It can be done. I did it. In my mid 40s I developed a chronic illness that rendered me unable to work for a few years. It bankrupted me and sank my career before I found the right doctor and started rebuilding. I had to more or less start over from nothing.
The life I've had since then is not the one I thought I was going to have. For one thing, I have a lot less money than I thought I was going to have. My professional career went in a very different direction from what I expected. My hobbies changed drastically. My circle of friends changed, too.
Still, in many ways I think the life I have now is better than the one I was building before. I miss some things, but I'm happier with this one than the one I had before.
So don't give up. Your best days may well be ahead of you.
Get some professional help. It sounds like you're going to need to travel to do it, but try. A good therapist will teach you skills you can use to help yourself. Of course, it's then up to you to actually use them.
Until then, train your attention to focus on things that help you instead of things that hurt you. It's hard to change what you habitually think about, but it can be done. Our minds want to wander back to familiar thoughts, especially ones with a lot of emotional power, but you can persist. You can keep turning your attention to more constructive things, and it will gradually get easier to do. Just don't give up when it doesn't get instantly better. It takes time and persistence.
Telling yourself things like "I'm past my prime", "It's too late," "I let life pass me by" can't help you, but they can hurt you. So use your attention differently. Focus on what's in right front of you, not on what's behind you. Focus on what you can do, not on what you can't do. Measure your life by what you think is worth doing for its own sake, not by comparing yourself to imaginary outcomes.
Choose things to do that you respect, and do them because you respect them. Don't worry too much about the outcomes; those are mostly out of your hands, anyway. Just keep your attention on things that you respect and believe in.
When you do, sometimes what you do will help other people. Sometimes those people will want to return the favor. Sometimes those returned favors will turn into friendships. Sometimes your friends will help you.
It worked for me. It might work for you. I wish you the best of luck.
The life I've had since then is not the one I thought I was going to have. For one thing, I have a lot less money than I thought I was going to have. My professional career went in a very different direction from what I expected. My hobbies changed drastically. My circle of friends changed, too.
Still, in many ways I think the life I have now is better than the one I was building before. I miss some things, but I'm happier with this one than the one I had before.
So don't give up. Your best days may well be ahead of you.
Get some professional help. It sounds like you're going to need to travel to do it, but try. A good therapist will teach you skills you can use to help yourself. Of course, it's then up to you to actually use them.
Until then, train your attention to focus on things that help you instead of things that hurt you. It's hard to change what you habitually think about, but it can be done. Our minds want to wander back to familiar thoughts, especially ones with a lot of emotional power, but you can persist. You can keep turning your attention to more constructive things, and it will gradually get easier to do. Just don't give up when it doesn't get instantly better. It takes time and persistence.
Telling yourself things like "I'm past my prime", "It's too late," "I let life pass me by" can't help you, but they can hurt you. So use your attention differently. Focus on what's in right front of you, not on what's behind you. Focus on what you can do, not on what you can't do. Measure your life by what you think is worth doing for its own sake, not by comparing yourself to imaginary outcomes.
Choose things to do that you respect, and do them because you respect them. Don't worry too much about the outcomes; those are mostly out of your hands, anyway. Just keep your attention on things that you respect and believe in.
When you do, sometimes what you do will help other people. Sometimes those people will want to return the favor. Sometimes those returned favors will turn into friendships. Sometimes your friends will help you.
It worked for me. It might work for you. I wish you the best of luck.
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