I'm staggered by the mysogyny in this thread. A good relationship isn't based on how attractive you are, how much money you make or whether you behave arrogant or not. This implies that women are helpless, will-less creatures that just flock to the peacock with the biggest feathers. A good relationship is based on mutual respect and love.
If you think that your paycheck is a factor in finding a woman I have news for you: you get the women you deserve.
Is your mother akin to a prostitute because she had sex with your dad at the same time that he may have been providing for her material needs?
This is a dirty tactic. It is not good faith engagement.
I'm a woman who has a strict no dating policy, by which I mean that I don't establish romantic relationships based on some man spending money on me. I am entirely satisfied with the positive impact that policy has had on my life.
From what I have read and heard over the years, no, most women don't have sex with their husband because they like him. There are relationships like that, certainly. But the financial factor pretty clearly poisons quite a lot of relationships.
I often think this should be the foundational argument as to why men should be more invested in helping make gender parity happen. If you are a well paid man and tired of feeling like women only date you for your money, fostering a world in which women have money of their own on pat with men is the single best antidote to your dating problem.
As just one supporting citation, this article talks about the fact that pro athletes frequently marry their high school sweetheart because you can't trust that women who met you after you struck it rich really like you. They may just be there for the money. (The article does not use those exact words, but that is the gist of it.)
There are also rap song lyrics about how poor men from the hood can't get a date, but once they strike it rich "it's a puss buffet."
I have read articles where, for example, a guy lost his job and his wife quit having sex with him. He stated that he learned his paycheck was the most attractive thing about him. A friend of a friend lost his well paid job and his wife left him because "it wasn't any fun anymore."
The term gold digging whore is a gendered term. It exists because men typically make a lot more than women and a lot of women are primarily interested in finding someone to pay their bills. This is compounded by the difficulties women face in pursuing serious careers of their own.
While I was homeless, no one wanted to open doors for me career wise. But lots of men wanted to offer me money or a place to stay if I would sleep with them.
In my experience, this problem runs shockingly deep. If your romantic relationships are unaffected by it, count yourself lucky.
I totally agree. Women only date me for my money. I know this bc my personality blows (I generalize women online and sum them up with mathematical equations). Hopefully one day I'll find the most beautiful and richest women to date who will be my soul mate
I've come to the conclusion that if you strip things down to basic principles, a woman that is looking for a man with a nice income, is really no different than us looking for a girl with big tits or with an interest in a special that.
It's just some trait that she prefers in a partner. Every since I made this connection, I hold it less and less against women who want a man that makes a decent salary.
My gf in college broke up with me after a couple of years, and while she'll never admit it, I know it was because I wasn't on the the investment banker track or the like.
I used to have a chip on my shoulder about it, until I realized that she wanting that quality in me, was no different than the reasons I was madly in love with her.
> If someone earns so much money that they can pay 700 usd a month for this service, that basically means that they have figured life out and are successful and do not need to change.
No, that only means that they have enough disposable income to afford the service.
> Personality has also always been something the can be influenced by money. There is a reason why women would prefer rich "jerks" to poor nice guys.
The generalisation you make about women is really offensive, furthermore, you can not assume everyone favours income over personality in a partner.
In any case, dating, like a job hunt and many other aspects of our lives, comes down to weighting up your expectations against someone else's, if you're fine with attracting a partner because of your money, good for you.
Having money is a pretty good heuristic for a lot of positive traits that women generally look for in a mate. It's pretty damn hard to buy a new luxury car with below-average intelligence, social skills, discipline, determination, etc.
And unfortunately unless you're a doctor, lawyer, or CEO, 'having nice things' is the only socially appropriate way to signal that.
I don't like it, but it works really well and sexual selection is what sells luxury cars in general, not advertising.
Not to mention, 'compatible value systems' are not necessary to bring a girl home after a first date and have some fun...
If you want to date women, earning a lot of money is not the right approach, nor will it actually solve your problem. In fact, trying to attract women by a display of wealth is one of the worst things you can do for yourself. Your problems with dating women come down to two things: (1) lack of confidence and (2) lack of understanding of what women want and how they feel.
It's a very deep and complicated topic so I can't explain to you everything you'll need to know in a forum post, but I can point you in the right direction. The resource that's been most helpful for me in the past year has been http://www.relationshiptalkforum.com
I recommend this website to every single guy I know, whether they're single or married.
I don't think that's true at all; I think for many this is an extended whinge that they aren't getting what they think they deserve. viz the (wildly misogynistic) picture of the "international symbol for marriage" which shows a man giving a woman cash.
Personally, I don't care much about the structure of other peoples' relationships: who earns more, who contributes more in other ways, etc. But the thing is, you pick your partner. So if these guys think women are just after their cash, maybe they should pick different partners.
But my strong guess is they generally have low incomes, low physical attractiveness, poor social skills, and poor personalities; think they deserve really attractive women who make a ton of money and love doing housework; and are pissed that these women aren't showing up.
What an absurdly sexist take, maybe women want to be with someone who is (actually, not 'nice guy') nice and doesn't think that money will get them laid?
You seem to be a little naive when it comes to dating. Money by itself doesn't guarantee good partnership. There's also: personality, physical attractiveness, compatibility etc.
That's only true strictly in the context of dating within the professional pool. I would argue that having more money and power is good in general, but NOT for dating subordinates and coworkers.
I have no idea what your point is... i'm talking about avoiding women who are only interested in money or power, i.e gold diggers - that's not a healthy relationship for anyone.
Why do you want to waste your time with the kind of woman who would only speak to you if you have a luxury downtown apartment and sports car if you don't want those things for yourself? Sounds like a recipe for resentment and unhappiness. Why not aim to have sex with women whose values more align with your own?
I don't agree. Money is just a sign of a characteristic that is more important to women, leadership.
You have to realize that the attraction women feel for men evolved in a much different environment from our current world. Women are often attracted to men that are leaders and show the signs of someone who will be good at controlling his environment and providing a stable, safe situation for the raising of children.
I personally have not seen a strong relationship between employment status and attracting a good partner. Women are not impressed by miserable decent paying corporate jobs. Theres no incentive
I make good money (being a reasonably able software dev), and though physically attracted to women, am not interested in them, and haven't been for over a decade now. I was somewhat successful in my youth, but certainly no cassanova.
I find chasing and/or engaging in romantic relationships with women costs me far more than I estimate their worth at (the relationship, not the women themselves). And I'm not just talking money. I'm talking time, freedom, responsibility, cognitive cycles, etc. I think my time is best spent elsewhere on hobbies or video games or mindless entertainment or work.
eh, read more to me like: "you make more than your man? You deserve better". Anyone ever met the one friend who instigates things in relationships by saying stuff like this? male ego is certainly a factor but entitlement that we create in America with feel good statements like ”you deserve the best, you're a catch, don't settle for anything less ” is probably more subtle but just as real a problem. We can't all expect the best, if you want a stable relationship you'll have to make concessions.
I think the women liking money thing is more about social status, power and strength than actual money. A girl I date found it hot that I interview and had a vote in the hiring process for example.
If you think that your paycheck is a factor in finding a woman I have news for you: you get the women you deserve.
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