Really? That's your minimal solution for awkwardness?
Ice-breakers should be fun or interesting conversation starters, they shouldn't be you calling attention to how awkward you are. Just learn follow the other person's cues. If you must do it, the excessive-honesty-in-order-to-elicit-sympathy tactic can be saved as a back up plan for when you make mistakes.
"With a growth mindset, every social interaction is an opportunity to improve. Saying something awkward is simply an indication that you need to put more effort into that area. It is not a sign of failure or a reflection of 'who I am'.
At no point does the OP ever suggest you try to "gamify" your interactions with people or "evaluate your performance". OP is simply suggesting that a person who self-perceives as awkward should instead reflect on circumstances in which they feel that way. OP suggests that one should separate their behavior/circumstances from their sense of self.
I would actually recommend dropping this line of questioning. It's perfectionist. And treating it as a problem that needs to be solved (in effect treating you as a problem to be solved) just puts extra scrutiny/attention/pressure on it that will make it worse. It's just a habit that you will grow out of naturally with more experience around people. And that will happen faster if you forgive yourself, accept yourself as you are, and accept each situation as it is and each person as they are. A lot of situations are inherently awkward, will be less than perfect, and will bear no resemblance to the snappy scripted dialog in TV/movies. Wishing things were different from how they are, is 9 times out of 10 where the problem itself comes from - in your case being in an awkward situation, and being hyper-aware that it's awkward. Younger children are awkward but don't know it, and most of them seem happy enough. Forget about it. Everybody is at some level of gracefulness. Is everybody "awkward" who isn't perfect? Even Olympic figure skaters probably stub their toes on their coffee-table legs.
The other thing to realize is that the awkwardness is an inward-looking and (to apply a sort of judgmental slant on it) ultimately kind of self-indulgent habit. People around you are probably just as nervous and awkward as you, and seeking signs that it's okay and safe to be themselves. What signals are you giving them? You could be a leader to them, showing them the way. Be curious about them, reach out and ask them how they're doing, take an interest in them and what they have to say. That's the best way to forget about you, i.e. literally lose your self-consciousness. If nothing else it will at least take the spotlight off of you for a few seconds while they talk, which might be a relief. But people really appreciate when you take an interest in them, and they also appreciate (this will sound a touch cynical) the opportunity to talk about themselves. You will be well-liked. Although in the long run just don't give too much slack to people who latch onto you as a "good listener" and never give you a chance to talk! They should be willing to let you talk sometimes. And by the same token you should be ready and willing to share about yourself, not just asking questions about others like an interrogator. But in general, start with asking about and caring about others; that's the foundation of every meaningful relationship anyway.
I don’t think it’s rude. It’s letting both parties save face. I imagine that brutal honesty could instantly kill the vibe and throw a person off their game for the evening.
Aside from that, some awkward starts can develop into interesting conversations. It pays to show a little patience and kindness. You don’t want to cut your losses too early.
A socially acceptable method would be to say something like “haha sorry I can be a bit socially awkward at times”. It’s relatable, true and explains your behaviour.
That's exactly the problem: assuming that the only valid reason to talk about an awkward situation is to convince the other person that they are wrong or change their behaviour.
We can talk about about awkward things, nobody has to convince anyone of anything. You can listen to the other person and just come to understand how they feel and why. You don't need to feel the same way, just have a better understanding of why they feel how they feel.
If more people did this the world would be a much better place. It'd accomplish a lot, I think.
Yeah a lot of us do it even if we find it awkward, because we feel it's better than seeming cold and smug. It's also kindof an invitation I guess for real talk in case the other party really has something ready to chew on with you.
It reminds me of the Dilbert where he's telling Catbert how he was confronted with passing someone he barely knows for the second time in a hallway, where he already gave the empty "hey how's it going" the first time not long before. Catbert asks what he did, he says he pulled the fire alarm, because he couldn't think of anything else ("I doubt Mrs. Manners will back you up on that one"). I feel that way sometimes too :)
Lean into that uneasiness. In addition to a nod, give them a long meaningful wink also. Then instead of an awkward accident, you have a fun puzzle for everyone think about for years afterward. Practice this at bars when you accidentally make eye contact with someone and be at peace with the beautiful chaos that will 100% ensue.
That works with a pair of highly-logical people, but for anyone else it would seem extremely offputting and awkward. Even when I go out of my way to not bullshit people, "sorry but I'm just not feeling this" without at least a reasonable conversation first (even just half an hour) would be tough.
Having said that, I still signed up. What do I have to lose - an hour on HN, and three bucks on coffee? If it's awkward it's awkward; everyone could do with getting better at handling awkward situations.
"Moral of the story: just do it. It will probably feel weird but you are the only person who will notice."
While this advice is, of course, true, it's also pretty common for introverts without a lot of social experience to not notice when they're making someone uncomfortable. So, starting conversations is a great way to get over the fear of them, ending them in a reasonable time frame is a great way to insure you aren't crossing the boundary into uncomfortable (for the other person...I know that the introvert is going to be uncomfortable throughout the exchange, as I'm an introvert myself, and so the cues that may be obvious to most folks aren't as obvious to an introvert...insert boiling frog analogy here).
In my experience people know what it is like to be stuck as "that guy" in such a situation, and they've all had to endure the Awkward Silence(tm), and they're cool with it. Let them toss you a lifeline - I find that directly exposing the awkwardness of the situation gets a few ironic laughs and also gives you the excuse to completely diverge from the previous conversation path.
Awkward Silences(tm) happen, people know they happen. The trick is that if you let it bother you, people around you will let it bother them (and their perception of you). The only solution is to barge right on through it as if you don't care.
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