different people have different tolerance levels for such noise. I'd suggest you not presume that all people disturbed by such noise are 'over-sensitive whiners'.
An example. I can take a football (soccer ball) full in the face from 3 meters, without a complaint. It wasn't intentional. Shake it off.
I cannot concentrate with such noise in my periphery, particularly when the background is not "busy" with other activity. My nervous system wants, demands that I pay attention to it. Part of the... "heightened alertness" that serves me well, in other contexts. Perhaps also somewhat the result of a childhood in which such noises could proceed very traumatic events.
So... those of you with a "Why can't they just put up with it?" attitude: There are those of us who have tried -- often pushed too hard to view this as entirely our fault -- to do so. For years. Decades. It doesn't work for us.
Why should you then "put up with us"? Well, in my case, I tend to notice 3 or 4 times as much as many of my neighbors, and to relate it ("cross reference", whatever) to things they've long since forgotten, if they ever knew. In my case, at least, what you are "disturbing" is a very deep and full and "well-intentioned" attention. It takes all my concentration to perform this well.
This attention catches and fixes problems before they become "established policy", or "code", or whatever, depending upon context.
I don't care how you lead your life. Just don't presume that it gives you the right to infringe upon mine and my well-being. Don't assume that you understand my experience and motivations.
I would have adopted those rules without being told, but like I said I’m noise sensitive. It was loud, I couldn’t really think anything other than what I was hearing. So I just picked out what felt interesting and riffed on it.
At soms point I realized people who think noise sensitivity is ridiculous are always either old, partied a lot or are hard of hearing through other means.
Yeah, of course problems you don't have seem silly. At least, for the minimally empathetic.
I think this is an out-of-sight, out-of-mind kind of issue. They simply don't understand how their noise, which they do not perceive, can be so detrimental to others. Moreover, a lot of people simply can't grasp the difference good hardware or even just a different setup (moving away from noise sources like fans, open windows, appliances running, etc.) can impact the quality of their sound. Lastly, a lot of people either cannot or think they cannot do anything about it, so they dismiss others' concerns because "everyone else has problems too", equating their noise to be the same as others'.
Do you get much flak from others for your sensitivity to noise?
Some noises bother me a lot. Anything that's repetitive will annoy me to the point that I basically cannot function and get extremely angry, and it only takes a minute or two to get to that level. Sometimes sounds (and not necessarily loud ones) are physically uncomfortable.
I have similar issues with some textures (in food, clothing, etc.) and am very sensitive to smells (the cause nausea and headaches).
All my life I have been told I need to "get over" this, which I have certainly tried to do, but there seems to be only so much I can do about it. People who don't experience this level of sensitivity just think I'm being difficult and that I do this by choice. Frustrating.
"...when the sensations get too much we [can] turn them down..."
I can only speak for myself but a) realizing this and b) actually figuring out the real noise sources were a (first) breakthrough for me. Not too obvious to figure out when I think back some time.
So what did you mean by saying "I'm very sensitive to noise [but not noises of type X and Y]"? How does that not imply a general issue with obtrusive noises?
I've heard of plenty of people who don't have particular sensitivities to noise but find those two types of noise obtrusive.
YMMV. I can relate. When I'm stressed for various non-noise related reasons, I am more easily irritated by noises, and I usually, initially, assume it's the noise.
On the opposite note, I can perform extremely well in noisey environments if I am enjoying what I am doing - like I am able to just tune it out.
Circumstance and other stressors may be a main factor, or it could just be the noise. I imagine it really depends on the person.
It’s unfortunately a negative feedback loop at first. Hearing it causes you to stress about it, which makes it seem worse. That’s why stuff like white noise helps at first. But ultimately you need be comfortable with when you do hear it, which is the really hard part to come to terms with.
One thing I have noticed, about myself and others, is that people are more oblivious to noise and how much they generate when they are in a group. It seems that a group doing most things makes many think its just fine.
In a broader context, though, this happens all the time. You’d be surprised what people mishear in noisy conditions. (Or if they’re hard of hearing.) The only thing for it is to ask them to repeat back what they heard, when it matters.
It might be an interesting test to compare what people mishear with and without this kind of compensation.
I'm thankful for your comment and the original's author article, it helped me realize I'm not (utterly) mad.
Even though I haven't been completely deaf in a fairly long time (some form of congenital defect, sorta fixed, on and off, will get worse again), I still have a very hard time judging loudness. The way I do most things - even mindlessly simple like walking, grabbing a pen on a table or eating - I minimize sound as much as possible, like not/barely touching the floor with my heels.
I know it's kind of ridiculous to most people, but I'm also not sure the same people quite realize how continuously stressful it is to have little to no feedback from a sense you should normally be able to rely on.
These behaviors have become second nature for the most part, but I still feel like I'm letting down everybody when I do make noise, on the few occasions where I'm not mindful of my actions.
As a bit of an aside, I find it interesting that the loss of a sense generally seems to bring about a completely different level of introspection and self-awareness, not better or worse, just profoundly different (or I'm completely biased).
As someone with very high noise sensitivity - yes, please more focus on this topic. It's really tough to deal with and "just meditate" etc doesn't cut it as advice.
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