Whilst furloughed from my job during lockdown, I found myself bouncing off the walls at home consistently enough to finally seek out the ADHD diagnosis I’ve always suspected.
I’m 29 years old, and one of my earliest memories is of my parents (lovingly) threatening to put an electric fence around my seat at the dinner table. I’d be up and down like a yo-yo after each mouthful.
For the last 5 years, “my friend” has been obtaining prescription pharmaceutical meds from the dark web to treat “his” symptoms. They’ve been life changing — one day of medication leads to more productive output than would ever be imaginable the rest of the week without them.
But they’re a double-edged sword. Like another commenter says, overdoing them leads to one feeling like a shell of their former self.
But at least you have something to show for it.
I put off my diagnosis for years, because I was afraid. I was terrified I would be told I didn’t have ADHD — at which point I would have no answers or excuses any more. If it’s not ADHD (that I know I can treat), then what the hell else is wrong with me? Or, worse, I feared I would be told that I was simply drug-seeking. I felt like I’d entered the Matrix — you take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland.
I’ve had 3 appointments with a psychiatrist so far, and, finally, my prescription begins next week.
If you seriously think you have ADHD, don’t make the same mistakes I did.
Life is too short to waste time fighting against yourself.
Just because you don't have "ADHD" doesn't mean you don't have a problem. If someone is hesitating for the same reason you were, they should seek help because there is something wrong, even if it's not what they thought.
> I put off my diagnosis for years, because I was afraid. I was terrified I would be told I didn’t have ADHD — at which point I would have no answers or excuses any more. If it’s not ADHD (that I know I can treat), then what the hell else is wrong with me?
This is an amazing thing to share. Reading some of the other replies in this thread from folks who are now motivated to seek help because they experience the same range of symptoms others are expressing, I bet your comment is going to have a direct and positive impact on someone's life.
It's not easy to share things like this and folks will definitely feel supported by you. Thank you.
> But they’re a double-edged sword. Like another commenter says, overdoing them leads to one feeling like a shell of their former self.
I firmly believe that self-medicating in the manner your friend did exposes you to a heightened risk of this sort of experience. As noted elsewhere, there are so many variables to consider with the various medications that it really does require a committed, serious doctor to collaborate with you during titration. My journey so far has been four different drugs, with seven different dosages, and 4 different timed release / instant release formulations.
> I’ve had 3 appointments with a psychiatrist so far, and, finally, my prescription begins next week.
This is really wonderful news. I've found that the process of ironing out the right medication can be a frustrating one, because my doctor is a careful and methodical person and my instinct is to say "hey let's skip from 18mg to 54mg". No advice, but sharing my story just in case you experience the same thing. I've found that it has gotten a lot better, and I was surprised by the different experience of the different medications.
It's remarkable the difference it makes for me. I have gotten more work done when needed to, have improved in my hobbies, conversations are much better, I stay focused on tasks...it's incredible the difference.
I got diagnosed at 29 also and had almost an identical experience to yours and the person above you. I often think of what a difference it would have made to know earlier (in so many ways).
>>Life is too short to waste time fighting against yourself
I’m 29 years old, and one of my earliest memories is of my parents (lovingly) threatening to put an electric fence around my seat at the dinner table. I’d be up and down like a yo-yo after each mouthful.
For the last 5 years, “my friend” has been obtaining prescription pharmaceutical meds from the dark web to treat “his” symptoms. They’ve been life changing — one day of medication leads to more productive output than would ever be imaginable the rest of the week without them.
But they’re a double-edged sword. Like another commenter says, overdoing them leads to one feeling like a shell of their former self.
But at least you have something to show for it.
I put off my diagnosis for years, because I was afraid. I was terrified I would be told I didn’t have ADHD — at which point I would have no answers or excuses any more. If it’s not ADHD (that I know I can treat), then what the hell else is wrong with me? Or, worse, I feared I would be told that I was simply drug-seeking. I felt like I’d entered the Matrix — you take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland.
I’ve had 3 appointments with a psychiatrist so far, and, finally, my prescription begins next week.
If you seriously think you have ADHD, don’t make the same mistakes I did.
Life is too short to waste time fighting against yourself.
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