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Interesting! From my view the responder came off as attacking unnecessarily and very angry. Honestly not sure how else to relay it though. Maybe it's all just how I'm reading it. Have a great one!


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The problem is that he did respond, to tell the user that they were too uncivil to deserve a more helpful response. Not responding at all would've been completely understandable, for all the reasons you gave.

How do you perceive his reply as getting angry or lashing out? He’s completely correct, and you continue to avoid the question.

This reply seems overly aggressive; am I missing something?

I don't understand why you reacted so strongly. I feel like it's not a big deal to receive a message like that; what am I missing?

> I am responding to them with my thoughts

You're responding with your thoughts in ways that could seem calculated to inspire ire and to offend. Most folks don't consider that good-faith discussion.

I don't think you're doing it on purpose. But maybe you'll find more constructive responses if you more deeply consider the emotional charge of how you choose to put words together.


That's fair enough. I can see how the response starts significantly more aggressive than I meant it to be as a quick response.

How do you know that this was in response to you? Isn't it more likely that it was in response to another person?

An unnecessarily aggressive response, containing a bunch of things I've absolutely not said.

What were you responding to?

> what else was the point of the response?

some other public reaction/recognition for the OP, not for the benefit of the original sender.

emotional venting? that's sometimes its own reward.


I misremembered: you replied to the initial email and then stopped responding because (you explained much later in another conversation) my continued angry questions appeared to match the profile of a type of angry time-sink user.

trek: "I definitely feel your frustration. The tone of this topic is not in line with the civil level of discourse I'd like to maintain here, so I cannot respond."

Wow, could that response be any more passive aggressive?


I think OP could have found a better way to word it which wouldn’t seem so hostile and accusatory, if they spent another few seconds before clicking ‘reply’.

> Best response is to walk away or ignore.

I think this is a good take, but I'd suggest the best response is to address the human being that is addressing you and say "no thanks".


To be fair, your initial response was not particularly conducive to continuing the conversation. Why would they choose to respond to someone who is apparently antagonistic?

That seems really odd, they seem to take pride in responding to everyone, even if it's a nicely worded negative response.

Thank you!


> Do people find "?" as being aggressive?

I'm on the younger side for HN. In my social circles replying to something with either just '?' or just a leading '?' is pretty aggressive and rude.


Why would you start fighting and/or feel resentment if you received a reply like the "polite" example? Genuine question, I don't see the issue but I'm ready to learn.

I think both of those would be better than their actual response, which was accusatory and hostile.
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