That would be my advice. Find a church or other religious community that you can plug yourself into. Maybe get a dog too. If nothing else, it forces you to get out of bed in the morning.
It usually takes work to get out of it. You will need to put in the effort.
I suggest you focus on making it your mission. Try therapy, try antidepressants, pay attention to your feelings throughout the day and notice patterns.
A partner, community, or dog often solves the problem for many people. But the first two are of course hard to obtain.
I don't know why nobody has brought this up yet... while you embark on the journey of finding a good therapist that you can work with, if you are not opposed to the idea, adopt a small pet, dog maybe. A pet has great potential to enrich your life in many ways while still giving you plenty of "me/alone" time. Hopefully that will help you ride out some rough patches without feeling too lonely. If you do go down that path, do your research before hand on what it entails to have a pet.
I hope things get better for you. The hardest part is taking that first step. I've been there and I know how hard it is to even get out of bed. It's cheesy, but what really helped me was listening to motivational tapes like Les Brown/Jim Rohn/Eric Thomas. I'd just go for a walk while listening to them and over time it got a little bit easier.
Aye, moving somewhere brighter -- also from the UK -- completely dealt with it for me. Getting a dog also helps a lot. I'm required by a sacred and ancient inter-species oath to be out of the house for a minimum amount of time every day.
Totally get that these two solutions may not be practical for OP, but it's helped me a load.
Standard mental health stuff also applies. Any form of exercise and keeping an eye on alcohol/whatever poison intake will help.
I second all the recommendations to seek a mental health professional and to connect with others as much as possible.
In today's world, fewer and fewer are interested in religion and don't see it as a practical solution for life's problems. But I've found what I believe to be truth that provides me with all the hope, peace, change, joy, and guidance that I need in my life (which has its fair share of problems in my early 40s).
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has that truth and the teachings that can bring you peace and explain the purpose of life. Two volumes of scripture--the Bible and the Book of Mormon--together explain the purpose of life and how to find God and his blessings. These teachings have brought me tremendously good things, helped me to change, and provided me with sustained peace amidst the chaos of life.
If you can disclose which country you're in, there may be support lines you can call for help. Can you get out of the house? Perhaps going for a walk, running, or going to the gym on a regular schedule might help some? Others may chime in on whether any of this is good advice. Going to bed now (it's way past my bedtime), but I'll shoot you an email when I get up. Hang in there, ok?
Yes, I get that a lot too, and it makes me more depressed. If you're someone who's in the process of extricating themselves from a religious upbringing, this isn't a fun thing to deal with in addition to "regular" mental health issues.
What is helping me is:
* removing toxic parts of my life as much as I can.
* proper diagnosis and medication (the revelation of a late ADHD-Inattentive diagnosis is life-changing)
* meditation (Kabat-Zinn style mindfulness, warning that in my experience not being treated or missing your meds for anxiety/depression may make this a frustration engine)
* forgiving myself for not being more proactive (the hardest one)
* focusing on getting my son out to play with other kids (helps meet people with the same time-schedules)
What doesn't help me:
* Not taking my meds.
* Making extravagant plans. (Big things are more intimidating and generate avoidance).
* Cursing the past. (Mistakes were made)
* Going to church. (Attending a ritual gathering as a nonbeliever can be an incredibly isolating experience.)
If, for some reason, you can't do that (money or time) talk to someone in the meat world. Find a good friend and lay it out there. Don't hint at it - say it. This is not a thing to be coy about.
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For me, joining a church has helped. Not because I found God or spiritual enlightenment, but because it's a community that doesn't care what I do for a living. They care about my wellbeing and how I am doing. They're always glad to see me no matter what shape I look like I'm in.
It's good to have at least one group of people that are glad to see you, no matter what six kinds of ass you look or feel like at the moment.
It's not easy to find a group of people like that. You might have to hunt around a bit.
If you're in Austin, I'll happily introduce you to them. Might be the right group, might not. That's up to you.
It's okay that your body is telling you some things that your brain won't hear. This is a survival mechanism and hopefully will spur you into a better place.
But you have to be willing to change. YMMV, but the first thing I would do is stop doing things that don't work. Change your environment and change the people you see.
Office life not your thing? Try construction or landscaping. Determined to stick it out? Make selfless service and love you primary values. Seek to hear and serve.
Psychologists can't help? Try talking to an older relative, religious leader, or try an altogether different kind of therapy.
Get involved in a group doing something. Anything. Play or coach a sport. Volunteer at your local homeless shelter. Get involved at a local church and help with parking, food pantries. Bake cookies for your neighbors and just show up and say hi. Don't escape with drugs, sex, video games, etc... and don't kill yourself with self-judgment with the plethora of readily available self-help productivity porn on YouTube either.
Lastly, you aren't alone, many people suffer this way, myself included.
There are a lot of different groups online dealing with this problem. Personally I've found a lot of help from the likes of John Verveake's Meaning Crisis and Johnathan Pageau's Symbolic World. It has helped me greatly to be able to see things that are bigger than you and be involved in them. It helps a lot.
You might want to seek some help. Unless you're just being dramatic here for effect, there are some red flags in your post such as not being able to get out of bed, being filled with self-loathing and despair, etc.
- If you have sappy depressing music playing all the time, turn it off. Mood is affected by music.
- Go for a walk.
- Don't drink alone.
- Go to church.
- Realize that there are things in your life that you can't change. And things that you can change. Accept the things you can't change. Change the things that you can change.
Yeah. I think many people go to therapy nowadays because they feel guilty for not enjoying their life as much as they think they should. Before people used to instead feel bad about being sinful.
I think what you need to do is fully accept your situation and do what you can to improve it. Look for a new job or have you considered doing a PhD? Learn new things, hang out with interesting people. Does your city have a hackspace? If so use the people there to amplify your creative drive. Working alone is less productive I find.
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