"Those who look for flings date more. Most men who date are looking for flings."
Most dates don't turn into anything serious, but I doubt most men who bother to date are looking for a "fling", your definition of "date" may just be overbroad.
Yeah, that's true. But there's a difference between typical dating and being upfront about what you want. Usually people look for "the spark" and all that when dating.
That’s mostly good for dating other men. For women it’s only the psychological benefit you get from it.
Anyway, if you’re dating a lot you’re failing. Should be taking advice from people who only had to go on one first date, they know how to pick winners.
For many men, the intention of dating is sex. They are willing, if they must, to perform romance along the way; but that is a compromise, not a goal. The romance may become genuine in practice, but that still doesn't make it an explicit goal.
This is the side-effect of a cultural narrative that pretends sex and romance to be one and the same.
I suppose I'm just optimizing for casting as large a net as possible. Hypothetically I'm looking for a long term partner, but casual dating is also a lot of fun. Of the dozen or so matches I might get in a week, only a couple end up turning into a date.
If you are having a date looking to have a long-time relationship, you want someone attractive. And if you are having a date looking to hook up, you want someone attractive. So it makes no difference at all.
Unless you are looking for a friend. But then "date" is not the word that I would use.
Not always. People find inventive ways of going on interesting dates. It will certainly put off those who are looking for someone who likes to spend money on them, but that’s an additional benefit.
If he doesn't know what the women he's interested in are interested in, i'd seriously question whether he's the person the people he's looking for, are looking for.
I think a large number of essentially useless dates bears this out
Well, that’s just like your opinion man. Some of the best dates I have been on have been dinner at home, picnic in a park or at the beach, hiking, etc. Just do not attract people looking to relationships to fill their financial needs.
If you want excitement, you'll get excitement.
If you want stability, you'll get stability.
If you want to confirm an opinion of yourself as undateable - guess what, that's what you'll get.
Most people say they want one thing but actually don't work towards that thing. They just pay it lip service.
In the logical sense it does, however typically the term "dating" connotes a commitment to the relationship that is a a bit deeper than simply going on a single date. I think it's the modern equivalent of "going steady".
Dating is just meeting people of your preferred gender (for possible romance) -- it doesn't have to be so serious. I used to go on dates with no hope of leading to anything more than friendship, and it was a lot of fun! Got me out of my comfort zone, and I did meet my partner through that. There's nothing depressing about meeting a lot of people in my opinion, on the contrary it made me enjoy life more!
Agreed. A date = two people spending some time getting to know each other to see if there is romantic (or sexual) compatibility. Don't need to read to far into it.
I think courting is the more accurate term in this case, but it would have been fine if he had said dating and a lot of people would have used that term. I think courting is probably viewed by some as an old fashioned term because we no longer insist on virginity before marriage as a primary means of birth control and disease control, so we have more latitude for establishing romantic relationships without necessarily planning to marry the person.
So these days you aren't necessarily trying to decide if you want to marry. In Edwardian times, that was more likely to be the goal of seeing someone: to try to establish a serious, committed relationship under the bonds of marriage.
Dating seems to be a broad term that can mean anything from casual hookups to courting for purposes of trying to marry. And the fact that it's broad has two positives to it: It gives the couple latitude to sort their own feelings without deciding ahead of time if this is a casual hookup or a serious courtship (or something in between) and, secondarily, it protects their privacy.
It protects their privacy by allowing them to communicate to others that "We are seeing each other romantically" while sidestepping questions like "How serious are you two?" or "What are your intentions?"
It also protects their privacy by declining to indicate if they just had dinner together or if they actually slept together. And it's not anyone's business in many cases, though people tend to be nosy.
Sometimes, a broad umbrella term that is not making such specifics clear is a feature, not a bug, of using it. But I agree that the broader term would have communicated something different in this case and the more specific term is the correct term for what he likely desired to communicate.
They did get married. Now that he is married, he has no need to obfuscate the fact that he wanted a serious relationship.
Date as in quick one night stand and even then claim is pushing it. It is not the first choice place of meeting guys, especially if you look for something more long term.
Anyway, the disbalance between amount of men and women there is quite large.
Most dates don't turn into anything serious, but I doubt most men who bother to date are looking for a "fling", your definition of "date" may just be overbroad.
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