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As a woman, men who are focused on stuff like this (beyond basic physical and financial health) scare and repel me.


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Somehow this stuff is always aimed at men.

In what part of healthcare are men systemically impeded from involvement?

As a general rule, men are much more reluctant to get help with mental illnesses, largely as a direct result of toxic masculinity.

Some people take the primitive view that anything that helps women must hurt men. It makes me sad.

Why do you think that? As a man I think we are the victims of our culture where as a man you need to be tough and not reach for help or chat about things.

men face the exact same issues. It's akin to women complaining that they have to purchase gasoline in order to make it to work daily. So do men, why is that something the women are rallying around?

A scary amount of men just don't think of women as people.

Fentanyl, a male suicide crisis and a strong cultural taboo around male mental health, bad responses to COVID-19, poor medical system, and social attitudes strongly attack tackling health care issues for men as somehow oppressive to women. (Compare and contrast funding for prostate cancer and breast cancer in the USA).

What does this have to do with men?

I dont think that is reasonable expectation. Some issues affect men more - covid, substance abuse, suicide and general violence belonging in that category.

I do see men willing to change the status quo. They may not see exactly what needs to happen and their motives are different than those of women. But my ability to make it to the leaderboard as a woman in an overwhelmingly male forum tells you something about the men here too, not just about me.

Men are also fucked over by historical gender roles. It is not true that they get all the benefits and women pay the price. Men get maimed and killed by their well paid jobs. Men have a shorter average life expectancy. Most homeless people on the street are male in part because if you can't pull your weight as a man, society basically says fuck you.

The way forward is to start by acknowledging that fact and speaking to the need to improve the lives of both men and women. Simply being angry that women have less money and taking that anger out on men doesn't work.

I am not simply angry that I am poor. I am angry that I am willing to work for a living and the entire world makes that an uphill battle in a way it does not do to the men. I am angry at listening to people talk about what good people they are while either actively ignoring my pleas for help or actively being in my way.

Perhaps having a cow about that will get me banned or shunned or otherwise shut out of any hope of getting what I need from HN. But after 8.5 years, it is clear to me that being polite and patient isn't opening doors. So I am dead in the water anyway.

I get very frustrated when women try to support my position on HN. In most cases, they are only undermining 8.5 years of very hard won progress on my part.

When women make comments to me rife with their manhating personal baggage while positioning themselves as on my side, I feel both used and pissed on. It looks to me like I am being taken advantage of.

If you have such admiration for me, you can stop being part of my problem. You can follow me on twitter. You can email me. You can read my blog writing and promote my blog writing, sharing it socially. You can leave a tip or support my Patreon. And maybe in a couple of years you will have learned enough to be able to make useful productive comments on HN about solving gender parity instead of making comments that make me want to tear yours to pieces just to distance myself from the blatant misandry.

This is an overwhelmingly male forum. A lot of the men here are well heeled movers and shakers. Sharing your opinion that men are just assholes who don't want the status quo to change is a case of putting out the fire with gasoline. And it makes me extremely sympathetic to why so many men don't try harder.

Keep your day job. Don't try to pretend to be a diplomatic ambassador in the peace accords between the sexes. You aren't qualified.


Men are desperate. Women are scared.

Both are wildly unhealthy, and both are obsessed with comparing themselves to each other too. It's weird.


I’m sorry. I think the concern is that men’s issues can be hard to talk about. It does seem to me that many women have stronger networks.

It’s probably both, but I think the statistics are much worse for men.


These, by the way, are the experiences that make it difficult for men to have any empathy (even if they're open to it) with the actual experience of dealing with sexual health for women.

who have been taught not to ever speak about these issues (a taboo due to religious or social beliefs).

More basically, men simply won't know or the importance won't cross their mind, even if they do kind of know.

I do my best to leave informative comments on HN with details men are unlikely to know, such as this comment:

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=19594977

I will add that the high cost of feminine hygiene products is a problem for a lot of poor American women. It isn't covered by Food Stamps. Homeless services have limited quantities of such things. Etc.


I suspect that it is like with money: the lack of "interacting with women" may impair men's cognitive functioning much more severely.

I would chalk it up to problems in the narcissistic sector, that is, dangling an opportunity in front of a man is likely to make them feel "special" and otherwise experience an instability in self-image that makes them not think straight.

Supporting male vulnerability here is

https://www.yourmoney.com/investing/men-most-vulnerable-to-i... https://www.ftc.gov/system/files/documents/reports/mass-mark... https://www.chuckgallagher.com/2021/01/27/men-or-women/

in particular

https://www.aarp.org/money/scams-fraud/info-2017/whos-most-a...

"... fraud victims are far more likely than other investors to say that acquiring money is one of life's important achievements."


Then what are you saying? That men shouldn't rely on a woman to be the main provider? That men should inform themselves on nutrition? I genuinely don't understand what you're trying to say.

Why are men like this?
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