If you want to date women, earning a lot of money is not the right approach, nor will it actually solve your problem. In fact, trying to attract women by a display of wealth is one of the worst things you can do for yourself. Your problems with dating women come down to two things: (1) lack of confidence and (2) lack of understanding of what women want and how they feel.
It's a very deep and complicated topic so I can't explain to you everything you'll need to know in a forum post, but I can point you in the right direction. The resource that's been most helpful for me in the past year has been http://www.relationshiptalkforum.com
I recommend this website to every single guy I know, whether they're single or married.
I totally agree. Women only date me for my money. I know this bc my personality blows (I generalize women online and sum them up with mathematical equations). Hopefully one day I'll find the most beautiful and richest women to date who will be my soul mate
There are plenty of men with money that have a hard time attracting women. If you don't have the personality and (less important) physical traits women find attractive it's not going to happen.
The subtext I read from your life-decision making is "I'm lonely, and money = women, so I'm going to get money."
Money doesn't really equal women as much as A) If you're destitute, dating can be more difficult (but not impossible, lots of homeless people get married.) and B) If you have a lot of money you can pay other people a lot of money to have sex with you.
If this sounds like you, I would start descalating your career, your yuppie lifestyle and start escalating your pursuit of things that really interest you and finding connection with other people.
That's a loser's game. Sure, a ton of money will get you laid... with precisely the kind of women one should avoid in the first place. Money does not increase one's attractiveness per se, it only attracts scavengers commonly known as gold-diggers. Better use the money to improve oneself...
You seem to be a little naive when it comes to dating. Money by itself doesn't guarantee good partnership. There's also: personality, physical attractiveness, compatibility etc.
> I'm a rich startup guy in NYC and I can't get a date.
This is weird as long you got rich by your own startup/achievements. Then, you really need some help. As cheesy it may sounds you should get quickly some PUA resources and/or training. Getting laid and the SO is 70% about self-confidence and having state and 30% about tactics/getting reframed/brainwashed which you get from PUA's. Do this today. Every men should once get into this stuff.
Not when it comes to sexual attraction. Women are not sexually attracted to your wallet or social circle.
Sure high social status alone can help you land relationships but absent raw physical attraction, the foundation will be shaky. There is such a thing as a trophy wife / gold digger after all.
I make good money (being a reasonably able software dev), and though physically attracted to women, am not interested in them, and haven't been for over a decade now. I was somewhat successful in my youth, but certainly no cassanova.
I find chasing and/or engaging in romantic relationships with women costs me far more than I estimate their worth at (the relationship, not the women themselves). And I'm not just talking money. I'm talking time, freedom, responsibility, cognitive cycles, etc. I think my time is best spent elsewhere on hobbies or video games or mindless entertainment or work.
she's neither male nor rich so her advice is bogus.
there are some things that are just true - all other things being equal women prefer men with money.
Even when all other things are not quite equal women prefer men with money.
here's a quick way to test it - list all the men she's ever dated/been in a relationship with and check on how many earned significantly less than her and how many earned significantly more.
This is the worst advice anyone could ever give anyone interested in doing a start-up. It's typical woman advice - they don't tell you what works - just something that'll make you feel it's OK to be a loser.
> If someone earns so much money that they can pay 700 usd a month for this service, that basically means that they have figured life out and are successful and do not need to change.
No, that only means that they have enough disposable income to afford the service.
> Personality has also always been something the can be influenced by money. There is a reason why women would prefer rich "jerks" to poor nice guys.
The generalisation you make about women is really offensive, furthermore, you can not assume everyone favours income over personality in a partner.
In any case, dating, like a job hunt and many other aspects of our lives, comes down to weighting up your expectations against someone else's, if you're fine with attracting a partner because of your money, good for you.
Conversations about high income as a factor in attracting women often seem to neglect to mention that it's not enough to have a high income if you don't use it to signal wealth or to provide luxury experiences to women. Telling women you want to put your high income to work in enabling you to retire early but live a modest life and use that freedom to pursue creative pursuits doesn't have the same effect as taking them to the luxury apartment you rent or inviting them to join you on a romantic, paid for, tropical getaway.
another problem with dating is simply throwing money at the problem actually decreases the quality of the results!
it's easy to go out on tons of dates with gold-diggers, or the male equivalent, moocher deadbeats. unfortunately people get tired of both very quickly even though on paper it sounds like a lot of fun (dating exciting, interesting losers).
