The subtext I read from your life-decision making is "I'm lonely, and money = women, so I'm going to get money."
Money doesn't really equal women as much as A) If you're destitute, dating can be more difficult (but not impossible, lots of homeless people get married.) and B) If you have a lot of money you can pay other people a lot of money to have sex with you.
If this sounds like you, I would start descalating your career, your yuppie lifestyle and start escalating your pursuit of things that really interest you and finding connection with other people.
I am aware that if you are male and truly destitute, the odds of getting female companionship are pretty poor. But, in the aggregate, men tend to have more money than women. So, I don't think you need to be rich per se to stay in the game. You just need to be better off than the women you are interested in. That seems like a somewhat low bar to me.
If you want to date women, earning a lot of money is not the right approach, nor will it actually solve your problem. In fact, trying to attract women by a display of wealth is one of the worst things you can do for yourself. Your problems with dating women come down to two things: (1) lack of confidence and (2) lack of understanding of what women want and how they feel.
It's a very deep and complicated topic so I can't explain to you everything you'll need to know in a forum post, but I can point you in the right direction. The resource that's been most helpful for me in the past year has been http://www.relationshiptalkforum.com
I recommend this website to every single guy I know, whether they're single or married.
That's a loser's game. Sure, a ton of money will get you laid... with precisely the kind of women one should avoid in the first place. Money does not increase one's attractiveness per se, it only attracts scavengers commonly known as gold-diggers. Better use the money to improve oneself...
> I'm a rich startup guy in NYC and I can't get a date.
This is weird as long you got rich by your own startup/achievements. Then, you really need some help. As cheesy it may sounds you should get quickly some PUA resources and/or training. Getting laid and the SO is 70% about self-confidence and having state and 30% about tactics/getting reframed/brainwashed which you get from PUA's. Do this today. Every men should once get into this stuff.
> Money is the only way to have relevance in this society, the only salvation from becoming invisible in the dating pool.
This depends on what bubble you are in. It might be true for most of the society, but there are many subcultures that have different values. Think about any job that is not associated with making money, or any hobby that does not require buying expensive stuff; you will probably find such people there.
Money is simply the "common language" of people who have nothing else in common. If you have nothing in common with someone, money is the most reliable way to impress them. But this is like the laziest strategy ever (well, except for the part where you make the money, that part may be pretty difficult). Step one, find a subculture focused on something you enjoy - now you have another way to be socially relevant. Step two... well, if the specific subculture happens to have more women than men (statistically should be true for about half of the subcultures), the step two is just to enjoy life and be nice to people around you.
I totally agree. Women only date me for my money. I know this bc my personality blows (I generalize women online and sum them up with mathematical equations). Hopefully one day I'll find the most beautiful and richest women to date who will be my soul mate
You seem to be a little naive when it comes to dating. Money by itself doesn't guarantee good partnership. There's also: personality, physical attractiveness, compatibility etc.
What's the point of being rich if you don't have someone to share it with? Money alone isn't going to make you feel successful or happy. If you think this girl might make you happy, I'd take her over the start up.
I made lots of money but always felt rejected/ignored by society. So I ended up lonely.
I was sold a dream that become financially well off and affluent and women will flock to you - it never happened!
I stayed a non smoker, non drinker because I consider these uncessary risks. I don't see any upside
Aced the classes, did good in sports but still become Mr. Noone.
But lately, I got into body building and started using steroids (I know they are harmful) but I've decided that with all the money - I don't wanna live a long life, just wanna be famous and be desired by opposite sex and if it comes at a price of dying after few years - it meets my risk profile.
So, yes validation, being desired and getting sexual opportunities and so people feel intimidated in my presence is all I want.
Money helps you buy expert supervision, time and quality drugs and outfits and also being able to afford a nice car all helps. But money can't directly help you buy the attraction.
I've been getting lots of attention lately from opposite sex since I've got Greek physique dialed in, so anyone who thinks it doesn't matter and all you need is money - I am just a millionaire, there are many like me. I don't want to become a huge man, I just do minimum required to build a physique that opposite sex finds attractive.
Which is the part that puzzles me. Successful guy, plenty of money. Get a high priced call girl, go on a sex site and get a woman who wants what you want. I mean I used to be in a band and it was easy to have a woman in nearly every city you could call when you feel lonely.
If he was after something deeper, hire a dating consultant and find something worthwhile.
It just amazes me that people who have both the means and ability to get what they want do foolish stuff like he's doing.
The reason you feel this way is because you’ve never been on the other side. Imagine reaching mid thirties, no more friends, no partner, no real prospects, and getting older is making it harder to attract quality females. Your only source of somewhat human interaction is writing on the internet. It is a life of quiet desperation. There is only one goal, to accumulate money, watch graphs go up and to the right. Money is the only way to have relevance in this society, the only salvation from becoming invisible in the dating pool. And I know money can’t really make you happy, but it’s the only thing that has truly taken care of me over the years. Would you really trade your life for this? You found someone thing good, hold onto it. It will all be over soon enough one day.
Don't women tend to go for the starving artist? But I think your more general point is sound. If you forsake money, you will need to find another signal of fitness, like power or being a great dancer.
I dare say imho the desire to get laid is a power motivator to get out of this situation... cool chicks like status (and it often come with the finance or at least exciting achievements)
I think the 100k means he doesn't really take it seriously, despite being a "rationalist" - he thinks he can buy a life partner for a relatively small sum and no effort.
He could do lots of things to meet women, beyond (also lazy) online dating - sports, classes, find a job where he meets them, volunteer, whatever. But that would take effort. Instead he wants to throw a sum that isn't particularly material to him at the problem. You get out what you put in.
I make good money (being a reasonably able software dev), and though physically attracted to women, am not interested in them, and haven't been for over a decade now. I was somewhat successful in my youth, but certainly no cassanova.
I find chasing and/or engaging in romantic relationships with women costs me far more than I estimate their worth at (the relationship, not the women themselves). And I'm not just talking money. I'm talking time, freedom, responsibility, cognitive cycles, etc. I think my time is best spent elsewhere on hobbies or video games or mindless entertainment or work.
Not that I care about your sex life, but given the recent shooting rampage in Santa Barbara, your timing is in poor taste. To start, she's a "woman", not a "hot girl", and she has more to her than her looks. Many people - men and women - prefer a relationship over the simple goal of having sex.
Launching a company is easy. It requires only money. You don't have to change anything about yourself, especially if you have extra money.
Establishing a close relationship with someone else is much harder. You can get really hurt, and money or luck may have little to do with your success.
If you just want sex, there are any number of professionals willing to help out in exchange for a fair market rate. Any successful entrepreneur should be able to travel to a place where that business is legal.
Money doesn't really equal women as much as A) If you're destitute, dating can be more difficult (but not impossible, lots of homeless people get married.) and B) If you have a lot of money you can pay other people a lot of money to have sex with you.
If this sounds like you, I would start descalating your career, your yuppie lifestyle and start escalating your pursuit of things that really interest you and finding connection with other people.
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