>And only a very small percentage of those are gold diggers or mail order brides. The vast majority are just normal people with normal dreams of having a modest family.
I wasn't saying that all women are gold diggers or mail order brides. I was responding to a person saying that a short man struggling to find a long term relationship should look into those two options.
>It’s not beating the odds though.
I was mostly joking by this, although I have beaten the odds in other ways by being married to the same person for almost 20 years (at least by US standards).
>If someone is 5’6 and having trouble meeting someone, they should consider if their own criteria are irrational.
> We are in 2022 and a nice, wealthy and rational guy won't commit to someone without a career and finances in order.
This is more often false than true. I know many men who have or are marrying women who make 1/2 or less what they do. Nice, wealthy, and rational folks. They however need a woman. And there is a strong lack of women who are anywhere near where many men are in compensation and wealth.
I am example of that. I married someone who made nothing. I put her through a prestigious college in the most expensive location in the country and paid for it all. Etc.
Supply+demand. We got way more men than we do women in this world under age 35. As a guy - you have to settle.
> Guys nowadays work 5 times harder to get a woman 20 times shittier than their grandfather got 50 years ago
That’s survivorship bias. You know your grandfather got great woman, because he already did.
All of this is pure luck, you can increase your chances by exposing yourself to more opportunities to meet more women, but it’s not a guarantee that you’ll get your dream girlfriend.
> As an average-looking man from an average family, if I want to attract a woman I need to be successful. The more successful I become, the higher quality of woman I can get.
be careful with this line of thinking.
if all you're looking to do is attract a mate with all that money, you're better off investing that time into acting lessons, music lessons, and athletic training.
or you might find out the hard way that being a charismatic, guitar-playing tri-athlete is going to land you a higher quality and more loyal mate than $10 million in the bank ever will.
> We expect men to be the primary breadwinner in a marriage.
In a mysoginistic vision of marriage in your culture, maybe.
It's fine if you see marriage as a business arrangement (readily available sex for money AKA prostitution). But don't pretend everybody views marriage the exact same way.
> I mean, how you can feel that burning love when you’re sitting at the table discussing how to use the last twenty dollars in your bank account?
These are types of issues that, IMO, people need to figure our while they are dating, and not just jump into marriage with someone before knowing how they handle tough, down-on-your-luck, situations. How you handle finances, how you divide chores, the dynamic of a family you want... all these things should be figured out before you pop the question, to make sure you're on the same page with someone before you make to commitment to be with them forever.
It's great this guy found happiness with his wife, but that's quite the gamble he took, not knowing those things before getting married.
> The vast majority of guys will never meet a quality partner online.
I don't know what you guys are doing, but I'm a fat rather antisocial and abrasive guy who was poor and in a rural area when I used online dating. I met probably a half dozen women that I ended up dating over the course of a couple years and eventually met my wife.
You need to put some effort in, and not get hung up when you get rejected but it isn't that bad. Vast majority is really overselling how hard it is. I think some guys have unrealistic expectations, if you are unattractive and don't have much of a personality that is your target market when it comes to dating. If all you are doing is getting rejected that is nature's way of letting you know you are in the wrong league.
My wife has a PhD, and is a Senior Data Scientist (why not Chief, who knows), and belongs to a noble Swedish/Finnish family.
I am P.O.C. trash, from a (mostly) poor town in S Tacoma, WA.
I hit the jackpot.
> Unfortunately, their standards have really gone up since receiving said education. I'm not saying this to bash, it's simply my observation.
I suspect that part of it has to do with the circles you hang out in. If you are a non-professional man, you are less likely to interact with professional women. If you do, you will have more chance to pair-wise bond. Anecdotally, a guy I train Krav Maga with, works at the maintenance crew at a local hotel. His wife has a degree in Aerospace Engineering. They met at a gym.
> believe many of these men will eventually find someone once enough of the women who are now rejecting them face biological realities and are forced to settle if they want to have children.
Who wants to be last choice? Maybe many of these men will wise up and marry a foreign girl(despite the usual shaming) or just hire sexual workers.
> The nature of dating is that the people who have a good experience dating get married, and so they stop dating. People who have only bad experiences keep dating. So the people who are eternally struggling have much more experience at it and have far more to say about dating.
It’s kind of untrue nowadays. Married people get divorced. People split. Plenty are not interested in marriage.
As a data point, I am a currently single average looking and averagely successful guy with no intention of ever getting married (I will probably settle into a long term relationship at some point but I’m not planning to in the near term) and who has dates (as much as such a thing exists here) semi-regularly when I feel like it. I have nothing particularly bad to say about the experience. At its heart, it’s just meeting someone new. It’s not particularly complicated or difficult hence my puzzlement.
Are not usually exactly the winners in life.
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