On the surface I have a cushty job. I've been wfh since March 2020, and since the company was acquired in 2021 I fell between the cracks, I basically do what I like, and nobody cares. I'm currently doing my own thing in the morning and evening and working about 4-5 hours in between, but not achieving anything. I don't believe in the (new) company's goals and I don't feel I'm using my talents in a useful way. So it's not great for my mental health, but gee, I'm going to miss the freedom unless I get really lucky.

http://www.paulgraham.com/boss.html

do what you can to not work for anyone but yourself. even if it means reducing the scope of what you can work on and earning less.

and the hardest thing of all: find people you like, respect and trust - and stick with them. loyalty and fidelity above all else.

yes this sounds weird, but to me sleepwalking through life, being constantly distracted and dealing with office politics is by far more weird. to each his own i guess.

If I was you I would do the following : - Take a short vacation. A change will help you think fresh. No matter what you decide to do with your life, take a vacation first.

- Quit your job. You certainly don't like the way things are, probably tired of being taken advantage of. Show your company the finger and see how things start falling in line. You will be surprised to see how they propose things getting better at your company. You may then decide to stay back.

You may also choose to go into Freelance/Consulting mode, but with a family to support that may be a bit hard.

A couple of days back I scolded my infant son. Naturally my parents defended my son so my sister and wife. This led to a useless debate with them and a huge fight with Wife. She said things which hurt me a lot and made me to change plan; from working my own things to move out of my country(Pakistan) to somewhere out so that I can just go away from them start a new career as a employee. I know it sounds weird but it's just I want to run away from my current environment which is not being helpful for me. I can't convince my family either about my ambitions because they will not get it either. My wife understands me but the last fight really put me off and gave me feeling that nobody is with me.

I really dont want to leave my country, specially for job purpose but I feel I need to because: 1) to make my family believe that I am not some useless freak 2)to earn more money.

Situations distracting me from being an entrepreneur to staying as a job guy. What should I do?

Do guide me.

Don't be a sucker and exchange your life for miserably earned money. Find something that works for you.

I don't take for granted what I have, I know it can easily go away at anytime, and that's why I fight to stay relevant and get better at my craft. I might not be able to do it at work but I have my own free time to learn all the new technologies, docker, ansible, aws , etc.

You need to find something else outside of work to make you happy, I think you have everything to make any man happy.

a good wife a kid on the way a good paying job health you live in a great country and you have freedom.

if you are not happy wait until you lose any of the above.

Happy 2015

Right now, I look up to you a lot, you had the balls to go on your own.

I don't have a solution to this, I can only let you know that you are not alone and I relate 100%. I would get a 9to5 job, save some money, and quit and travel for a while, find your passion. This is what I hope to do, hopefully soon

You got plenty of choices, luckily. None being escapist neither implying you having to back down as some of the answers here imply, though there were some valuable advices you were given. All choices and solutions basically revolve around not working at a corporation. Join a small company, go contracting / freelancing. They do imply short term discomfort, bear a certain level of risk, yet they yield great dividends.

I am 34yo, have worked 10 years in high demanding tech/finance companies (both startups and large companies) as a software engineer. For the most part, I didn’t enjoy the corporate world. My last stint is particularly grueling, I work 70 hours a week in a fire dumpster and am severely burned out.

Reflecting more deeply on my experience, the root of all issues is that I didn’t like any of my bosses, and I’ve had several. The feeling of being owned, constantly pushed and pressured to deliver for irrelevant deadlines, and having to take orders is just something not in my nature. I think it might be some sort of inherited trait. My father, who has been a very small solo entrepreneur his entire life, used to say “I had opportunities in the corporate world that would have made me 10x more successful, but I wouldn’t trade my independence for anything else in the world“. Growing up it felt incredibly silly to hear that, and I remember making fun of him for the "lost" opportunities, now I get it.

I am trying to understand what I can do in life to insulate myself from people who can control me and make me feel miserable. Having always had this goal of independence in mind, through luck and aggressive savings I amassed $3M in liquid net worth (nearly all in index funds, no TSLA here), and my spending is low, at $40k a year (excluding employer-subsidized healthcare).

I just need to figure out what to do next. I feel I still have value to bring to this world, but, having been a corporate soldier my whole life, I have become so conditioned to being just a highly functioning cog in a big machine, that I have no idea what I could do. If I close my eyes and dream, I see myself having a solo online business (not consultancy though) that I can conduct while living a slow-travel lifestyle around the world, staying in one or two places a year. However, I cannot think of a single business idea that I could pursue on my own, my skills are heavily specialized in backend development/SRE, and again I severely lack ideas.

No plan on ever having kids or getting married, and my partner is supportive of any decision I take.

If you can do it, get some savings together, or find a plan to do so. With those, spend a nice long stretch of time, six months to a year, away from the "working world" (not necessarily "work," but you want to have plenty of freedom and a minimum of scheduling and responsibility) so that you can return to sanity and sort out whatever bothers you about your life and plan how you want your life to feel - small things, big things, relationships, work, children, etc. Having the longer timespan is important because your own perceptions change gradually, and what you think you want now turns out to be illusory later.

