Yes, I get that a lot too, and it makes me more depressed. If you're someone who's in the process of extricating themselves from a religious upbringing, this isn't a fun thing to deal with in addition to "regular" mental health issues.
What is helping me is:
* removing toxic parts of my life as much as I can.
* proper diagnosis and medication (the revelation of a late ADHD-Inattentive diagnosis is life-changing)
* meditation (Kabat-Zinn style mindfulness, warning that in my experience not being treated or missing your meds for anxiety/depression may make this a frustration engine)
* forgiving myself for not being more proactive (the hardest one)
* focusing on getting my son out to play with other kids (helps meet people with the same time-schedules)
What doesn't help me:
* Not taking my meds.
* Making extravagant plans. (Big things are more intimidating and generate avoidance).
* Cursing the past. (Mistakes were made)
* Going to church. (Attending a ritual gathering as a nonbeliever can be an incredibly isolating experience.)
I second all the recommendations to seek a mental health professional and to connect with others as much as possible.
In today's world, fewer and fewer are interested in religion and don't see it as a practical solution for life's problems. But I've found what I believe to be truth that provides me with all the hope, peace, change, joy, and guidance that I need in my life (which has its fair share of problems in my early 40s).
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has that truth and the teachings that can bring you peace and explain the purpose of life. Two volumes of scripture--the Bible and the Book of Mormon--together explain the purpose of life and how to find God and his blessings. These teachings have brought me tremendously good things, helped me to change, and provided me with sustained peace amidst the chaos of life.
Yes, I certainly appreciate you downplaying the mental issues I've had to overcome. I've certainly had external intervention but I feel that you suggesting my recovery is simply "survivor bias" is diminishing my experience in favor of making yourself feel better.
Your problems-barring your physical issues-aren't unique; you need your community, you need hobbies, but you say "Been saying for ages I am gonna lay the story out here and hope for some miracle plan" as if someone else is going to tell you your story. How will your life be fixed unless you fix it?
And don't mistake my church suggestion for preaching religion. If your community has social events you could otherwise attend, go for it.
I identified with the person in the article, and what you described is how I pulled myself out of it. It was a mix somewhere between depression and existential despair. The notion of putting others first, kindness, and empathy is absolutely compatible with a secular lifestyle.
That said, I'd also encourage this person to seek therapy. Sometimes knowing the answer isn't enough and you need help getting there...perhaps with the benefit of medication.
I've been pretty open in that situations probably get exacerbated for me because I have a mental illness - anxiety, depression and adult ADD (I refuse to call it ADHD, I'm not hyperactive!). I manage these better now, but it still leaks into my life. I'm extremely lucky I have a supportive wife and two small children who keep my mind off things and let me focus on what's important :-)
That would be my advice. Find a church or other religious community that you can plug yourself into. Maybe get a dog too. If nothing else, it forces you to get out of bed in the morning.
I think a lot of us have been through depression or anxiety and at some point and felt the way you did. In my case several things help me get over my situation. The first thing is to try not to be alone. Surround yourself with people you love or that are positive and happy. Next was meditating in my situation compare to others who might be in a worse situation, for example with some type of chronical condition or having no food or place to live in. And finally being thankful to God for the good things you have in life for example health, a job to maintain a decent living, a family, a beautiful earth to live in and other things you might not notice that are a blessing to have. In other words having a spiritual need can bring happiness to ones life. A lot of the questions we think we don't have an answer to can all be found in the Bible. People think to look at the Bible just as a spiritual book but it also contains a lot of practical advice about dealing with anxieties and normal everyday problems. People all over the world have found happiness from reading and studying the Bible regardless of their emotional or physical situation. I hope you can get over your situation but know this, it is easier to deal with a problem when you know you have the most powerful being in the universe backing you up. Please take the time and browse this website when you get a chance jw.org and you can find the answer to the questiom you posted about why keep living?
I think a lot of us have been through depression or anxiety and at some point and felt the way you did. In my case several things help me get over my situation. The first thing is to try not to be alone. Surround yourself with people you love or that are positive and happy. Next was meditating in my situation compare to others who might be in a worse situation, for example with some type of chronical condition or having no food or place to live in. And finally being thankful to God for the good things you have in life for example health, a job to maintain a decent living, a family, a beautiful earth to live in and other things you might not notice that are a blessing to have. In other words having a spiritual need can bring happiness to ones life. A lot of the questions we think we don't have an answer to can all be found in the Bible. People think to look at the Bible just as a spiritual book but it also contains a lot of practical advice about dealing with anxieties and normal everyday problems. People all over the world have found happiness from reading and studying the Bible regardless of their emotional or physical situation. I hope you can get over your situation but know this, it is easier to deal with a problem when you know you have the most powerful being in the universe backing you up. Please take the time and browse this website when you get a chance jw.org and you can find the answer to the questiom you posted about why keep living?
I don’t know you so take this for what it’s worth:
One thing that has worked quite well for me is meditation. I use the Headspace app, and I like it.
Meditation is not a silver bullet, but for me it has been a net positive. It has definitely helped me to be a calmer person.
Seeing a therapist can also help sometimes. But it can be hard to find the right type of help. Is there any trustworthy medical center in your region? If you have the means to get help from them then you might want to try that. As 'Ensorceled pointed out, there could be an underlying psychiatric condition that affects you. But that is very hard to tell without further details and without the right competence, that’s why seeking care can be helpful. But the specifics of those possibilities will probably vary a lot depending on where you live.
Well the best thing to do is to seek some professional help. If you are a person of faith, then go to church or do your religious thing and work with the leaders there. If you are not, then at least find a good therapist or counselor to start working on things.
I have this handbook for a course I've taken a few times now. It's called WRAP - Wellness Action Recovery Plan. It's for anyone who may be hit with mental health setbacks at some time, and it helps you plan for future setbacks and recover from them, or even prevent them from getting worse in the first place.
It's very systematic and thorough; it helps you identify tools in your toolbox that help you, whether you are well or doing badly. It helps you catalog symptoms of doing worse or breaking down. It helps you establish a list of helpers and people to contact when you require outside help. Then it has steps and actions for picking up the pieces when everything is getting back to normal for you.
I highly recommend that everyone gets on board with a therapist or counselor, even just to work out some minor issues with relationships, your employment, or your outlook on life. You can definitely gain some indispensable tools to help you cope and even thrive like you never thought was possible.
lol. Trying to get around the rules by linking to a pastebin that contains a short link to your church I think will make you pretty unpopular.
Best approach would be for OP to consider therapy with a psychologist, after all it is a mental health issue, addiction, dependence etc, covering it up with an imaginary man in the sky isn't treating it. That is about as good as trying to "pray the gay away".
Yes, I get that a lot too, and it makes me more depressed. If you're someone who's in the process of extricating themselves from a religious upbringing, this isn't a fun thing to deal with in addition to "regular" mental health issues.
What is helping me is:
* removing toxic parts of my life as much as I can.
* proper diagnosis and medication (the revelation of a late ADHD-Inattentive diagnosis is life-changing)
* meditation (Kabat-Zinn style mindfulness, warning that in my experience not being treated or missing your meds for anxiety/depression may make this a frustration engine)
* forgiving myself for not being more proactive (the hardest one)
* focusing on getting my son out to play with other kids (helps meet people with the same time-schedules)
What doesn't help me:
* Not taking my meds.
* Making extravagant plans. (Big things are more intimidating and generate avoidance).
* Cursing the past. (Mistakes were made)
* Going to church. (Attending a ritual gathering as a nonbeliever can be an incredibly isolating experience.)
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