On a visit to the big city when I was a teenager, I held open a door at the entrance to an office building for a woman in her early 20s, as I had been taught to do by my very traditional parents. She shrieked at me that she could do it herself. I have been an anti-feminist since that moment.
If I decided to hate every class of people based on a single interaction with a random individual who may or may not even represent that class I'd hate everyone ever.
Sounds like you never really liked feminism in the first place and found an excuse to justify it later.
I don't hate anyone. I just don't support feminism because it creates bad manners and double standards. How is that hate?
Further, at the time this happened, I didn't even know what feminism was. I was around 16 years old. It was 1978 or so. After it happened, I did some investigating and discovered what might cause such a reaction. For me, it was plain that it was a philosophy based on false premises and as such worthy of rejection. I don't go about preaching my position, but I also certainly never even silently consent to the approbation of a false idea.
Here's the real kicker: tell me what feminism is, then we'll see if we agree it's a good thing or a bad thing. (Of course, the debate on what feminism is will never reach a conclusion, so we're unlikely to get to the second part.)
> I don't hate anyone. I just don't support feminism because it creates bad manners and double standards.
To be frank, I've had a similar experience before. I don't care if you're young or old, black or white, male or female. I'll generally hold the door for you, just like I tend to use "sir" or "ma'am." Nothing conspiratorial about it, but the only time I've had someone give me shit for being polite it's been that same kind of situation. College campus, feminist bullshit.
On the other hand, I don't care if bad-mannered people react negatively. I don't mind if it's because they just didn't receive an education or because they received an ideological one.
I'm old. I was raised to try to treat people politely as we pass each other on the roads of life. I'm not from the south (of the US), but I call people (even young people) "Sir", and "Ma'am".
I've been called out once for "ma'am" because she didn't want to think of herself as being old enough to be called such. (that's a fair beef). Twice because I mis-gendered somebody. Once I got yelled at for 5 minutes because I opened/closed the passenger-side car-door. On a date!
I support gender-equality, but it would also be super if we would just learn to be kind to one another, babies.
My habits and experience are the same. I have some sympathy for the young campus feminist, however. She has recently come to realize that some aspect of her every social interaction with men between the ages of 14 and 68 is "hmmm, I wonder what it would be like to engage in coitus with this young woman?" She hasn't yet realized, however, how best to use this fact to her advantage. So, it's easier for her just not to not have the "dude held a door for me" interaction.
> She has recently come to realize that some aspect of her every social interaction with men between the ages of 14 and 68 is "hmmm, I wonder what it would be like to engage in coitus with this young woman?"
Yeah, see, that's where that ideology falls flat on its ass. It's far from the truth and just promotes some kind of "gender warfare" bullshit.
You ever consider that maybe the woman who yelled at you was just having a bad day, or was just an asshole? You know, assholes come in all flavors. Name a group of people, and I guarantee you you'll find some assholes in that group, and you'll also find people who might occasionally act like assholes because they're having a bad day, or for some other reason that has nothing to do with you and nothing to do with the group they're part of.
I don't remember the exact phrasing, but it was along the lines of "I'm perfectly capable of opening the door myself. I don't need a man to do it for me." So yes, she was an asshole, obviously, for picking on 16-year-old country bumpkin me who was just trying to be polite, but it was also because of her ideology. And I'm sure every day she was bad for her. How could it not be when she was walking around looking for the myriad ways that men were trying to belittle her somehow? I have of course run into similar people since that time, and have observed that they are universally unhappy. But maybe that's just in my presence, when my mere existence oppresses them; quite possibly when no one like me is around, they have bright eyes full of laughter and joy. But I doubt it.
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