There are not so terrible workarounds for all the things you mentioned. While Py3K does them better, they are still not reasons to update. As the article points out, there isn't a compelling reason other than slightly cleaner code. The community agrees as evidenced by the massive push back.
There are not so terrible workarounds for things like functions or variables in assembler. While C does them better, they are not reasons to update.
There are not so terrible workarounds for things like closures and memory management in C. While Python does them better, they are not reasons to update.
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