Yeah, you are in a rut. If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll stay there. You'll need to be honest with yourself about how much change you're willing to take on and at what pace. Or, you could just stay in your comfortable rut.
You want to switch jobs? You'll need to explain yourself and demonstrate some basic coding and thinking abilities to complete strangers. This sucks if you're all stressed out. Don't go banging your stressed-out head against leetcode trying to jump ship. Just try to improve your life right now. Start making tiny changes and decisions that get you ahead. You'll feel much better, and it'll put you in a better position to move on.
First thing I'd recommend is to get away from work. Like... stop spending time on work.
- Start being more efficient; get the stuff done quicker.
- Give yourself more time when estimating.
- Explain the work breakdown in order to raise questions about priority and scope. Work on the highest priority stuff; don't spend time on the other stuff.
- Engage with others. Ask for help. Identify people who can be a resource. E.g. if given 3 days to do task X, will you grind through it (higher stress) over 3 days, or will you schedule some time with someone you have a good relationship with who is better at it and can accelerate getting task X done (lower stress)?
Part of a manager's job is to literally help you do the above things. Use your manager to discuss these things.
The bad news is that you've already shown to everyone you work with that you're a workaholic. So you're gonna have to get creative in how you apply this. But you can do it, as long as you keep your performance up.
Next thing I'd recommend after being able to 1) step back from work 2) while still performing... is to get into other things for fun. You need to tap back into the good stuff. The stuff you enjoy and are interested in. Just spend time on that. Not what other people think is cool. Not for popularity (yeah, you mentioned those libraries on GitHub). But what you want to do. It could improve your life a lot. Just do what you want to do.
You want to switch jobs? You'll need to explain yourself and demonstrate some basic coding and thinking abilities to complete strangers. This sucks if you're all stressed out. Don't go banging your stressed-out head against leetcode trying to jump ship. Just try to improve your life right now. Start making tiny changes and decisions that get you ahead. You'll feel much better, and it'll put you in a better position to move on.
First thing I'd recommend is to get away from work. Like... stop spending time on work.
- Start being more efficient; get the stuff done quicker.
- Give yourself more time when estimating.
- Explain the work breakdown in order to raise questions about priority and scope. Work on the highest priority stuff; don't spend time on the other stuff.
- Engage with others. Ask for help. Identify people who can be a resource. E.g. if given 3 days to do task X, will you grind through it (higher stress) over 3 days, or will you schedule some time with someone you have a good relationship with who is better at it and can accelerate getting task X done (lower stress)?
Part of a manager's job is to literally help you do the above things. Use your manager to discuss these things.
The bad news is that you've already shown to everyone you work with that you're a workaholic. So you're gonna have to get creative in how you apply this. But you can do it, as long as you keep your performance up.
Next thing I'd recommend after being able to 1) step back from work 2) while still performing... is to get into other things for fun. You need to tap back into the good stuff. The stuff you enjoy and are interested in. Just spend time on that. Not what other people think is cool. Not for popularity (yeah, you mentioned those libraries on GitHub). But what you want to do. It could improve your life a lot. Just do what you want to do.
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