Having been on that edge and (luckily) not having the guts, I found that the moment when you can't give yourself the certainty to just do it is somehow even darker than contemplating it.
I hope you have that certainty in hope for a better future with you in it and that things are better for you now.
This is the point that nobody understands. It's HARD to do! The easy thing to do is let the momentum of living bring you to the next day. It's very difficult to over-ride instinct and cause life-threatening injury to oneself.
So I laugh when I hear "it takes more courage to live", or "they took the cowards way out".
Thank-you for your gentle words. To once again misquote (from a movie): "I'm not dead yet."
I hope you have that certainty in hope for a better future with you in it and that things are better for you now.
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