There are also a lot of institutions interested in making 22-year-olds feel brilliant in exchange for their creative output. Once you leave the institution or find yourself at a different place within it, you may lose some of this feeling—not because anything changed about you, but because of your changing relationship to the thing which was supporting your self-image.
Warning: Highly unapologetic comment. :) Though, I don't mean to be rude, truly; I've processed the same thoughts and endured the same uncertainty. This was just what I finally realized.
So, everyone seems to be acknowledging the fact that your mind isn't as sharp as it was (maybe I missed a comment).
Thing is, it's simple. No, don't acknowledge it. Sure, there are hardened synapses, but to a large extent that's just an excuse for people to feel sorry for themselves. O_O
So basically, just get over the fact that you think your brain's not an sharp as it was. It's a load of crap. It's still all there, and you need to just overcome to emotional inhibitions that are getting in the way of you using it.
University is a pretty safe environment for exploring --as it should be; that's its purpose if nothing else. As a result, you're pretty well emotionally oblivious to the "what-if fears" of putting everything --all your mind and all your passion- into what you do. Perfect.
When you depart, a profoundly unseen transition takes place; you don't have that environment anymore. So you continue with the momentum you had for a while --couple months, 10 years- and then it's gone. You're learned a new environment that pulls into your mind before everything else a whole mess of things; the clichés of "only what's good enough" and "dreams are just dreams."
And then there's the "age 27 factor" as I've coined from the film Proof. (actually, go it is. It's appropriate.) :) Look back over old work and you think you realize that you'll never be able to do something that great again. Again, load of crap. Honestly, for myself, I'm typically looking back over old stuff and, while realizing the significant merit they held at the time and to the process of moving to where I am now, they're working in a highly limited fashion. What consistently happens is I let their singular weight become a symbol, a pristine concept for the knowledge I gained and I hold them so much more highly that what they actually are. On a personal level, that's fine. But to compare that symbol to actual work, no. Don't do it.
So here's my final thoughts on what it boils down to:
Get over it. Your brain is still all there unless you've found little bits on your pillow.
It's only a simple emotional inhibition that's preventing you from actually using your brain. Don't blame it on anything else.
And finally, your old work wasn't that great. (ok, so maybe it was, but it's not nearly as great as you're holding it.)
Totally agree! I'm in a similar position, albeit not 20 years, but 3-4 years. I have realized that I have to connect with creative side of myself and do things for the enjoyment of them.
You make some good points, but I'd disagree that it's too late when you're 45+ to regain your creative spark.
Maybe it's not about "too late", but I think it gets a lot harder to change yourself as you get older. If you're on a good track, you're more likely to stay on a good track; the same for the less-than-good tracks. Creative people will continue to gain creative competence, which is why most peak in their 50s-- it takes a long time to get good-- but I think that someone who voluntarily gives his creativity up, in order to become a social climber, if he hasn't reclaimed it by middle age, probably won't.
There are a lot of people who go into banking and consulting expecting to cash out, retire young, and become novelists or philosophers. Very few of those actually do it.
When the passion fades, I change my job and do something else. Then the passion is back. I guess its because my passion comes from learning new things in technology.
I don't know how old you are but I'll assume/pretend you are in the age range he talks about (22-23 apparently). I'm 42 now so I have ~20 years on you. The things you say, the way you think, and the ideas you have at 22-23 are so different from those you'll have as a 25yo, 30y, 35yo, and 40yo. Life events will change your perspectives 10-20 times in the next 20 years, causing you to change passions once or twice (or lessen/augment your current passions). It is, quite simply, arrogance to think that, at 22-23, you know yourself. You don't. You won't know yourself for 15-20 years, I bet. I'm sure when I'm 50 that I'll think 42yo me was an arrogant fool for thinking I was qualified to give advice to a 22-23yo haha.
All in all, your comments come across as abrasive and "cock sure". Relax. You don't know what you don't know yet. How you approach this "problem" today is not how you will approach it years from now.