While this is certainly true to an extent (and I wouldn't say it's "money" that's important, but rather "financial stability"), the issue researchers have seen is that high-earning women in America simply will not "date down". These women have more than enough money for 2 people, but even so will not date men who earn less than themselves. The opposite is not the case: men earning the same don't have this same requirement of dating partners, and in fact usually date women who earn less, many times much less.
For whoever down-voted this: Finding a spouse is not specifically challenging due to having achieved your goals... it is, however, coloured by money. "Is she only dating me for my wealth?" is not something that occurs to someone who does not have wealth but has achieved their goals.
Having money is a pretty good heuristic for a lot of positive traits that women generally look for in a mate. It's pretty damn hard to buy a new luxury car with below-average intelligence, social skills, discipline, determination, etc.
And unfortunately unless you're a doctor, lawyer, or CEO, 'having nice things' is the only socially appropriate way to signal that.
I don't like it, but it works really well and sexual selection is what sells luxury cars in general, not advertising.
Not to mention, 'compatible value systems' are not necessary to bring a girl home after a first date and have some fun...
I think a lot of it has to do with the self-perception that as a man with significantly increased wealth, your pool of women who would be interested in you is vastly expanded.
But then you realize that the women aren't interested in 'you' but the wealth itself - which brings a whole different set of problems.
I am aware that if you are male and truly destitute, the odds of getting female companionship are pretty poor. But, in the aggregate, men tend to have more money than women. So, I don't think you need to be rich per se to stay in the game. You just need to be better off than the women you are interested in. That seems like a somewhat low bar to me.
I've come to the conclusion that if you strip things down to basic principles, a woman that is looking for a man with a nice income, is really no different than us looking for a girl with big tits or with an interest in a special that.
It's just some trait that she prefers in a partner. Every since I made this connection, I hold it less and less against women who want a man that makes a decent salary.
My gf in college broke up with me after a couple of years, and while she'll never admit it, I know it was because I wasn't on the the investment banker track or the like.
I used to have a chip on my shoulder about it, until I realized that she wanting that quality in me, was no different than the reasons I was madly in love with her.
There are definitely way too many people (men and women) who are just after money. One of the downsides of being rich is that those kind of people tend to sniff you out and come after whatever they can leech off of you.
Being poor, I don't have that problem. If someone likes me, I can be pretty sure they're not after my money.. because I don't have any.
That said, with or without money, relationships can start out good and turn sour for many reasons completely unrelated to money. When relationships start, we're often putting on our best face, and the people we're dating only see the positive side of us (and we of them). After a while, unless we have outstanding acting ability (and usually some kind of pathology which keeps us from being genuine with our loved ones), we start to show our true selves to each other.. and we (or they) might not like what we see.
That's when relationships can easily fall apart -- especially if both people aren't mature enough to recognize that most relationships require hard work to keep them going in the long run, and aren't committed to doing that work. Communication is especially important at this stage.
What am I doing wrong? How can I do better? What do I want out of this relationship? At a fundamental level, are we really compatible?
These are questions we have to ask ourselves and each other, but most people are really bad at communicating -- especially with people close to themselves, with people who they feel vulnerable to and who they don't want to hurt.... until they can't take it anymore and things blow up.. but by then it's usually too late to make amends.
So, yeah, if things are going wrong for you over and over, and if you or the people you're dating are falling in to recognizable patterns, you might want to start by asking yourself some tough questions.. perhaps with the help of a good therapist. Negative relationship patterns are one of the things a good therapist could really help you to break out of -- in more constructive ways than just giving up.
It's a very deep and complicated topic so I can't explain to you everything you'll need to know in a forum post, but I can point you in the right direction. The resource that's been most helpful for me in the past year has been http://www.relationshiptalkforum.com
I recommend this website to every single guy I know, whether they're single or married.
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