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Can’t you just get a paternity test online? Otherwise that’s an insane situation, do they expect a dad to raise a kid that is not his?


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> do they expect a dad to raise a kid that is not his?

You just need a court order to do a paternity test, they're not banned but regulated by law.


If you’re not a willing participant, then you can still have the test. If you’re the type where if the kid isn’t your biological kid, then you wouldn’t want to be a father to them — then get a test.

The question is — should it be mandatory for all pregnancies? Willing participant or otherwise. I’m not saying no one should have paternity testing. It should certainly be available. I just don’t think you should mandate it.


Thankfully paternity tests are easy to conduct, even before birth. They should become standard imho.

That's an interesting idea, but a fair number of families don't want to do amniotic fluid testing. Paternity and maternity issues are pretty low incidence issues, but is VERY rough if it pops up with a 4 year old in the mix.

If you've got wrong dad in the picture, at birth is a good time to chase down the right father! Get him paying child support if needed. Non-bio dad could still decide to stay around if desired - but transparency / honesty on the table.


Yes! Especially several years later. Stupid shit happens, to all of us. And if the kid has 'adopted' the father, then for many years it will be outright traumatic to cut the relationship and trust if that kid just because if some test. Oh, not my DNA, then I don't love you? How narcissistic of a father would that be? Joseph of Nazareth would like to have a word, too...

No, there should be very good and compelling reasons to request a DNA test.


Paternity tests for every birth is a thing one has to mention up front as a position. Then those who'd be offended by it self-select out of one's dating pool.

Do you have kids?

I remember when my wife was pregnant with our first, I kept half-joking about getting a peace of mind paternity test.

After actually meeting the kid and getting to know our love her, I couldn't think of anything more devastating than finding out she's not mine.

Honestly wouldn't want to know, because losing my little girl would be worse than misallocating resources or whatever the Darwinian theory would be.


Why would they be illegal? Shouldn't men be able to know whether they are the biological fathers of their children?

That creates an interesting twist: since DNA test is legally acceptable as fatherhood proof the recipient could create a lot of trouble for the donor.

~7000 words TL;DR Get a paternity test. Not tech related.

Gifting someone a thing that could be used as a paternity test at a baby shower would be more than a little rude. And presumably if both parents have already done it why would you need to test the baby?

I am so sorry avout your experience.

This is something that really upsets me as a father to multiple children.

Is it even possible for a biological father to do this? I've been meaning to google but I'm afraid of seeing the results.

I always assumed this would be limited to step parents, but Im afraid the truth is darker than i thought possible


"paternity test" is a good start.

It said that the Dad had the child before meeting the Mom and didn't know about the child. The problems arose from the Data wanting to meet the child against the wishes of the family.

If it's not your kid biologically, and you're not a willing participant, it's not your responsibility. Pursue the biological parent for support. To do otherwise is equivalent to fraud.

We don't force foster kids on people without their informed consent. This is no different.

Edit: We agree to disagree. I fall firmly in the mandatory testing camp for accuracy of paternity for all involved parties. Trust but verify.


Paternity testing would force people to disclose to their kids if they had been adopted?

In the US this varies widely by state, My state requires non-married fathers to take additional legal action in signing an additional document declaring parentage before they are allowed on a birth certificate in the first place.

I seem to recall a reason along the lines of "to keep the peace in the families". Can't find that source.

But in practice, I expect a paternity test to come in an otherwise troubled relationship, so I don't know how often it happens that both parents would seek to get one.


> Assuming we're talking about a happy family with two eager parents, what is helped by investigating the child's genetic "paternity," when the father is right there holding the baby?

Because the real father did not get to enjoy his rights as a parent? Because the child did not get to enjoy their rights with their biological parent?

Seriously, paternity fraud has three victims: The unknowing father, the biological father and the child.

Asking to keep the crime secret because the perpetrator might get uncomfortable questions is not reasonable when their are multiple victims plus the potential for medical mishaps for one of the victims.

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