Regardless of what specifically happens, what you think or do, what projects you start, whether you're well on the way to a new career or you have to take your old job again, by the end of the period of freedom, you'll have a better idea of what you're passionate about in life and can refocus around that.

I used Tim Ferris’s fear-setting principle, you can find it on YouTube. I evaluated the worst that can happen if I walk away from my job. I lose my income, and lose face with family and friends. In your case the loss of your hard-earned equity.

Then I computed my monthly expenses against my total savings. To see how long I can go without earning a dime. In your case you should include the amount you send to your mum as essential... Please don’t consider it a burden. For family and friends, they will all be fine in the long run. At least those that really care about you.

This steps will give you perspective on what will happen if you lose everything overnight.

That is on the most extreme end.

You are not trapped. You can take a break from day-to-day tasks, for a day or a week. You can speak to the other shareholder, of the need for a CEO, or someone or two people to handle the task you don’t like. Or they can only come to you for decisions that are extremely important.

If the business suffers as a result of any of these. That should be an acceptable price to pay. Please find a way to accept that.

Also please leave the house more often. I find that morning or evening walks are good for the mind. And some form of human interaction can improve your mood instantly. You can find opportunities to volunteer in non-tech endeavors, where you can interact with people that have a common goal and more positive outlook on life.

I hope this helps you. If you want to talk to anyone, you can reach me through my bio.

It will open your mind and give you life changing experiences. Stop working on some app...Go for something big. it will come to you

You need a break to re-evaluate. At least two weeks without work before you even bother trying to sort through important questions like who you are and what you want. Once you've relaxed, you can start to ask the heady, existential questions that it sounds like you've been putting off for a while.

Try asking for some extra vacation from your employers. If they won't give it to you, and you can afford it, ask for unpaid time off.

1. You had parents to move back with to cater for your Lodging and Boarding 2. I dunno what you are doing as your career after quitting your job 3. You are in America, where getting gigs is no biggie 4. You ARE an idiot for being depressed and contemplating suicide.

I had to make a similar decision myself, I am in a remote town, in a country where getting gigs is really difficult, I have mortgages to pay and lifestyle to manage (my lifestyle was quite lavish since I had a high paying job) I do not have my parents here with me to move back into, though a lot of people I know have suggested that I do and move back to a different country where living is cheaper. To add to that, I have had to take medications etc for my stress levels and am still consulting a couple of doctors. However, what surprises me is WHY SUICIDE, I mean if that is what I wanted, then my High Paying job was doing a good job of taking my life away.

If your friends tell you what an idiot you are, remember they are NOT really your friends, they want to feel better by comparing themselves to you and probably were jealous of your pay.

I have managed over a year and a half on my own, believe me this is not easy... However, now things have started to pick up, I am being approached by people and they want me to provide my services to them (mainly development)

I used the time that I had to learn, skill and re-skill myself, I was used to being a Manager, getting people to do things, i did mainly all the high level stuff, but now I am back to being a code monkey, nothing wrong with it, other than the fact that I cannot focus on that, but since my skills are good, I can manage to catch up in terms of deadlines, etc

The other piece of information that you have not posted is how old are you? That will also determine, what you call a HIGH Paying job. Let me say that I have given up a 100K type job and gone through hell, and hope that the journey is nearly over.

For anyone that is contemplating, you need to know a few things,

1. Do not quit your job on the pretext that you might just make it lucky 2. Have a plan, I did not have the luxury of a plan, had to do it for health reasons and other personal reasons. 3. Build contacts, spread the word about your work, it will take a year or two before you get to see results, the Economy is slow it is not just you or your luck 4. At every stage project professionalism, meet people and discuss your services as if you are a flourishing business, this will instill confidence in you and also keep your mind off depression and feelings of being a loser. After all the ONLY person that can really call you a loser is YOU what any body else says does not matter...

If it helps, take up something in the meanwhile that could be anything that gets you going, I felt that I needed to not take up such temp employment and went on hard with self development instead.

Hope you can take something from this and work towards something positive and make it...

I have been a victim of office politics and went through the same...

Tim, Vic

At 20 you're still trying to define yourself so social approval matter but these are the experiences in your life that cause you to retreat into your own mental cave to carve out and define who you've always been and exactly who you'll become.

You don't know what you need to know to be a successful freelancer. That's obvious by the fact that you went broke. Find other freelancers and ask them for their advice. Go back to school and get your high school degree. Learn about business and marketing. Take on a job, it doesn't have to pay great.

In short find yourself. Find what works. You're young and you haven't earned your freedom. Freedom comes with a price. Go pay the price for your freedom or sell your freedom for a price. The choice is yours, and it is a choice.

Regarding suicide. I've felt like that more times than I can count. Don't do it. It always turned out that suicidal thoughts were always huge indications that the idea of who I am needed to die. Meaning it was time for a massive change. Look for what you'd like to change about yourself and your life.

And...for christ's sake find some new friends! Preferably friends with a set of balls who aren't such sheep and are willing to take chances in life.