I've heard of a few parents who have gone TV free but allow their kids phones, iPads and laptops for homework, etc. End result, they see less of their kids because they're all in their rooms watching streaming TV or videos.
Results may vary of course
Just an observation, I'm a parent of two toddlers and try to limit screen time as much as possible. But if we ever go to my in laws or relatives places they always have a TV blaring in the background. I try not to make a fuss about limiting TV or screen time when we're visiting but they do know my views on screen time.
They are completely fine giving iPads and allowing kids to watch YouTube for hours. I have no idea what it's effects are long term but their kids seem to be doing ok in school so far.
When I was a student, I definitely let my son watch too much television (now he has ADHD - not sure if they're related - but from studies it sounds like they're connected). It was a babysitting tool and I couldn't afford daycare in the evening as well when I had to study. Now, we have a nanny and our kids hardly watch tv at all. Our baby seems to be drawn to the iPad and iPhones and we're keeping these away from her. We're smarter and definitely not student 'poor' anymore and this has definitely affected how much tv our other kids watch.
I've got 4 kids. Our solution was all of the computers they use are just sitting in the middle of living room so anyone can see what they are watching.
Beyond that we only allow them to watch certain channels and the tablets only get used for long car trips, and only already installed shows.
I know a lot of families where parents discourage internet usage (one shared computer, time limits, use only with parent sitting next to you, etc) but have no problem with excessive TV. Glad to see someone is getting it right :).
You're going to get a lot of skewed results here, because a lot of parents aren't going to feel comfortable telling the truth: that almost all parents allow a reasonable amount of screen time to their kids, even if they know it's not the healthiest thing for them.
Personally, we have a four year old and an almost-two year old, and they're watching a Leapfrog show on the TV as we speak. We limit their access to screens, but realistically there are times when they're really useful.
We have a no ipad policy around our house. I have khan academy kids on my phone and i use this in the rare occasions my son really needs to be kept busy for a while. We even stopped tv entirely for a while. Made the house a much calmer place.
You see, screens are really great at capturing kids attention and it will give you a moment of peace, but you pay the price the moment you want to turn the tv off to leave the house/eat dinner.
The worst part of it is that screens allow you to be emotionally quite detached from each other.
I think the educational value of an ipad is also very much exagerated. Learning for young children is really a full body experience and i dont think an ipad is a value add until much later in life (possibly never).
That said, parenting is not something you figure out before you start really. Kids will grow, you will grow and the balance will constantly shift. The most important thing is giving your children plenty of thoughtful attention throughout life..
We've got a 5yr old and a 3yr old, and we have had a no-TV policy from day one. Our kids, of course, have seen TVs in restaurants and other people's homes, and they have even seen short videos (like a space shuttle launch) on our computer. Because it's not a routine part of their life (or even casually available to them), they don't even think to ask for it. They both have amazing imaginations and can entertain themselves even on long car rides. Instead of TV, we read books, color, play outside, go to the pool or park, build with LEGO - you know, the same stuff we did when we were kids.
My kid (6 yo) does fine without the video streaming. It's also good because it teaches her to practice writing. But she goes on rants on why people don't know how to spell "your" and "please".
We have to carefully monitor her screen time because online socializing is very addictive, especially for children. They can spend morning until midnight on their phones if you let them. On the plus side, it's a good way to train discipline - they can look at their phones after homework, a shower, cleaning the dishes, and only until 10 PM. Just sneak a new chore in there every month once they do the previous chores automatically.
We got rid of cable tv years ago and tv watching dropped off sharply after that. These days we barely turn it on, although the kids play XBox here and there. The iPads they have are a nuisance, though. We excised the worst demon, but Youtube has some pretty vapid crap, too. It's a process. I don't want to entirely cut them off because they do learn from it here and there. It's a tool, not a drug.
My 10yo and 6yo rarely get screen time and when they do it's for something productive and not mind numbing like gaming or Youtube. Every day that goes by with them being relatively screen-free is a win in my book. They get to be kids - lots of activity outside the house and lots of creativity inside, music, acting, painting. It's hard though as most of their classmates are screen zombies. I just don't understand how most parents don't see this so clearly.
The hardest thing for me has been young children begging, just begging, for screen time. It's heartbreaking and I know very few parents who have managed to make no mean no. I grew up watching TV but then, TV was mostly for adults and I only paid attention those few hours it was child-friendly. I spent almost the entire decade of the 90s without a television, only going to the movies or the occasional VHS. Even today, while I'm on my computer for 8 hours/5 days a week, I read books when I stop work or cook or just sit and talk. I turn off the screen, close the laptop and turn off wifi on my phone. I worry for the attention span our kids won't have.
When was the last time you let a child just get bored, so they might entertain themselves with their imagination?
