As a contrasting anecdote: I've got an otherwise satisfactory shared living setup right now, but the fact that I can hear everything -- and hear everything well, especially conversation in the kitchen, footfalls on the main staircase adjacent to one wall, and footfalls in the room above mine -- essentially means I'm unable to sleep when and for as long as I choose (and often not getting as much sleep as I need). It's pretty common for +30db impulses to find their way through my walls and ceiling.
My options for fixing this problem seem to be moving, invest in soundproofing for a property I don't own, or somehow get a significant behavior modification program to take sustained root among 9 other people (some under 8 years of age).
All of them suck, but I'm leaning toward the first one.
A lot of my friends who in their younger years held this position rapidly backpedaled after they added babies to their homes. There are very effective sound mitigation solutions available though, if you're willing and able to afford to remodel the room(s) you want to defend against such external sounds.
I interpret such actions as what to normally expect in a lower trust society and culture. We pay for such settings in many different ways.
I understand your problem with noise. I've had many people suggest that I use headphones or play music but I find that equally distracting. I learned something recently that might add some understanding to your problem. It's called Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), you can read about it at wikipedia:
If moving to a place without shared walls is not an option, you might want to shift your schedule a bit. Continue to work while they are not home and also work after they've gone to bed. Then it's very quiet.
I am always surprised people are so opinionated about open floor plans. Unless we are talking about sirens and crying babies, I can just ignore the background noise and keep working. Although I have been sharing a room with someone or another since I was 3 years old, so filtering out noise might to just a sanity mechanism at this point.
I did, but that was never enough: even 37dB ear muffs aren't enough to completely suppress the noise of a conversation happening nearby, but the ear muffs plus the walls and the door are.
And, of course, as others point out, the auditory distractions are only part of the problem with an open floor plan.
I should try the soundproofing. 10 years in and the kids still don't leave me alone, and the rebukes were taking a real toll on the relationship. I work part time in a coworking space which has helped a bit, but it's a real struggle.
I live in an old house with roommates that aren't on the same work / life schedule. They're considerate but moving around on old floors with thin walls makes noise. Keeping a box fan on when I go to sleep and leaving it on all night means that I can tune out the noise of them being normal humans before I fall asleep and when they wake up earlier than me.
Are there any solutions that can account for noise on a varied schedule?
I don't hear anyone around me but I only share one wall with another apartment and I'm on the top floor so no one above me. That said, noise leaks to and from the hallways.
In New Zealand our sound insulation requirements mean that every shared tenancy wall I've ever had has been almost impossible to hear the person next door. It doesn't seem to be prohibitively expensive to do, although it certainly helps that it's a regulation from the city councils rather than up to the developer.
> I don't necessarily want noise insulation within a dwelling, but I sure want it insulated from my neighbors.
For me, this would be the goal. Being able to hear the next room over for loud noises could be a safety issue, but hearing my neighbor has never been a positive. I can see zones of sounds inside a dwelling (e.g. kitchen - dining room - living room sound separated from bedrooms or office).
There’s sound dampening as a route. Have you tried ear plugs? It won’t block all frequencies, but might be a low investment, high return area. Or adding background noise? I’ve used brown noise before and it seemed to help. No idea how to help with the low frequencies though. At least, not that wouldn’t make your apartment/flat a problem to those around it.
Sleep is a fundamental need for everyone. For me, it’s migraines that I could say I need to focus on sleep to ameliorate. For you, it’s “the spectrum”. It’s really just being a living being that makes sleep fundamental.
Now imagine if they'd just put a tiny bit of soft white noise-ish ambience on low volume, and they might have had have a real, persistent hit on their hands.
(I have started using an air purifier next to the bed to mask noise in the house and it really helps my sleep).
This resonates (!?) with me. For 10 years or so noise from above was perhaps the single most annoying thing in my life. You can adapt to a continuous noise, but intermittent stomping ... oy vey. If I ever go back to apartment living, somehow ensuring this is not a problem (if you are just viewing it's hard to know whether pleasant quietness is temporary or permanent) is my number one priority.
Noise is such a small problem that I often forget that other people are living in the same building. Maybe it's a problem inherent with drywall because sound proofing requires an additional filler which costs money. I have always lived in buildings that use plaster.
Seriously though: It'd be great if apartments were better sound-proofed. My only gripe with apartment living was inadequate privacy and being woken up at 3 AM by a lead-footed upstairs resident.
Sounds like a way around this is to rig up some kind of high/low pitch directional sound system that prevents them from sleeping and goes through ear protectors. All you have to do is put it in the wall and set it to make its noise after a random duration between 5-100 mins has passed. If you added some accelerometer detection, it could even stop when it detects someone making any considerable noise near it. If they try to rip it out you can have them arrested for vandalism of private property.
Someone needs to invent something similar for sleeping. I would pay good money to have a completely silent sleep environment. Right now ear plugs are the best way, and not at all comfortable to sleep with.
Traffic, neighbors, construction - there's always something going on in a big city. Even having a detached house in the suburbs is not guarantee of a quiet night. Sleep interruption due to noise can have disproportionate impact later in life [0].
I had some ideas about a 'room within a room' spanning just the bed, and I couldn't find a good source of materials. Best bet would be to fill the whole thing with concrete and hope it's acoustically isolated from the building itself.
It's weird that you tolerate houses built to such a low standard that hearing through walls is a major problem solved only by doubling them and adding an air gap of a few feet...
My options for fixing this problem seem to be moving, invest in soundproofing for a property I don't own, or somehow get a significant behavior modification program to take sustained root among 9 other people (some under 8 years of age).
All of them suck, but I'm leaning toward the first one.
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