This can be hard to do, especially at a place like Apple where you’ll often just get a basic idea of what you’ll be working on. And how are you supposed to judge your coworkers by the hour or so you spent with them in an interview?
For a PhD level position, she should have had a good idea of what she would be working on. The fact that her manager skipped her on-boarding meeting should have been a BIG red flag right at the beginning. I cannot imagine a corporate culture where that would be acceptable or even permitted.
None of that is a big deal or red flag. At a large intense company things come up, meetings get missed. New people will float around for awhile until there’s time to fit them in. It’s very much sink or swim and a test of how adaptable/self sufficient you are. People at those kinds of companies don’t have time for hand holding - it’s just how it is. If you can get hired by Apple there of plenty of less intense companies you’ll be able to work for.
Having worked for a Fortune 50 company, I can say that management at all levels considered on-boarding to be of critical importance, and would preempt other normal business. It was very important to make sure the new hire had a place to sit, a phone, and a computer as soon as they arrived. Meeting your new manager (as scheduled) is extremely important to a new hire. If the manager doesn't show, it makes a bad first impression on the new employee.
All of that being said, I will now relate that I NEVER attended the new hire orientation meeting at that company. I was on business travel and I never rescheduled it. It did not seem to matter much for me though as I stayed there for most of my career (35 years).
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