People tend to speak and act very differently in pseudonymous online forums, with no skin in the game, than they ever would in "the real world", where we are constantly reminded of real relationships which our behavior puts at risk.
The only venues where I've witnessed someone being attacked for apologizing or admitting an error have been online.
People are more honest about how they feel online. They might not attack openly like that offline, but they do think those things.
So you see people who refuse to acknowledge their mistakes fail upwards while those who do admit are often pushed down. How often do you see high level politicians admitting their mistakes? They almost never do since those who did never got that far.
I don't think people are more honest about how they feel online. I think that the venue makes one feel differently.
Probably < 1% of the people in the peanut gallery have even met the person they're attacking. Without participating in online discussion forums, how many of them would even know who Ilya is, or bother attacking him?
Honestly, I think the "never apologize or admit an error" thing is memetic bullshit that is repeated mindlessly, and that few people really believe, if challenged, that it's harmful to admit an error; they're saying it because it's a popular thing to say online. I've posted the same thing too, in the past, but having given it some thought I don't really believe it myself.
I think the big disconnect here is that you are thinking about personal relationships and not less personal ones. You should admit guilt with friends and family to mend those relationships, but in a less personal space like a company the same rules doesn't apply the onlookers do not react positively to acknowledge of guilt.
Ilya should have sent that message to Sam Altman in private instead of public.
The only venues where I've witnessed someone being attacked for apologizing or admitting an error have been online.
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