Example: let's say at 26yo you develop a product that becomes fairly popular quickly - enough to make you $150,000 in six months. And you did it by yourself with no help. What's next? Will you raise money and try to make $150,000,000 with it? Or will you try to keep it yourself and maybe have a lifestyle business? Whatever you say today is not what you will say in 3-4 years - you will have learned so much by then that there's no point in even speculating what you think to do then.
I'm rambling now so I'm done. Final point is "You aren't as smart as you think you are so back off the rhetoric."
Age can both help fix the problem of feeling well-off and exacerbate it.
It's easy to be among the top in something in the little group that a kid in high school is exposed to. Even in a big district, there are enough things to be good at that you can be the best at something esoteric. Then you go to a good college for that thing, and come in thinking you're all that, and suddenly realize that you're average. But college exposes you to the fact that there are innumerable niches in that thing, and you can pick one and be among the best at that niche from your graduating class. You then go off to work, thinking you're hot stuff with your new top-of-the-line special credentials, and think you know more than everyone else in your field. Surprise: You don't. You meet someone who's been in the field for 30 years and can solve the special problems that you're uniquely good at in their sleep. And that guy has someone he calls when he can't figure something out.
It's sort of like looking for records in a baseball game: There are so many possible records to set and precedents to break, that there's something new for the announcers to go on about in most every game. There's a lot of room to be unique, special, and valuable.
I’ve seen this with models, by the time they’re 22 they have lived in multiple countries, travelled on their own, in all the most classic and “romantic” places that they and other people have aspired to merely visit, and also been around all designers and shows that they dreamed of.
They’re not even at the place where they’re worried about needing to pivot professions, they’ve just done their aspirations - other people’s aspirations - and are left wondering whats next.
They pivot, go back to school. Find something new to be passionate about. Take the office job they thought they would hate but suddenly find it fulfilling.
For us obviously these are the basics: an “office job” lol.
But the concept is similar, adjusting learning something new. Its not just about aspiring for new experiences for yourself, there can be other fulfilling things that are repetitive where you dont really have to one-up yourself, just do it differently. Like art, festivals.
In my experience it is not unusual that an intelligent, ambitious, and creative person finds themselves at a crossroad in their late twenties. Perhaps it began in adolescence, even childhood, where they knew that they had an above-average intelligence and a mind open to possibilities -- but, at the same time, a grave sense of self doubt existed, which only grew year by year as ambitious projects floundered and others (who to appearances were less intelligent or at least less imaginative) thrived. This can reach a crisis point in the late twenties, when the options for avoidance begin to dry up -- and one is faced with the increasing reality of finding work, starting a career, etc.
This can be a frightening moment -- but it is also a liberating moment, viewed correctly. At this point the self's ego-image -- the set of core beliefs about who you are, what you are destined for, how 'intelligence' and 'success' are defined -- come into conflict with the reality principle. This is naturally a very painful moment (drawn across months and even years). It is also an opportunity to redefine these core beliefs -- to reexamine them -- to ask yourself what are your fundamental assumptions about intelligence, creativity, success.
In my own experience, and watching similar-minded friends, this crisis point is a fundamental conflict between what we THINK intelligence, creativity, and genius is -- and what we actually see in ourselves. On the one hand we "know" that we are smart, imaginative -- on the other, the reality principle demands proof and evidence. But here is the paradox: this very belief in intelligence creates its own contradictions. For example, if you believe that smart people are smart because they do clever things easily -- then your brain can start to believe that if you find something hard to do, it is proof of your stupidity. The brain then finds ways to avoid this painful conflict between ego-image and reality -- by dreaming up great ambitions and projects, but then shying away from realising them. Or, you can develop an aversion to "lesser work" -- which reinforces a belief that you are innately special and "above that".
