If SF was unattractive, it wouldn't cost $2,500-$3,000 to live in mediocre housing with 6 housemates.
Even people that don't have high paying tech jobs are lining up to pay these kinds of insane prices. They don't want to pay the prices, but it's worth it to live in an area like SF.
One of the only places on the planet in human history that people put this much energy and money into just living somewhere.
SF is one of the most expensive cities in the US. The very fact you live there means you're well off. People with the mean (or median) US wage, couldn't even fathom living within the city limits.
It's kind of like someone who lives in Beverley Hills saying "I make $500K per year, but I'm only middle class since I can't afford an average home in Beverley Hills". Well no shit, the homes there are tens of millions of dollars.
There is a disconnect: between people in SF, and people in most of the country who are paying less than a quarter of what SF residents pay for housing.
That's a big deal. Stop looking at the top-line number and exaggerating the lifestyle in your head. The costs here are insane. Someone earning $250k here is probably doing about as well, financially, as an engineer earning market-rate in any other part of the country.
SF has always been expensive. When I moved here, my grandfather who was an actuary for an insurance company (i.e. walking financial database) told me that back in the 1930s, they had to pay 2-3x salary for people based there due to the high cost of living. If you read old issues of the SF Chronicle, you'll find the same story repeated across generations.
The only time SF was every really cheap was during the 70s into the late 80s, which was due to a combination of white flight, the Loma Prieta earthquake, and the AIDS plague depopulating the city. Apart from that anomaly, it has been super pricey ever since the Gold Rush.
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