An ex of mine was back stabbed so viciously in a feminist culture producing context funding play (the 1990s), that I have become very sceptical. I used to run around wearing a badge, Ich bin gegen mich, (I am against myself). I have stopped this.
And, I should be clear, for me as well. I happen not to have bad reactions to expressions of feminism - if I knew how I avoided that, believe me, I'd tell the world - but I carry those wounds from my childhood and they fuck up my life every day.
Wearing regular day clothes. I dont drink. No, my current girlfriend (who identifies as a feminist) thinks the idea of yelling at someone for adhering to the social niceties is strange after I told her about the incident.
As a contrast, I am continually baffled by people that feel threatened by feminism (or anti-racism etc.).
It's bloody obviously that we don't live in a zero-sum regime, what with productivity and living standards continually rising for hundreds of years with no corresponding rise of poverty elsewhere.
I've been to quite a few feminist protests because my partner works at an NGO, and not once was I treated badly or accused of anything, even though I am often one of few men among many women.
It's probably a specific mindset, where you do see one group of people with responsibility, but do not extend that to guilt of any individual (unless they give reason). This way of thinking, which probably comes natural to a German like me, seems to be alien to those men opposing feminism.
See, this is the kind of problem I have with feminism (and a few other things). It was just a feature of the language, exhibited heavily by most slavic languages (which have much richer grammars than English f. eg.) and thus impacting thought process, yet it was your a natural response to "defend the beatnen".
If you position yourself as a victim, don't be surprised when you are treated this way.
I don't hate anyone. I just don't support feminism because it creates bad manners and double standards. How is that hate?
Further, at the time this happened, I didn't even know what feminism was. I was around 16 years old. It was 1978 or so. After it happened, I did some investigating and discovered what might cause such a reaction. For me, it was plain that it was a philosophy based on false premises and as such worthy of rejection. I don't go about preaching my position, but I also certainly never even silently consent to the approbation of a false idea.
Here's the real kicker: tell me what feminism is, then we'll see if we agree it's a good thing or a bad thing. (Of course, the debate on what feminism is will never reach a conclusion, so we're unlikely to get to the second part.)
On a visit to the big city when I was a teenager, I held open a door at the entrance to an office building for a woman in her early 20s, as I had been taught to do by my very traditional parents. She shrieked at me that she could do it herself. I have been an anti-feminist since that moment.
I hadn't really thought about that. My wife is a feminist and it is one of the things that drew me to her. She has definitely helped me recognize these kinds of things in the past. And I have become more sensitive to this, but clearly I have a ways to go.
A group of people did a bad thing to a lady. There were many people in the group and they had more power/agency which they leveraged against this lady for reasons I can only speculate on because I wasn't really alive at the time or invited to the meetings. In all likelihood I wouldn't get along very well with these people. They're part of a group I don't consider myself associating with.
I'm still a feminist, and I still don't understand why I can't be a feminist and also believe the story I just told. The fact that "mainstream feminism" ostracized Pizzey has nothing to do with my personal beliefs. I guess I'm not a mainstream feminist?
FWIW, I think very few people exist as absolutes but typically shades of grey. IDK what "good" or "bad" people are anymore, just good or bad actions. Promoting equality is something I find to be a good action. That is what I feel feminism represents (or should represent, or represents to me).
Here is the thing: my personal boundary is my perceptions. I won't believe something you tell me, which I perceive otherwise.
That would be the ultimate goal of the power game feminism is playing. Political correctness is another tool for that, censoring my thoughts.
If you want to convince me, show me things I can perceive and factor into my estimate of the situation. Don't ask me to simply believe stuff. That would be mind control and power games, and I am not playing.
I found the first parts of your comment interesting.
Writing for myself, I'm definitely antagonistic about feminism because I feel antagonized by it, e.g. being subjected to shaming for 'being a tool of The Patriarchy'.
Ah I see... From your vocabulary, writing style and misandrist digs I can tell you're a "trained feminist" and I know once that belief system takes hold there's no going back and as such, there's no point in arguing. I'm sorry to have wasted your time. Good luck to you and especially to your colleagues.
I hate to be the one to draw the feminism card on HN because I know I'll attract a swarm of people that'll 'disagree' with me by shouting things at me, but that is called rape culture, and despite the confusing name, it is not solely about rape.
If that sounds hard to believe I can empathise, it took a personal anecdote for me to get and notice the spread of it too.
If you're wondering how one would be disincentivized, have a lot at how people react:
For a brief second, I believed this to be real. It's sad, because feminism is not a negative thing - but many of the actions of these "femnazis" discredit the whole movement and make such satire accounts look like "real feminist" accounts.
Just look at the Femen protests... they should all be locked up in prison. Disrupting a religious service in Germany just for the show... the freedom of the individual ends where the freedom of others begins!
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