The problem is in the core assumptions one makes about worth -- examining these assumptions deeply, being open to see the paradoxes in them, the hypocrisies even, can reveal avenues out of the situation. You can find practical things to do -- this in turn can build real confidence, not ego-confidence. Work seems then less like 'drudgery' and more like the slow and steady strengthening of your powers.
At 18-22 people are very young and, generally speaking, have very little life experience. They are looking for their place in life, so it's not surprising they are trading places easily. As they mature, they become more stable and better realize what they need/want in life (and job is a major part of life for most of us), so it's only natural they start sticking more to what they found.
In broader strokes: Verify your assumptions, especially about yourself.
Self-discovery was an important part of becoming an independent young adult. What am I good at, what am I bad at, what do I want/need to be good at? But your brain will continue to change through your life, for better and for worse. Just because you were good at multitasking at 24 doesn't mean you still are at 34. And coping mechanisms you used to deal with other limitations might not be helping you anymore.
I've heard a lot of adults say that they still see themselves as 30, and so it's a shock when someone calls them sir, defers to their experience in a tough situation, or when they see how much grey is looking at them in the mirror. If our sense of self gets set in stone, we start to miss things.
Here's the most likely problem: You aren't mature enough yet. Not really in the ego/experience sense, but in the physical mind/body sense. If my anecdotal experience(just a few years out at 25) is any indication, youth makes it harder to stay grounded and take your immediate reality seriously.
For now, stay healthy, keep learning, try lots of things and do good work. You'll be prepared for whatever comes next.
I'm months away from leaving the 20-something club, and looking back at what I wrote to myself in my journal, it's amazing how much my own views and temperament have changed in even five years. Looking at fresh college grads now, I have moments of realizing "this is how I looked to the senior members of my team."
It's humbling. It's also encouraging to extrapolate that into how much more room there is to grow.
There's in particular a sentence right at the start. "If you're young and think you're hot shit, and there's some reason to believe you are, you can go far, very quickly."
When I think back at my time prior to going to University, I really did think this way. And I had reason to. Even during my time at University, that feeling never escaped me.
Once I entered full-time employment (almost by accident. I had started my own limited company at this point), my attitude changed completely. I was surrounded by so many people so unbelievably more clever than me, I was humbled. It wasn't just their abilities, but their "maturity".
Now I cringe to think of my attitude as little as 5 years ago. And I think I have reason to. Where I used to take pride in "fixing your 6-month problem in 4 days", I now realise I failed on a lot of aspects. I am now much more focused on doing things right. I focus on listening and understanding, on being tolerant and empathetic. I measure my work in quality, maintainability, measurable evidence. Every day I try my hardest to learn and to be a pioneer.
I do think this is a positive improvement. But when I come across an article like this one, and recall my youthful naivety and enthusiasm, I do worry if I haven't perhaps lost something more important.
I agree that you gain what can be called "wisdom" in many areas: you start to see things you've seen before, and you're prepared to act appropriately.
However, I don't know how much that matters. I'm 24, and when I was 17-18, I was KILLING IT as a band manager and show promoter. I sold $80,000 worth of tickets in 3 years for my own bands, and for anyone that's wondering: getting shows at good venues is borderline impossible, getting people to pay to see them another miracle.
I've done things since that people may call "more significant" but they weren't. That was the hardest thing I've ever done and my most significant accomplishment. And I couldn't do it again if I started today.
As someone at the very other end of the 20s spectrum:
1. My own responsibility towards myself and my life weighs a lot more heavily on me at 29 than it did at 22. At 22 I had faith that it would work out, somehow. I think that's a feeling to be taken advantage of while you still have it.
2. Conversely, I also realize now that I won't be successful at something that I don't like, and that doing something I like is worth more than money. Obviously this only works to a certain extent, I still need to live. But it seems more and more that as long as you are pursuing you believe in and enjoy, you aren't poor in spirit.
My point being: maybe don't worry so much for the feasibility of your dreams at this moment in your life.
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