Are you are going to randomly have to park in a wedding lot? The only example you gave which might happen in the middle of a trip, the Tesla can handle just fine for long enough to pass control over to the driver.

> you can’t because you (the royal you) are three sheets to the wind plastered drunk.

It's still the driver's responsibility to drive sober. Even so, I'd far rather someone who is drunk be behind the wheel of a self driving car than otherwise.