I see what you mean, in that it could definitely have been a lot shorter and to the point. But it was satire, especially those first two sentences, to point out how silly he thinks it is to combine them. I think you may be taking it a tad too seriously.
If you want to write satire, you've got to get your context in the first paragraph, not the sixth. Nobody is going to wade through six paragraphs of scene-setting trying to figure out what the joke is.
Comedians desperate for any kind of hit, regardless of ideology. The author imagines this is "satire", but it's pretty ham-fisted.
The title is OK, though omitting "Graciously" would fit the notion of "Pretending to be a news article" better. The first sentence is pretty good.
It quickly goes off the rails. "89 hour Twitter marathon" isn't funny; it's just random. It's too long to seem realistic, so you're telling two jokes at once (one trying to tee up the actual joke of the article, the other one exaggerating).
Having Musk actually say "brain dead psychopath" is the wrong tone; it's negative where it should be positive. "The world needs another eccentric..." lands because it's positive, but the rest of the next sentence is just a rant.
It then gives up any pretense of actually being a news article and just rags on Trump.
It's not that I like Trump. Exactly the opposite. I'm just pointing out that "Trump is bad" isn't satire. Satire would be "Trump is good" in a way that makes it clear that he's actually bad.
The point being... who "disses both the left and the right?" A satirist who thinks that "dissing" is funny.
If you're after satire that really does do a better job on both sides, try theonion.com. Of course they're still leaning pretty heavily into the right, partly because that's their proclivity, but mostly because they've been fed so much good material.
But they're also hitting Cuomo, Senate Democrats, and Biden. That one is an especially good example:
That's spinning a negative thing (air strikes) as if it were positive. That hits you much harder than simply ranting at them. Similarly, the best piece against the right ("CDC Launches Ad Campaign Featuring Racist Mascot In Effort To Get More Conservatives Vaccinated") twists in the middle (i.e. not about the CDC or the vaccines at all). That's cleverness.
Er, sorry for the rant. You asked. There is a good bit of satire to be written about how Musk's twitter somehow fills a needed niche vacated by Trump, but that's not it. Maybe something more akin to "Area man complains, 'Elon Musk Twitter Feed Just Not As Good, But It Will Have To Do'".
I understand the satire, I just would rather see this in the comments of the original article. This feels more like a slap rather a thoughtful critique.
Is this satire? If not: You know, not that it would mean much anyway but it really doesn't count if you just delete all of the line breaks 'cause you're using a language that doesn't require them.
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