I don't think there's any good solution: even the current one took over a decade to negotiate. Any territorial changes are unlikely to remain nonviolent - united Ireland, hard border, independent NI, it's all very explosive.
> EU wants to keep their union, nobody bothers to ask the Irish
I don't think so, no. The Republic of Ireland is the EU in this case. Or part of it, in agreement and solidarity with the other parts. There are plenty of statements from the ROI's political leaders to this effect.
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