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The Naming of Cats

T. S. Eliot, 1939

  The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,
       It isn’t just one of your holiday games;
  You may think at first I’m as mad as a hatter
  When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.
  First of all, there’s the name that the family use daily,
       Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo, or James,
  Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey—
       All of them sensible everyday names.
  There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
       Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:
  Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter—
       But all of them sensible everyday names,
  But I tell you, a cat needs a name that’s particular,
       A name that’s peculiar, and more dignified,
  Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,
       Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?
  Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,
       Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat,
  Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum—
       Names that never belong to more than one cat.
  But above and beyond there’s still one name left over,
       And that is the name that you never will guess;
  The name that no human research can discover—
       But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.
  When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
       The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
  His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
       Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
            His ineffable effable
            Effanineffable
  Deep and inscrutable singular name.


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The Naming of Cats T. S. Eliot - 1888-1965

The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,

     It isn’t just one of your holiday games;
You may think at first I’m as mad as a hatter

When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.

First of all, there’s the name that the family use daily,

     Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo, or James,
Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey—

     All of them sensible everyday names.
There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,

     Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:
Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter—

     But all of them sensible everyday names,
But I tell you, a cat needs a name that’s particular,

     A name that’s peculiar, and more dignified,
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,

     Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?
Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,

     Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat,
Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum—

     Names that never belong to more than one cat.
But above and beyond there’s still one name left over,

     And that is the name that you never will guess;
The name that no human research can discover—

     But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.
When you notice a cat in profound meditation,

     The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation

     Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:

          His ineffable effable

          Effanineffable
Deep and inscrutable singular name.

But my cat's name is quizzical.

Unfortunately my cat thinks his name is "Cat" which leads to some obvious confusion :-D

That's how I grew up. We always called them "cat" or "kitty" and would get more specific as needed and based on how we felt about them at the moment. Anything from "the cute black one" to "that orange fool."

We were always told that no one really owns a cat, but we should take care of them all because it's good luck.


My mother occasionally uses the cat's name. The cat's name! We're both male, but still

I grew up in a house of at least a dozen cats. All had names. Our very first one, Lightning (who was seemingly very intelligent and lived to his late teens), did not know his name as Lightning. For all he knew, his name was Puss-Puss, because he had been called that a lot when he was younger, and responded extremely well to it throughout his life.

I always wondered where the name cat came from which the article doesn’t address. Any ideas?

Does anybody know which cat came before another though?

Numbers are best. Years are fine. Names are... Cute but Impractical.


if i could go back 6 months i would name my adopted shelter cats Calvin and Hobbes instead of Kendall and Shiv but alea iacta est and they are more needy than 16th century philosophical

Well, the two most difficult things with cats is how to name them, how to cache them, and the offset by one when counting the herd.

"Null" is such a great name for a cat.

*cats

If anyone ever asks me what to name their cat, I am now forevermore going to recommend the name "boxwood".

cats make great poets

I love this thread. My wife and I have 7 cats, and they range the gamut of smarts and emotional intelligence. But all know their names, and 4/7 will come when called by their name.

I once had a cat named Tom and one named Jerry... both female.

Heh I had a cat named Dog at one time (one named Rat also).

That's just crazy. What other large cat has more than one name in English? This one has... 5?!

Based on this book I named my Siamese cat Mau, after the feline incarnation of the sun god Ra. As a bonus, he was the only cat who could say his name.
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