On the other side, when we go out for walks or camping or away from tech, it really doesn't take long for the kids to adjust.
my plan is to not give them independent screen time until they have learned how to use it properly and are old enough to deal with unexpected things they might come across, also not sharing personal data, etc.
it also works as an excuse to spend more time with the children.
my wife and her family have a different attitude about this, so the kids do get some independent screen time to watch tv that is beyond my control. but they are not getting access to computers in our home without supervision.
the advantage is that i don't need to bother with parental controls that the kids might figure out how to circumvent (intentionally or not) and i get to teach them responsible behavior.
Good idea. Along similar lines, we are thinking the TV also goes to a room. I think the kids use the TV (which is exclusively YouTube these days?) more than us parents (Even the kids do not use the TV that much).
By default, minimum limits. I want them to build habit and willpower themselves so they don't indulge as adults like many of my friends did in college.
No limit on TV. But I remind them there's a cost. Sometimes we play outside and leave the TV watcher. Sometimes we go upstairs and play in the bedroom. The family has fun without devices, but if you want to watch the same movie again, it's up to you.
Phone has tougher limits. Screen time before 5 PM on a weekday, 6 on a weekend. The earlier you wake up, the more screen time you have. The TV rules still apply: if you're on your phone in your bed all day and we had an awesome breakfast together, it's your fault for missing out.
No devices before a shower. My kids all get showered by 8 AM now, without any fighting. We had a lot of arguing and dragging them to the bathroom before this rule.
If your homework isn't done, stricter phone restrictions, or TV only. Homework causes stress and TV is a great cure, so I think it's fine. Gaming causes stress though, so they have to watch out.
YouTube has a lot of great stuff. My eldest learned every flag and capital city all on her own from YouTube, by 8 years old. My 3 year old knows her alphabet, and the 1 year old can recognize letters and numbers. But it only works if you let them.
The real restrictions are on what they watch and now when.
Kids imitate things a lot. So they can pick up really bad habits from a lot of popular YouTubers like screaming and panicking. Or sometimes even Peppa Pig can be a bit too sassy.
Pay to win games are also a problem. They purposely build addiction and then charge you later. They tend to not sleep, eat, etc and quit the game feeling miserable. You still want to expose the kids to them a little so they build immunity to that crap, but keep a safety valve on.
Not the person you replied to and don't have kids yet, but with the current state of TV, I'd much rather let my child watch their entertainment on an old laptop (or tablet or whatever) that I control rather than a TV.
They can more easily watch with headphones, they can even watch in private if they're introverted, and I'd feel a lot better knowing they won't switch channels without my knowledge or watch adverts for stupid plastic trash.
We’re 1.5 (I’m the .5) with school-day daycare (absolutely no screens there).
I will cop to allowing him to watch a playlist of nature videos I’ve downloaded and watched through beforehand, on an old laptop, at times when I need to do something urgently without toddler assistance.
Otherwise, he can spend a good hour at the sink “washing” dishes with a trickle of water or attempting to sweep (ignoring his actual toys entirely!)
My husband grew up without a TV in the house in 70s-80s West Germany. His parents eventually got one, but it sits in a side room and is usually just turned on for the 8 o’clock news.
I asked my mother-in-law about this sacrifice on her part. Her answer? She didn’t think she’d have time to watch everything her kids were watching to make sure it was appropriate, so she took Alexander’s solution to that Gordian Knot - they simply sold their TV once their first child was a few months old.
My in-laws’ generation was glad to get enough to eat as children in postwar Germany; a TV was an unimaginable luxury until they were in their teens. She didn't feel like she was depriving her children of anything important.
My husband and his sister weren’t forbidden to watch TV at others’ houses, or to go to the movies. Neither of them ever wanted to buy one for themselves as teenagers or university students, and today, they both keep very quiet houses.
Result? They talk a lot when not sitting around reading. Guests at my in-laws are offered the contents of the decently-stocked magazine stand, a rotation of coffee table books, or if they’d like something from the bookshelves.
I grew up in a stereotypical American house with the TV on all the time, but started escaping it early to hole up in my room with a computer long before most people had internet access at home.
In some ways, I feel more at ease visiting my husband’s family than my own, despite a bit of a language barrier.
One might say there’s less of a lifestyle barrier.
My husband's family has much less money than my American relatives, so privilege has nothing to do with the fact that my German niece got her first dumbphone at 11, puts her school laptop away when her homework is finished and picks up one of her craft projects, and my American nephew has had his own iPad since he was 3, his own TV and AppleTV since he was about 6, and now a Roblox addiction.
The consume create dichotomy has worked for us. It’s interesting to see their reaction when I say ‘sure, you can use the iPad/computer, but no shows’
Sometimes it is whining and they go play outside or with toys because they don’t have the desire to use the screen for non-consumption, other times they play some games that have educational qualities or make digital art. Note: the TV is only for family movie night.
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